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Today, I was working as a manager of the local movie theater. This six year old came in with no parents or anyone else. When I asked him where his parents were he looked at me and said, "Shut up white boy, I don't have to listen to your shit." I just got told by a six year old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53172) - you deserved it (5384)
On 04/13/2009 at 8:44pm - work - by brad3720 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was working as a lifeguard. A woman began to have a seizure. Nervous, I went into shock and walked into a tree, knocking myself out. Post seizure, the woman stood up and walked away. Later, I woke up in the hospital. The ambulance had arrived to take her, but ended up taking me instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38754) - you deserved it (15851)
On 04/12/2009 at 10:49pm - health - by EpicFailAtItsFinest (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was giving a tour on campus when one of my friends approached us and said "Don't go here, the weed's too expensive." and walked away. Thinking he's coming back to say he's joking, he instead say "i'm just kidding its really cheap" and walked away. I may or may not still have a job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39332) - you deserved it (3637)
On 04/11/2009 at 10:51pm - misc - by JimmyJazzNJ (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I spent 3 hours trying to close a simple $400 deal with a homeowner. He spent 3 hours telling me about his life story including his marital problems, his philosophical views of the world, AND he read me 20 pages of haiku poems. Only 3 hours later did he tell me he couldn't accept my deal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44783) - you deserved it (4457)
On 04/11/2009 at 4:42am - money - by canabana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was riding my bike and stopped at a street light. A little girl looked at me, then asked her mother, "Mommy, why does that girl have a ring through her nose?" Her mother then replied, "Because her parents don't love her." FML
I agree, your life sucks (56318) - you deserved it (13312)
On 04/05/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my patient, a chubby little girl, stood on a scale to measure her weight. She was 5 yrs old and weighed 65 lbs. I started giving her advice on eating healthy: fruits, vegetables, and more greens. She turned to her mother giving a look of shock and said, "But mommy, the doctor is fat too!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (44820) - you deserved it (14197)
On 04/05/2009 at 12:25am - kids - by Shnur (woman) - United States (California)
Today, at my job as a cashier, a man and his 3-year old son got in line. The father said, "Give this to the pretty lady," looking at me. The kid looks at me, looks at his dad, and walks over to the next cashier. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55709) - you deserved it (2777)
On 04/04/2009 at 9:07pm - kids - by Nottheprettylady (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was getting ready to get in the shower. Completely naked, I pulled the curtain away and there was a huge spider on the wall in the shower. I screamed and my husband, disoriented from sleeping, came running in and knocked me over. I killed the spider with my forehead and broke my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62136) - you deserved it (6516)
On 04/03/2009 at 5:07am - animals - by sodaxpopxhiccups (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (199876) - you deserved it (58939)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
I agree, your life sucks (17260) - you deserved it (54568)
On 03/31/2009 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was at my bosses house for a company BBQ. Earlier I had taken muscle relaxants to calm my lower back pain. After a few drinks it was clear the alcohol and medication did not mix. I woke up few hours later to find out I had stripped naked and jumped into the 4 foot cake before passing out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25408) - you deserved it (60344)
On 03/30/2009 at 6:17pm - work - by Donzai (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was having lunch at a cafe. There was an attractive guy looking at me from another table. I smiled back and gave a little wink. A minute later he approached me. I introduced myself and asked if he wanted my number. He said, "Um, no but what are you eating? It looks really good" FML
I agree, your life sucks (38600) - you deserved it (15753)
On 03/28/2009 at 10:14pm - misc - by Samantha (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my friends decided that I eat too many snacks. To emphasize this point, they went behind my back and printed 300 pages with my face and the words "NO SNACKS" on them. They were posted in every academic building on campus, including every room I have class in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58366) - you deserved it (7785)
On 03/25/2009 at 1:45am - misc - by face (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was trying to convince my boyfriend that I am NOT a dumb blonde. After screaming at the top of my lungs, I tripped over a bin and hit my head on a wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16099) - you deserved it (66038)
On 03/24/2009 at 7:10pm - misc - by blondie (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (189607) - you deserved it (21134)
On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)
Friday 24 May 2013
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