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vordhosbn

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vordhosbn

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  • Number of visits : 6604
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>TheNiceOne</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 11:18pm<b>Aisuchu</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 12:36am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 3:32pm<b>mikaellikestacos</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 12:45pm<b>ShazzRandom</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 10:18pm<b>CAMAR0kid93</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 2:25pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:51pm<b>spanelli</b> - the 12/15/2010 at 11:40pm

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vordhosbn's favorite FMLs

Today, driving home, my girlfriend and I decided we were finally going to have sex. We got in the backseat, then I opened my condom to find it was already broken. We ended up playing connect four instead. FML

#6105149
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19979) - you deserved it (4813)

On 11/01/2009 at 5:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML

#6001058
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15358) - you deserved it (8968)

On 10/26/2009 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Brian (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was playing FarmTown and got into a fight with a 14 year old boy. I threatened him with physical violence, and he reported me. I'm 23 years old and got banned from a virtual farming game for threatening children. FML

#5841852
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7522) - you deserved it (57273)

On 10/15/2009 at 1:04pm - kids - by hatelittleboys (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87774) - you deserved it (14676)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my wife asked me if she looked cute in a new dress that she bought earlier today. I told her that she almost looks like a supermodel. Appearantly "almost" doesn't cut it. Guess who's sleeping on the couch. FML

#5785501
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32072) - you deserved it (11200)

On 10/11/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by keepmouthshut (man) - United States (California)

Today, I showed my boyfriend the new tattoo of a butterfly that I'd gotten on my lower back. He said, "It looks like it's flying when your rolls jiggle." FML

#5688481
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13047) - you deserved it (37281)

On 10/06/2009 at 7:32pm - misc - by lovebigmacs (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my college roomate and I received our first pieces of mail. We were very excited because our mailbox wasn't empty anymore. She got a package of home baked cookies in the mail from her family. I got a letter from a stranger in prison. FML

#5675948
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35707) - you deserved it (3236)

On 10/06/2009 at 12:32am - misc - by mahlee (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the weird receptionist at the hotel I'm staying at asked me if I needed an extra blanket because I "looked cold in my sleep last night". FML

#5443972
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62082) - you deserved it (2563)

On 09/24/2009 at 5:50am - misc - by scaredtosleep (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my navy boyfriend, who's stationed in Italy, calls me to say he is in San Francisco and is coming to see me. After scrambling to get ready, he calls me back to say he doesn't recognize the train station. After searching on Google Maps, it becomes clear he's drunk at Oktoberfest. In Germany. FML

#5438718
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40133) - you deserved it (2866)

On 09/23/2009 at 10:47pm - love - by Spatch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went online to check my credit report. My credit report says that I am deceased, and have no rating. I'm at least 90% sure that this is not true. FML

#5419647
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37881) - you deserved it (2233)

On 09/22/2009 at 8:27pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to give a speech on the importance of dental hygiene. I got really nervous, so I did what I've heard in movies. I pictured everyone naked, began staring at a hot blonde in the front, and got hard. FML

#4906491
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13848) - you deserved it (47883)

On 08/29/2009 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by SOdamnNervous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML

#4799049
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32943) - you deserved it (5566)

On 08/24/2009 at 11:34pm - love - by isoheartcaitlin (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML

#4713882
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36293) - you deserved it (4117)

On 08/21/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by Ben (man) - United States



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