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Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (205649) - you deserved it (44853)
On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (55620) - you deserved it (324373)
On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)
Today, I came back from college and visited my parents house. There was a new family portrait hung over the mantel of my parents and 2 sisters. My mom had always wanted one but always postponed it. It was dated the day after I left for college. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47059) - you deserved it (1623)
On 02/25/2009 at 5:06pm - misc - by xoothc08 - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my parents gave me a shirt from Banana Republic for my birthday. It looked like one I had bought for myself a couple of days earlier but I thanked them and went to hang it in my closet. An empty hanger hung where I placed the shirt I had purchased. They gave me my shirt for my birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (90951) - you deserved it (3842)
On 02/24/2009 at 9:20pm - misc - by Rich (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue"... He told me "Yeah sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away I read his note: "911". FML
I agree, your life sucks (13998) - you deserved it (38923)
On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I stopped at a lemonade stand on my way to work. A cute little girl handed me a mouthwash-sized cup of juice, and her adorable little brother told me it would be $.25. All I had was a $20. He shoved it into his overalls pocket, looked up with huge brown eyes and just said "Thank you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15443) - you deserved it (42760)
On 02/24/2009 at 12:47pm - kids - by ripdivine (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I called the florist and ordered a flower arrangement for my grandma, who I was told was sick. I said I didn't know what to get her, so just to send her something nice. I got a call from my mom calling me an inconsiderate bastard. They sent my grandma forget-me-nots. She has Alzheimers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37997) - you deserved it (5894)
On 02/23/2009 at 9:22pm - misc - by Originality18 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, after class I was chatting with my teacher, a really cool and stylish old black guy. I tell him he reminds me of one of those soul dudes from those 70s movies, right down to the pimp-walk. He tells me he walks that way because he was beaten for drinking out of the wrong fountain as a kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16779) - you deserved it (37620)
On 02/23/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by catfish - United States (Texas)
Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says "You're a bitch." He's 6. After asking where he heard that word, he responded with "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML
I agree, your life sucks (117980) - you deserved it (8401)
On 02/23/2009 at 7:51am - kids - by lifesucks4me - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21907) - you deserved it (60458)
On 02/22/2009 at 8:38pm - intimacy - by madfather (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I got my fake ID and went out with the boys to dinner and the bars. One of my friends asked to see my ID. He noticed my birthday didn't make me over 21. I paid $170 for a fake ID with my real birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9416) - you deserved it (55814)
On 02/21/2009 at 8:19pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I handed in an assignment in health class that had to calculate my BMI. Embarassed by my weight I put it 15 pounds less. I got the assignment back and lost credit for something. Circled in red pen on the top was you must put your "EXACT" weight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32014) - you deserved it (12269)
On 02/20/2009 at 9:49pm - work - by ohh jeez. - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my boyfriend and I were in Victoria's Secret. I saw a picture of a model and said, "I wish I looked like that." He replied with, "Me too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34162) - you deserved it (18012)
On 02/19/2009 at 1:29am - love - by littelace - United States (Iowa)
Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41145) - you deserved it (10084)
On 02/18/2009 at 6:27pm - kids - by girlmeetsworld - United States (New York)
Today, My boyfriend gave me a gift card for $32 to a local salon. I thought the amount was kind of random, but when I went in I saw that the bikini wax was $32. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33180) - you deserved it (10187)
On 02/18/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by nadalada (woman) - United States (Washington)
Monday 20 May 2013
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