This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my daughter learned that if she rips a toy out of its package in front of a store employee, mommy will be forced to buy it. She now has two new toys today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25918) - you deserved it (8894)
On 01/11/2010 at 3:09am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26934) - you deserved it (2469)
On 01/10/2010 at 8:10pm - misc - by wowhoopla - Sent from mobile version
Today, while playing spin the bottle, my two spins landed on two really pretty girls. The first girl I missed and kissed her chin. The second girl I headbutted and gave a nosebleed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8951) - you deserved it (28155)
On 01/10/2010 at 1:13pm - love - by Olihime (man) - United Kingdom (Leicester)
Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved his flaming red hair. He told me that he loved the fuzz on my butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20146) - you deserved it (5205)
On 01/09/2010 at 3:16am - misc - by Snowin2007 (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my sister and I bought new cell phones. We both wanted the same phone in red, but the guy told us that there was only one red phone left. Flirting with him, I said "You should give the prettier sister the red phone." My new phone is black. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7281) - you deserved it (27199)
On 01/09/2010 at 12:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel and acorns with a caption reading "Protect Your Nuts". My dad walked up to me, read my shirt, then punched me in the balls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7614) - you deserved it (27949)
On 01/09/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by squirrel (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26995) - you deserved it (2073)
On 01/08/2010 at 2:23am - kids - by PeanutlyDisabled - France
Today, I planted a bit of a condom wrapper in my bed so my housekeeper would think I have a love life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11493) - you deserved it (22412)
On 01/05/2010 at 9:06am - love - by PJ (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24107) - you deserved it (6551)
On 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm - animals - by poordog (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30287) - you deserved it (2028)
On 01/04/2010 at 8:34am - health - by Soresack (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20969) - you deserved it (5153)
On 01/04/2010 at 1:43am - health - by sadface (woman) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I backed into our new garage door. The same new garage door that we purchased because I broke our old one by backing into it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3917) - you deserved it (4037)
Today, I handed my friend a $50. I paid her to take care of my farm on Farmville, feed my fish on Fishville, and flip my burgers on Cafe World, while I went on vacation for a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7445) - you deserved it (46254)
On 01/03/2010 at 7:00am - misc - by loser (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my stepdad did a crap in the shape of the number 2, took a picture of it and showed it to all my friends at my party, while we were eating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24762) - you deserved it (2795)
On 01/01/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by Moosh - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31398) - you deserved it (15082)
On 12/31/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by pottypattypeepants (woman) - United States (Texas)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
