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vvtumblesbee

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vvtumblesbee
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 April 1986 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 20724
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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vvtumblesbee's favorite FMLs

Today, after class I was chatting with my teacher, a really cool and stylish old black guy. I tell him he reminds me of one of those soul dudes from those 70s movies, right down to the pimp-walk. He tells me he walks that way because he was beaten for drinking out of the wrong fountain as a kid. FML

#115273
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17175) - you deserved it (38261)

On 02/23/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by catfish - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says "You're a bitch." He's 6. After asking where he heard that word, he responded with "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML

#112335
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (136231) - you deserved it (11006)

On 02/23/2009 at 7:51am - kids - by lifesucks4me - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

#107795
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23003) - you deserved it (62292)

On 02/22/2009 at 8:38pm - intimacy - by madfather (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got my fake ID and went out with the boys to dinner and the bars. One of my friends asked to see my ID. He noticed my birthday didn't make me over 21. I paid $170 for a fake ID with my real birthday. FML

#98972
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10926) - you deserved it (65857)

On 02/21/2009 at 8:19pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I handed in an assignment in health class that had to calculate my BMI. Embarassed by my weight I put it 15 pounds less. I got the assignment back and lost credit for something. Circled in red pen on the top was you must put your "EXACT" weight. FML

#92098
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35064) - you deserved it (14715)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:49pm - work - by ohh jeez. - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in Victoria's Secret. I saw a picture of a model and said, "I wish I looked like that." He replied with, "Me too." FML

#75423
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34788) - you deserved it (18216)

On 02/19/2009 at 1:29am - love - by littelace - United States (Iowa)

Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML

#70656
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43698) - you deserved it (10844)

On 02/18/2009 at 6:27pm - kids - by girlmeetsworld - United States (New York)

Today, My boyfriend gave me a gift card for $32 to a local salon. I thought the amount was kind of random, but when I went in I saw that the bikini wax was $32. FML

#66686
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37723) - you deserved it (12061)

On 02/18/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by nadalada (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my group of friends, my girlfriend, and I were playing 'never have I ever.' My girlfriend's turn came up and she went with, 'Never have I ever had an orgasm.' FML

#64211
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55471) - you deserved it (17799)

On 02/17/2009 at 10:22pm - intimacy - by skeletor (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML

#62507
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28015) - you deserved it (7686)

On 02/17/2009 at 6:56pm - work - by jessica (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a plastic surgeon's office with a friend. The doctor walked in and before he could look at the consult papers, he started explaining the lipo suction procedure to me. I had to interrupt him and tell him that I was only there for support for my friend's nose job. FML

#61582
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38958) - you deserved it (4757)

On 02/17/2009 at 4:53pm - health - by tigerfiend (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

#55493
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8134) - you deserved it (56858)

On 02/16/2009 at 7:24pm - misc - by lunarboy (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I told my dad I was leaving to get some beauty sleep. He looked at me laughing and said "See you in a decade." FML

#52270
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34766) - you deserved it (5401)

On 02/16/2009 at 10:05am - misc - by mags (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I took a friend out for what I thought was date. After dinner was over and I paid, she pulled the bill out and wrote her name phone number on it for the waiter. FML

#51117
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41935) - you deserved it (2671)

On 02/16/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I submitted my picture to a rating website. It was rejected because I didn't clarify which person I was. The picture was of my dog and me. FML

#50686
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44718) - you deserved it (6064)

On 02/16/2009 at 12:45am - animals - by Ugh - United States (California)



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