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vordhosbn

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vordhosbn

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  • Number of visits : 6430
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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vordhosbn's favorite FMLs

Today, while on my graveyard shift at an inner-city backpackers lodge, a drunk pissed in a dorm at 4am. I had to clean up after him, wash all the luggage that got dowsed, clean up 2 separate piles of puke, and help 3 drunken Brits back to their room while they abused me. I have a science degree. FML

#8468411
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24453) - you deserved it (3275)

On 02/20/2010 at 2:29am - work - by underachiever (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, in math, I was working on an assignment and this really cute girl comes over and says my name. At this point, my heart is pumping with excitement and I'm thinking she is going to ask for my number. She said, "Did you know someone drew a penis on your back?" FML

#8433331
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25905) - you deserved it (3150)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:32am - misc - by GeneralElement (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML

#7981374
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28785) - you deserved it (2371)

On 02/07/2010 at 7:35pm - kids - by grrrr - United States

Today, I did something clever at work and I was telling one of the other girls about it. I said "Just using my noodle" and went to tap my temple but instead I jabbed myself in the eye. FML

#7662711
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5928) - you deserved it (26101)

On 01/29/2010 at 12:10am - work - by ke (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was skiing really fast and there was a sign saying 'Slow Down'. Feeling rather good about myself I decided to jump over the sign. Whilst jumping, however, I caught my ski tips on the sign and went face first into the ground. Hard. FML

#7653625
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4632) - you deserved it (47703)

On 01/28/2010 at 9:01pm - health - by Skier (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was in a tense tiebreak round to win the local pub quiz. As the quizmaster read out more clues, I got the answer, got up and rushed to be the first team to the bar. I tripped, faceplanted. The whole bar laughed, and then I realized that it wasn't a "fastest to the bar" round. FML

#7607297
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6982) - you deserved it (21562)

On 01/27/2010 at 3:24am - misc - by pubquizgenius (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

#7563904
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30661) - you deserved it (4373)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend isn't gay. Apparently, I just give good head. FML

#7538814
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24441) - you deserved it (6581)

On 01/24/2010 at 3:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out that when you hit the neighbor's dog with your car, they might chase you a mile with a shotgun. FML

#7493759
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9412) - you deserved it (38039)

On 01/22/2010 at 3:14am - animals - by S.Bunny (man) - United States (New York)

Today, a man I don't know came up to me and started screaming about how "all you damn Mexicans were stealing American's jobs" and he stormed off. I'm Native American, and I'm pretty sure we've been here longer. FML

#7482237
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49488) - you deserved it (3935)

On 01/21/2010 at 7:45pm - misc - by hardtotell (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was the only girl in my lab class. The instructor was learning our names. When he came to me, I went to say "mine will be easy" and it came out as "I'm easy." FML

#7471357
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12853) - you deserved it (26700)

On 01/21/2010 at 9:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I flew a toy helicopter into my face. FML

#7436453
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8053) - you deserved it (30920)

On 01/19/2010 at 12:42pm - misc - by magicalDEATH (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I flew a toy helicopter into my face. FML

#7436453
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8053) - you deserved it (30920)

On 01/19/2010 at 12:42pm - misc - by magicalDEATH (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, one of my employees lit my tie on fire. FML

#7430304
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24472) - you deserved it (5340)

On 01/19/2010 at 12:00am - work - by mcdman (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my father yelled at me for changing 1 of his 2 programable seat positions in his car because he uses both. Apparently, 1 is for sober driving and 2 is for high/drunk driving. Go dad. FML

#7353049
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26956) - you deserved it (3141)

On 01/15/2010 at 2:24am - misc - by Goobie (man) - United States (Texas)



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