vordhosbn

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Offline (the 06/19/2015 at 3:24am)

vordhosbn

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 8 March 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9392
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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vordhosbn's page activity

Visits<b>WellThatWasRude</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 6:37pm<b>dariboy</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 12:13am<b>Steffi3</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 8:45am<b>lmbachman</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 11:42pm<b>jwb8711</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 3:28pm<b>TheNiceOne</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 11:18pm<b>Aisuchu</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 12:36am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 3:32pm<b>mikaellikestacos</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 12:45pm<b>ShazzRandom</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 10:18pm<b>CAMAR0kid93</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 2:25pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:51pm<b>spanelli</b> - the 12/15/2010 at 11:40pm

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vordhosbn's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML

by artsmart1 / 03/05/2010 at 7:40pm / United States / Health

Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML

by DUMMIE / 03/03/2010 at 7:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to give a speech but I wasn't prepared. I decided to give it anyway. While giving the speech, I got so nervous I passed out. FML

by Anonymous / 03/02/2010 at 9:45am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML

by GuiltByTenuousAssociation / 03/01/2010 at 8:17am / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend told me I look like a fish gasping for breath when I "finish" during sex. FML

by anonymous / 02/24/2010 at 12:05am / United States (Montana) / Intimacy

Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking, I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML

by Patrick / 02/22/2010 at 8:29pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I was walking with a friend after buying two cups of steaming hot coffee. While crossing the busiest street in town I tripped and fell, spilling the coffee all over me. My friend didn't notice I fell right in front of her and tripped over me spilling her coffee on me as well. FML

by burnnnnn / 02/21/2010 at 8:31pm / Ecuador (Azuay) / Miscellaneous

Today, the pictures from last night's party were put on Facebook. The pictures that show me getting in a drunken fight with a girl and her putting my face through the wall. FML

by creamed / 02/20/2010 at 12:29pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, while on my graveyard shift at an inner-city backpackers lodge, a drunk pissed in a dorm at 4am. I had to clean up after him, wash all the luggage that got dowsed, clean up 2 separate piles of puke, and help 3 drunken Brits back to their room while they abused me. I have a science degree. FML

by underachiever / 02/20/2010 at 2:29am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, in math, I was working on an assignment and this really cute girl comes over and says my name. At this point, my heart is pumping with excitement and I'm thinking she is going to ask for my number. She said, "Did you know someone drew a penis on your back?" FML

by GeneralElement / 02/19/2010 at 1:32am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML

by grrrr / 02/07/2010 at 7:35pm / United States / Kids

Today, I did something clever at work and I was telling one of the other girls about it. I said "Just using my noodle" and went to tap my temple but instead I jabbed myself in the eye. FML

by ke / 01/29/2010 at 12:10am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, I was skiing really fast and there was a sign saying 'Slow Down'. Feeling rather good about myself I decided to jump over the sign. Whilst jumping, however, I caught my ski tips on the sign and went face first into the ground. Hard. FML

by Skier / 01/28/2010 at 9:01pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I was in a tense tiebreak round to win the local pub quiz. As the quizmaster read out more clues, I got the answer, got up and rushed to be the first team to the bar. I tripped, faceplanted. The whole bar laughed, and then I realized that it wasn't a "fastest to the bar" round. FML

by pubquizgenius / 01/27/2010 at 3:24am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2010 at 3:47am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy