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vordhosbn

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vordhosbn
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4156
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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vordhosbn's favorite FMLs

Today, I was fired for telling a customer's kid to shut his mouth. As revenge, I sent the CEO a picture I acquired months ago of my boss drunkenly pissing on a cow. He wrote that it was the funniest thing he had ever seen, and that I am "clearly an insufferable killjoy; a total liability to the company." FML

#19934119
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4733) - you deserved it (20094)

On 07/13/2012 at 8:48pm - work - by Alexander D. (man) - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store with three bags full of sausages that I'd drunkenly bought the night before. Even though the manager remembered me, he wouldn't give me a refund, and now I'll be lucky if I can pay my rent this month. FML

#19933310
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4192) - you deserved it (22265)

On 07/13/2012 at 4:13pm - misc - by minaaaaajftw (man) - Norway (Akershus)

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML

#19932634
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20191) - you deserved it (2383)

On 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm - kids - by Marjorie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house and caught her digging for gold. She wasn't picking her nose - she was literally trying to dig for gold in her backyard. FML

#19926554
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16895) - you deserved it (1891)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:03am - love - by anidiotskeeper (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had a violent sneezing attack while changing my phone's password and now I have no idea what it could be. FML

#19911414
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21197) - you deserved it (2816)

On 07/08/2012 at 9:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my manager called me into his office and spent half an hour screaming at me for granting one of our workers so many religious off-days. Apparently, the name of these "religious observances" actually means something to the effect of "scoring some pussy" in Macedonian. FML

#19909832
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14450) - you deserved it (2563)

On 07/08/2012 at 2:32pm - work - by a4rk (man) - Malaysia (Sarawak)

Today, my mom wanted to send me a picture of me at graduation, saying that I looked pretty in it. It was a picture of a different girl; definitely not me. Way to go, mom. FML

#19909229
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18424) - you deserved it (1008)

On 07/08/2012 at 11:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was brutally dumped over webcam, by my boyfriend, who was taking a dump with the laptop on his lap. FML

#19899263
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20212) - you deserved it (1803)

On 07/06/2012 at 6:51am - love - by Toilettrash (woman) - United States

Today, I'm going to court to give an eyewitness account of a robbery. Unfortunately, I had a wacky dream last night concerning the robbery, and no longer have any idea of what actually happened in real life. FML

#19884306
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23177) - you deserved it (2208)

On 07/03/2012 at 2:22am - misc - by Dreamer (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML

#19884123
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26864) - you deserved it (1549)

On 07/03/2012 at 1:36am - misc - by needmorelocks - United States (California)

Today, I woke up at 5 am to the voices of my husband, who I gave my blessing to go out last night, and his buddies entering our apartment. They came here because the buddy who had planned to house them had no beer. They are drunk, drinking on our porch, shaving my husband's head. FML

#19880160
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14046) - you deserved it (2556)

On 07/02/2012 at 8:36am - misc - by furious at five in the morning (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I tripped on the way back from collecting a prize in front of 600 students and their parents. I got more applause than I did when collecting the prize. FML

#19877317
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12871) - you deserved it (1194)

On 07/01/2012 at 7:03pm - misc - by plzdontclapme -

Today, my daughter's hamster pulled the water bottle off the glass, so I decided to super-glue the bottle back on. We came back an hour later to see if it had stuck, only to find both the bottle and rodent glued to the glass. FML

#19875784
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5429) - you deserved it (15598)

On 07/01/2012 at 11:59am - animals - by mommabuser -

Today, I came home from a knee surgery. I asked my mother to get me a glass of water. She replied, "You can get it, you're not crippled. Oh wait, yeah you are" and laughed hysterically. FML

#19848525
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20726) - you deserved it (2241)

On 06/26/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by crippy - United States

Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML

#19823545
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17102) - you deserved it (867)

On 06/21/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)



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