Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

vordhosbn

Offline (11 minutes ago) | Search for a member

vordhosbn

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6616
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

vordhosbn's page activity

Visits<b>TheNiceOne</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 11:18pm<b>Aisuchu</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 12:36am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 3:32pm<b>mikaellikestacos</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 12:45pm<b>ShazzRandom</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 10:18pm<b>CAMAR0kid93</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 2:25pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:51pm<b>spanelli</b> - the 12/15/2010 at 11:40pm

vordhosbn's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of vordhosbn's badges

vordhosbn's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML

#19566058
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10972) - you deserved it (27121)

On 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Optimus_Prime97 - United States

Today, I was with a friend at the mall and I made eye contact and smiled at the worker at a smoothie stand that I went on a date with last year. He saw me, and then ducked down behind the register, where he remained while his coworker awkwardly leaned over him to take my order and money. FML

#19540774
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22039) - you deserved it (2739)

On 04/28/2012 at 2:54am - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had my headphones on while on the bus. I didn't realize how loud the music was till the woman sitting next to me punched me for changing her favorite song and then "ignoring her" when she asked me to put it back. FML

#19540360
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21940) - you deserved it (8273)

On 04/28/2012 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML

#19539358
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44548) - you deserved it (3421)

On 04/27/2012 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by yosenfal (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, I found out that I've been calling my boyfriend's dad by the wrong name for the past two years. No one had told me sooner because they liked laughing at me for it when I wasn't around. FML

#19530940
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21841) - you deserved it (3839)

On 04/26/2012 at 3:11am - misc - by somefamily (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML

#19525973
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23932) - you deserved it (2693)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:22am - intimacy - by intheairtonight (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out I have a kidney infection. Now I'm forced to drink at least 4 glasses of water before going to bed. I also have to be woken up every two hours to be told to, "GO PEE BEFORE YOU DIE!" by my mother. FML

#19520981
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24748) - you deserved it (1912)

On 04/24/2012 at 7:50am - health - by hottygirl905 - United States (Florida)

Today, a therapist told me that I was too depressed to attend his depression group meetings. FML

#19520944
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28541) - you deserved it (2558)

On 04/24/2012 at 7:22am - health - by Sad Sally (woman) - United States

Today, I paid for someone else's pee so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML

#19520767
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8281) - you deserved it (63264)

On 04/24/2012 at 4:29am - work - by xharmonyx - United States

Today, I offered my phone number to the guy I've been flirting back and forth with all week. He said no. FML

#19497689
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21804) - you deserved it (3570)

On 04/19/2012 at 9:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had to explain to my neighbor that not all black people are lactose intolerant. His eyes still bulge out every time I eat cheese. FML

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31467) - you deserved it (2660)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was in the car with my daughter, when I narrowly missed hitting a car after running a stop sign. After she screamed at me and demanded to know what I was doing, I had to admit that I'd been daydreaming about David Bowie. FML

#19478782
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5337) - you deserved it (27887)

On 04/16/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by DJ Clitter (man) - United States

Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML

#19477663
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24679) - you deserved it (2933)

On 04/16/2012 at 8:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, late for work, I called my dad to see if he knew where my keys were. Turns out he'd taken them on holiday with him because they have a bottle opener on them. FML

#19466099
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23948) - you deserved it (1784)

On 04/14/2012 at 11:20am - misc - by keyless (woman) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: