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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I went swimming in a pond. I came out covered in leeches. Terrified, I screamed, flailed about and cried out for help until half a dozen people ran over. One of them was kind enough to point out that those leeches I was so afraid of were actually patches of mud. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5755) - you deserved it (18220)
On 03/05/2012 at 8:36pm - misc - by asdfBUTT (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19889) - you deserved it (6927)
On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States
Today, I was woken up by my neighbour's dog losing its mind, and I remembered reading a story about someone ignoring a dog and later finding out that their car had been stolen. Paranoid, I went outside to check on mine. Nope. Just the damn dog barking at one thirty in the morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13291) - you deserved it (2471)
On 03/05/2012 at 5:28am - misc - by DamnDogs (woman) - Canada
Today, while my plane took off, I was forced to sit and watch as somebody rear-ended my car in the parking lot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (113) - you deserved it (1382)
Today, I joined a new choir. My director asked me if my best friend was actually my girlfriend. Taken aback, I said no, I was not a lesbian. He then asked me to clarify my gender. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22315) - you deserved it (3147)
On 03/01/2012 at 4:43pm - misc - by Rachel - United States
Today, we had our whole staff photo. We all had to stand up in rows in height order, as I'm tall I had to stand in the middle, at the back. I'm horribly claustrophobic and ended up fainting in front of 100 colleagues, taking down 4 people around me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16959) - you deserved it (2216)
On 02/23/2012 at 7:11am - work - by photofaint - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19541) - you deserved it (4297)
On 02/23/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by ZeroApostle4Ever - United States
Today, I was sitting at the mall food court, and wearing a "Blink If You Want Me" shirt. A guy walked by, saw my shirt, and made a point of holding a staring contest with me before moving on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9406) - you deserved it (31478)
On 02/22/2012 at 2:40pm - misc - by KittenNomNom - United States (Texas)
Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6347) - you deserved it (11873)
On 02/22/2012 at 2:56am - misc - by jenni6488 - United Kingdom (Gateshead)
Today, I had to tell my wife that the new "vegan" diet she has put us on is not working with my body. It's not the horrible gas, hot shits, or constant hunger that made me realize this. It was the dream I had about fried chicken that did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17914) - you deserved it (2064)
On 02/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by kohler9790 - United States
Today, I received the first compliment from the opposite sex that I've gotten in months, from an elderly, cross-dressing man in the parking lot of Goodwill. Apparently my clothes look like they'd be "exciting to try on." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15017) - you deserved it (1793)
On 02/21/2012 at 7:44am - misc - by mishie1 (woman) - United States
Today, I spent my day creating a new type of laugh, and performing it in my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10634) - you deserved it (8602)
On 02/21/2012 at 6:49am - work - by annoym - United States (Florida)
Today, a client stared at me in disbelief after I mentioned that I had a boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17180) - you deserved it (1796)
Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18999) - you deserved it (2406)
On 02/17/2012 at 7:13pm - intimacy - by -_- (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28567) - you deserved it (1918)
On 02/14/2012 at 9:29am - love - by Illinoisgirl - Hungary (Budapest)
Monday 20 May 2013
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