Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 06/19/2015 at 3:24am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 8 March 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8654
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

vordhosbn's page activity

Visits<b>WellThatWasRude</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 6:37pm<b>dariboy</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 12:13am<b>Steffi3</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 8:45am<b>lmbachman</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 11:42pm<b>jwb8711</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 3:28pm<b>TheNiceOne</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 11:18pm<b>Aisuchu</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 12:36am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 3:32pm<b>mikaellikestacos</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 12:45pm<b>ShazzRandom</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 10:18pm<b>CAMAR0kid93</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 2:25pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:51pm<b>spanelli</b> - the 12/15/2010 at 11:40pm

vordhosbn's FML badges


You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of vordhosbn's badges

vordhosbn's favorite FMLs

Today, my house was broken into. After we called the police, my dad started calling himself Sherlock Holmes and talking in a British accent. He insists on calling me Watson. He is going around the neighborhood acting like Sherlock, investigating stuff. He won't stop. FML

Today, my 14-year-old daughter convinced my son that when he was born, he was actually born as a girl, but we wanted a boy so bad we had his gender changed. Now he wants to change back to a girl because now he doesn't feel right as a boy. Last year, she got her other brother to cross dress. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52701) - you deserved it (5615)

On 08/11/2013 at 8:58pm - kids - by mydaughterisdisturbed - United States (Indiana)

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. I was screaming and writhing in pain, and my eyes were shut for most of the ride to the hospital. We stopped, and I was thrilled because I thought we were at the ER. I was wrong. My dad had stopped to order a cheeseburger. FML


I agree, your life sucks (58865) - you deserved it (4616)

On 08/06/2013 at 12:11am - health - by mcdonalds - United States

Today, I've been getting calls for over a week on my home phone, cell phone, and the work phone at my night shift, in which someone whispers terrifying Satanic-sounding chants at me. I've now found out that the caller is my best "friend". His explanation: "You seemed lonely, man." FML


I agree, your life sucks (45679) - you deserved it (4483)

On 08/04/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by newbffswelcome (man) - Vietnam (Ha Noi)

Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered "Fuck it" and left. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47327) - you deserved it (3845)

On 07/27/2013 at 12:30pm - love - by Anonycunt (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I was in a training about the newest changes in CPR. The trainer was discussing chest compression techniques and said she prefers "good, fast, hard pumping." I was the only one who snickered out loud, drawing several annoyed looks from the other trainees. I'm a 45-year-old doctor. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40969) - you deserved it (19540)

On 07/25/2013 at 11:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a girl I met recently asked if I wanted to go jogging with her, and I excitedly agreed. A while into our run, I ran out of breath and doubled over panting, all while she kept jogging and slowly disappeared down the street. What a way to spend time together. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42421) - you deserved it (8850)

On 07/05/2013 at 12:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands

Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41019) - you deserved it (3836)

On 06/27/2013 at 2:22am - work - by confusedbagel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I bumped into my parents at the mall. They didn't tell me they were around. I live 5,000 miles away, in a different country from them. FML


I agree, your life sucks (61551) - you deserved it (3756)

On 06/24/2013 at 10:16am - misc - by Coolios (man) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52591) - you deserved it (5243)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, I was sending intimate pictures to my girlfriend and accidentally sent one to my best friend. He sent me one back. FML


I agree, your life sucks (59666) - you deserved it (34690)

On 05/28/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Abrams52 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53764) - you deserved it (24767)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:19am - misc - by i hit a cyclist (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend. Being the mature one, I went up to her and said, "Hey, how's it going?" She maced me and kept walking. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49280) - you deserved it (10898)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:06am - misc - by wat_dafuq_bro (man) -

Today, while he was eating chicken, one of my friends asked me why I'm a vegetarian. I responded that I believe in animal rights and don't like the conditions the animals are forced to live in. He looked at me incredulously before explaining that "chickens aren't animals, they're birds." FML

Today, I had to download a parental block so my dad would stop watching porn on my laptop. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29987) - you deserved it (2130)

On 01/03/2013 at 7:34pm - misc - by Tooyoungforthis (woman) - United States (Colorado)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: