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vordhosbn

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vordhosbn
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 5406
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, I was at the mall with my boyfriend and 2 friends. My uncle passed by me in the mall. He said "What are you baby-sitting or something?" He pointed to the merry-go-round. My boyfriend was sitting on the giraffe yelling at the top of his lungs. FML

#3333969
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43162) - you deserved it (10846)

On 06/29/2009 at 11:41am - misc - by merkris (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a blind date a girl from work had set me up with. Apparently my co-worker thinks I'm gay. FML

#3292838
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43192) - you deserved it (3872)

On 06/28/2009 at 12:51am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. I opened my eyes to see his eyes fixed on something else. I turned my head to see what was so interesting. He was on his iPhone looking up recipes for things to wrap in bacon. FML

#3271801
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53136) - you deserved it (6632)

On 06/27/2009 at 10:29am - love - by a_B_c_D_e_F_g (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at lifeguard class, I played a victim while my peers strapped me to the backboard in the water. When I was strapped down, I got wood in a wet swimsuit. My hands were strapped down so I could do nothing to hide it. FML

#3271305
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58975) - you deserved it (8953)

On 06/27/2009 at 9:47am - intimacy - by Victim (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, My 5 year old sister informed me she had left me a present in my bed. She had tied a ribbon around a dead rat's neck and propped it up on my pillow. The label says his name was Bert. FML

#3237157
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39037) - you deserved it (2375)

On 06/26/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by toothfairy (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I finally had sex with a girl I've been dating for over a month. Before we got started she told me not to worry about the birth control because she could handle that. So after we finished I asked her what kind of birth control she used. She said she meditated. FML

#3211870
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32189) - you deserved it (67922)

On 06/25/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by UrbanCass (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was visiting my friend's new house and he was showing me around. I saw a small door in the wall and decided to open it. When I opened it, his daughter was hiding in there and screamed to scare me. Now I know my scream is more high pitched than his daughter's. I'm a 37 year old male. FML

#3188725
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27584) - you deserved it (6137)

On 06/24/2009 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I enlisted for The Navy because my Boy Scout leader encouraged me. He fought in Korea and is a real inspiration. I asked him what motivated him to join The Navy. He said he was drunk and didn't remember joining until he was called up. FML

#3172918
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33505) - you deserved it (8965)

On 06/24/2009 at 12:37pm - work - by ArmyMan (man) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I got a call from my son's second grade teacher. He happens to write and throw with both hands, and wanted to share this during show and tell. Apparently, he didn't know the word for this is ambidextrous, because his teacher told me, "Your son just told the whole class that he's bisexual!" FML

#3120236
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45329) - you deserved it (4475)

On 06/22/2009 at 2:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had a job interview with a person named Chris. The entire time I couldn't figure out if Chris was a man or woman. The interview went as good as it could have went. At the end I said, "Thank you very much sir." Wrong gender. FML

#3117868
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37441) - you deserved it (16573)

On 06/22/2009 at 12:18pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my dad I was going to Walgreens and asked if he needed anything. He needed condoms, and that I should call him when I get there so he can explain the kind he likes. FML

#3113124
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60190) - you deserved it (4699)

On 06/22/2009 at 5:03am - intimacy - by fml (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend and I took a late night drive, and after a while he stopped at a gas station and asked if I wanted anything I replied "guess". He came out and gave me a box of tampons. Apparently I've been bitchy. FML

#3112345
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14818) - you deserved it (63258)

On 06/22/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by tamp (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, my friend sent me a bumper sticker that said, "Do you know that gullible said slowly sounds like 'green bears'?" I spent quite a few minutes trying to get gullible to sound like green bears until I realized that it didn't. FML

#3048050
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9575) - you deserved it (56445)

On 06/20/2009 at 12:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went outside a friend's house to find that my car had been saran wrapped. I cleaned it up and went back inside the house. An hour later, I heard a doorbell ring so I went outside the house. They saran wrapped my car again. FML

#3017259
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36695) - you deserved it (4880)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:25am - misc - by bear92 - United States (Virginia)

Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML

#3016666
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14118) - you deserved it (97523)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by kat9232000 - Canada (Alberta)



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