Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

vordhosbn

Offline (the 07/20/2014 at 7:38pm) | Search for a member

vordhosbn

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5839
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

vordhosbn's page activity

Visits<b>Cherryta</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 3:32pm<b>mikaellikestacos</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 12:45pm<b>ShazzRandom</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 10:18pm<b>CAMAR0kid93</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 2:25pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:51pm<b>spanelli</b> - the 12/15/2010 at 11:40pm

vordhosbn's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of vordhosbn's badges

vordhosbn's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on a long-haul plane journey home from my holiday. After 5 hours, I decided to stretch my arms whilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching, running down the aisle as my arm stretched out. I accidentally clothes-lined a little 9 year old girl. FML

#7203649
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26416) - you deserved it (3504)

On 01/07/2010 at 7:25pm - misc - by James4929 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend had a Christmas party for all of our friends. He asked me not to get "too drunk". I think throwing up on the floor while simultaneously peeing your pants fit his definition. FML

#6966482
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4934) - you deserved it (38798)

On 12/27/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by Unfortunate (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was taking the final exam for one of my classes. The teacher came over to my desk, grabbed my test and ripped it in half. Then he grabbed my hand and read the note I had written on it to remind myself to pay rent. FML

#6752587
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38685) - you deserved it (5833)

On 12/14/2009 at 2:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I saw my four-year-old son running around outside, and copying everything our dog was doing. I thought it was cute, so I went to grab the camera. When I went back outside, I saw my dog eating a dead rabbit, and my son doing the same. FML

#6741094
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37397) - you deserved it (5615)

On 12/13/2009 at 7:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I fell asleep with my hands down my pants. I woke up to an excruciating pain coming from my genitalea. It turns out that I was having nightmares and I squeezed my balls because I was so terrified. I popped 3 blood vessels in my scrotum and now walk with a limp. FML

#6635616
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23470) - you deserved it (9500)

On 12/06/2009 at 3:42pm - intimacy - by Ballhugger (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out I've been misspelling my middle name for 25 years. FML

#6501261
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16056) - you deserved it (35694)

On 11/28/2009 at 8:53pm - misc - by figures - United States

Today, I got no happy birthday wishes from anyone. I decided to call my sister to see if she'd remembered. My 6-year-old niece answered, so I told her it was my birthday. She said that it's tomorrow. After ten minutes of arguing with a 6-year-old, I checked the calendar. It's tomorrow. FML

#6476260
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7047) - you deserved it (53284)

On 11/27/2009 at 9:26am - misc - by forgotmyownbirthday (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got out of the wrong side of the bed. Into a wall. FML

#6475314
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12003) - you deserved it (25021)

On 11/27/2009 at 5:11am - misc - by Nick (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my husband and I were at a wedding. When the DJ announced that the bar was open, my hubby was the only one to RUN to the bar while the other husbands stayed behind to dance with their wives, eyeing us in a weird way. FML

#6456010
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26702) - you deserved it (3789)

On 11/26/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Embarassedd (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finished up my physics project. I had to make some thing out of toothpicks and glue that will keep an egg from breaking when dropped 20 feet. It took me 10 hours to make it, but only took my dad 10 seconds to step on it and break it. It's due tomorrow. FML

#6258270
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29829) - you deserved it (4046)

On 11/11/2009 at 2:09pm - misc - by Physics fail. - United States

Today, I went to have my eyebrows waxed for the first time. After signing in the receptionist looked at me and said "Lip wax?". I told her no, my eyebrows. She sat me down and the waxer walked up, took one look at me and said "Lip wax?" FML

#6230893
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28252) - you deserved it (9012)

On 11/09/2009 at 5:27pm - misc - by LoserOfTheYear (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, driving home, my girlfriend and I decided we were finally going to have sex. We got in the backseat, then I opened my condom to find it was already broken. We ended up playing connect four instead. FML

#6105149
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19707) - you deserved it (4788)

On 11/01/2009 at 5:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML

#6001058
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15199) - you deserved it (8938)

On 10/26/2009 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Brian (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was playing FarmTown and got into a fight with a 14 year old boy. I threatened him with physical violence, and he reported me. I'm 23 years old and got banned from a virtual farming game for threatening children. FML

#5841852
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7091) - you deserved it (55518)

On 10/15/2009 at 1:04pm - kids - by hatelittleboys (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87341) - you deserved it (14596)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: