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vordhosbn

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vordhosbn
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5417
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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vordhosbn's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML

#19144211
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23536) - you deserved it (5662)

On 02/23/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by ZeroApostle4Ever - United States

Today, I was sitting at the mall food court, and wearing a "Blink If You Want Me" shirt. A guy walked by, saw my shirt, and made a point of holding a staring contest with me before moving on. FML

#19139101
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9565) - you deserved it (32161)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:40pm - misc - by KittenNomNom - United States (Texas)

Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML

#19137014
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6505) - you deserved it (12285)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:56am - misc - by jenni6488 - United Kingdom (Gateshead)

Today, I had to tell my wife that the new "vegan" diet she has put us on is not working with my body. It's not the horrible gas, hot shits, or constant hunger that made me realize this. It was the dream I had about fried chicken that did. FML

#19134075
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21147) - you deserved it (2654)

On 02/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by kohler9790 - United States

Today, I received the first compliment from the opposite sex that I've gotten in months, from an elderly, cross-dressing man in the parking lot of Goodwill. Apparently my clothes look like they'd be "exciting to try on." FML

#19129849
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18692) - you deserved it (2370)

On 02/21/2012 at 7:44am - misc - by mishie1 (woman) - United States

Today, I spent my day creating a new type of laugh, and performing it in my head. FML

#19129747
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11077) - you deserved it (8711)

On 02/21/2012 at 6:49am - work - by annoym - United States (Florida)

Today, a client stared at me in disbelief after I mentioned that I had a boyfriend. FML

#19129542
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17762) - you deserved it (1819)

On 02/21/2012 at 4:53am - work - by kat (woman) - Reserved

Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML

#19102316
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23078) - you deserved it (3205)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:13pm - intimacy - by -_- (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

#19072659
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32852) - you deserved it (2498)

On 02/14/2012 at 9:29am - love - by Illinoisgirl - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently, the mafia is out to get him. FML

#19071061
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18807) - you deserved it (2034)

On 02/14/2012 at 1:32am - love - by Just_Me_88 (woman) - United States

Today, I got a text from my mom saying, "I heard the cupcake store got robbed. Where are you?" Then she texted back, "Oh never mind, they wanted money, not cupcakes. It wasn't you." Very funny, Mom. FML

#19062994
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22370) - you deserved it (4337)

On 02/13/2012 at 2:09am - misc - by cieee - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because, I "always wear that stupid little hat." I'm Jewish. FML

#19062488
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31801) - you deserved it (7559)

On 02/13/2012 at 1:00am - love - by Kevin (man) - United States

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

#19043614
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19439) - you deserved it (1824)

On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States

Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. It was plastic. FML

#19035452
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24484) - you deserved it (8113) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/09/2012 at 5:11pm - misc - by Bonapp - France

Today, my social anxiety got so bad, I nearly had a panic attack when too many people joined my World of Warcraft party. FML

#19033739
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22605) - you deserved it (15106)

On 02/09/2012 at 11:42am - health - by SocialAnxietyNightmare (woman) - United Kingdom (London)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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