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vordhosbn

Offline (the 09/28/2014 at 8:55pm) | Search for a member

vordhosbn

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  • Number of visits : 6168
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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vordhosbn's page activity

Visits<b>Aisuchu</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 12:36am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 3:32pm<b>mikaellikestacos</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 12:45pm<b>ShazzRandom</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 10:18pm<b>CAMAR0kid93</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 2:25pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:51pm<b>spanelli</b> - the 12/15/2010 at 11:40pm

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vordhosbn's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML

#8861010
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9026) - you deserved it (26419)

On 03/06/2010 at 1:10am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML

#8851700
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22918) - you deserved it (2414)

On 03/05/2010 at 7:40pm - health - by artsmart1 - United States

Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML

#8805170
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7860) - you deserved it (25274)

On 03/03/2010 at 7:07pm - misc - by DUMMIE (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to give a speech but I wasn't prepared. I decided to give it anyway. While giving the speech, I got so nervous I passed out. FML

#8770202
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19982) - you deserved it (7750)

On 03/02/2010 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML

#8743976
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35448) - you deserved it (2366)

On 03/01/2010 at 8:17am - misc - by GuiltByTenuousAssociation (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend told me I look like a fish gasping for breath when I "finish" during sex. FML

#8605732
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16409) - you deserved it (3831)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:05am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Montana)

Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking, I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML

#8565371
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24439) - you deserved it (6692)

On 02/22/2010 at 8:29pm - work - by Patrick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was walking with a friend after buying two cups of steaming hot coffee. While crossing the busiest street in town I tripped and fell, spilling the coffee all over me. My friend didn't notice I fell right in front of her and tripped over me spilling her coffee on me as well. FML

#8528184
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20123) - you deserved it (2322)

On 02/21/2010 at 8:31pm - misc - by burnnnnn (woman) - Ecuador (Azuay)

Today, the pictures from last night's party were put on Facebook. The pictures that show me getting in a drunken fight with a girl and her putting my face through the wall. FML

#8477900
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6367) - you deserved it (31905)

On 02/20/2010 at 12:29pm - misc - by creamed (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, while on my graveyard shift at an inner-city backpackers lodge, a drunk pissed in a dorm at 4am. I had to clean up after him, wash all the luggage that got dowsed, clean up 2 separate piles of puke, and help 3 drunken Brits back to their room while they abused me. I have a science degree. FML

#8468411
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24412) - you deserved it (3274)

On 02/20/2010 at 2:29am - work - by underachiever (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, in math, I was working on an assignment and this really cute girl comes over and says my name. At this point, my heart is pumping with excitement and I'm thinking she is going to ask for my number. She said, "Did you know someone drew a penis on your back?" FML

#8433331
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25234) - you deserved it (3076)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:32am - misc - by GeneralElement (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML

#7981374
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28725) - you deserved it (2369)

On 02/07/2010 at 7:35pm - kids - by grrrr - United States

Today, I did something clever at work and I was telling one of the other girls about it. I said "Just using my noodle" and went to tap my temple but instead I jabbed myself in the eye. FML

#7662711
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5912) - you deserved it (26038)

On 01/29/2010 at 12:10am - work - by ke (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was skiing really fast and there was a sign saying 'Slow Down'. Feeling rather good about myself I decided to jump over the sign. Whilst jumping, however, I caught my ski tips on the sign and went face first into the ground. Hard. FML

#7653625
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4617) - you deserved it (47640)

On 01/28/2010 at 9:01pm - health - by Skier (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was in a tense tiebreak round to win the local pub quiz. As the quizmaster read out more clues, I got the answer, got up and rushed to be the first team to the bar. I tripped, faceplanted. The whole bar laughed, and then I realized that it wasn't a "fastest to the bar" round. FML

#7607297
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6687) - you deserved it (20835)

On 01/27/2010 at 3:24am - misc - by pubquizgenius (man) - United Kingdom (London)



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