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vordhosbn

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vordhosbn
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  • Number of visits : 5404
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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vordhosbn's favorite FMLs

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She promptly had a panic attack and screamed, "No!" FML

#19584517
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23885) - you deserved it (2158)

On 05/06/2012 at 10:13pm - love - by gutted (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I had a dream I was on the toilet taking the longest piss known to man. Unfortunately, it was partially true. FML

Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML

Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML

#19566058
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10140) - you deserved it (25802)

On 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Optimus_Prime97 - United States

Today, I was with a friend at the mall and I made eye contact and smiled at the worker at a smoothie stand that I went on a date with last year. He saw me, and then ducked down behind the register, where he remained while his coworker awkwardly leaned over him to take my order and money. FML

#19540774
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18594) - you deserved it (2403)

On 04/28/2012 at 2:54am - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had my headphones on while on the bus. I didn't realize how loud the music was till the woman sitting next to me punched me for changing her favorite song and then "ignoring her" when she asked me to put it back. FML

#19540360
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19475) - you deserved it (7871)

On 04/28/2012 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML

#19539358
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37774) - you deserved it (2463)

On 04/27/2012 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by yosenfal (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, I found out that I've been calling my boyfriend's dad by the wrong name for the past two years. No one had told me sooner because they liked laughing at me for it when I wasn't around. FML

#19530940
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17095) - you deserved it (2831)

On 04/26/2012 at 3:11am - misc - by somefamily (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML

#19525973
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17600) - you deserved it (1848)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:22am - intimacy - by intheairtonight (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out I have a kidney infection. Now I'm forced to drink at least 4 glasses of water before going to bed. I also have to be woken up every two hours to be told to, "GO PEE BEFORE YOU DIE!" by my mother. FML

#19520981
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22006) - you deserved it (1724)

On 04/24/2012 at 7:50am - health - by hottygirl905 - United States (Florida)

Today, a therapist told me that I was too depressed to attend his depression group meetings. FML

#19520944
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26271) - you deserved it (2361)

On 04/24/2012 at 7:22am - health - by Sad Sally (woman) - United States

Today, I paid for someone else's pee so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML

#19520767
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7257) - you deserved it (58178)

On 04/24/2012 at 4:29am - work - by xharmonyx - United States

Today, I offered my phone number to the guy I've been flirting back and forth with all week. He said no. FML

#19497689
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18033) - you deserved it (3127)

On 04/19/2012 at 9:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had to explain to my neighbor that black people aren't all lactose intolerant. His eyes still bulge out every time I eat cheese. FML

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27253) - you deserved it (2369)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



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