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vvtumblesbee

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vvtumblesbee
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 April 1986 (28 years)
  • Number of visits : 20747
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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vvtumblesbee's favorite FMLs

Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML

#14838014
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65556) - you deserved it (6031)

On 02/04/2011 at 9:08am - intimacy - by theish -

Today, while in my doctor's packed waiting room, an elderly woman insisted I take her seat. I thanked her, but politely declined. She began to yell, saying I was "ungrateful", until I sat down. She then left, laughing, as I discovered that she peed in the chair. Apparently, she does this often. FML

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

#14806356
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38017) - you deserved it (7386)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States

Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML

#14790156
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43269) - you deserved it (7642)

On 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend, who's on a diet, refused to give me a blow job because my sperm would "add useless calories" to her day. FML

#14677100
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32766) - you deserved it (12249)

On 01/22/2011 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, at the end of another long workday, my husband announced that he was going to take a shower. Attempting to rekindle some much needed romance in our lives, I seductively asked him, "Want me to join you?" He replied, "Sure. But first I have to poop." FML

#14669069
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22057) - you deserved it (4808)

On 01/22/2011 at 12:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of a lane and imitated a gorilla as a way of asking me from far away if I wanted any bananas. FML

#14616201
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23966) - you deserved it (3593) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML

#14524101
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28540) - you deserved it (3004)

On 01/09/2011 at 7:19pm - health - by curlyisnogood -

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML

#14475422
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46742) - you deserved it (8129)

On 01/05/2011 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I hit a parked car which was sticking out in the road and practically unavoidable. I left a note on the windshield saying, "You deserved to get hit - you park like an asshole." Later I realized that the paper I tore to write on was the back of my bank statement, name and address included. FML

#14463588
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6364) - you deserved it (63910)

On 01/04/2011 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I lost my virginity, I think. Does it still count if she left halfway through, laughing? FML

#14449491
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44246) - you deserved it (9297)

On 01/03/2011 at 6:40am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I had the pleasure of meeting my girlfriend's mother for the very first time. She walked in on me in the bathroom; I'd completely lost focus and fallen asleep while taking a shit. FML

#14326550
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11247) - you deserved it (21011)

On 12/24/2010 at 6:49pm - love - by Username - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I put a sock on my dorm room door to get everyone to think I was getting laid. In truth, I'm a virgin and just wanted to take a peaceful nap. FML

#14316899
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27458) - you deserved it (7543)

On 12/23/2010 at 10:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I put my old kitchen table at the end of my driveway with a free sign on it. Later, I saw my neighbor drag it to his yard with a $50 for sale sign on it. It's now gone. FML

#14255221
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9471) - you deserved it (28246)

On 12/19/2010 at 12:41am - misc - by synyster505 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I figured out why my name is Ashley. In order to tell my older sister about getting a new little sister, my parents thought it would be a good idea to make her imaginary friend "Ashley" real. FML

#14244337
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22072) - you deserved it (2090)

On 12/18/2010 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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