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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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vordhosbn

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vordhosbn
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1922
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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vordhosbn's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently, the mafia is out to get him. FML

#19071061 (55)

I agree, your life sucks (1049) - you deserved it (122)

On 02/14/2012 at 1:32am - love - by Just_Me_88 (woman) - United States

Today, I got a text from my mom saying, "I heard the cupcake store got robbed. Where are you?" Then she texted back, "Oh never mind, they wanted money, not cupcakes. It wasn't you." Very funny, Mom. FML

#19062994 (73)

I agree, your life sucks (4128) - you deserved it (822)

On 02/13/2012 at 2:09am - misc - by cieee - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because, I "always wear that stupid little hat." I'm Jewish. FML

#19062488 (67)

I agree, your life sucks (5227) - you deserved it (1531)

On 02/13/2012 at 1:00am - love - by Kevin (man) - United States

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

#19043614 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (5810) - you deserved it (538)

On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States

Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. It was plastic. FML

#19035452 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (6647) - you deserved it (2153) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/09/2012 at 5:11pm - misc - by Bonapp - France

Today, my social anxiety got so bad, I nearly had a panic attack when too many people joined my World of Warcraft party. FML

#19033739 (248)

I agree, your life sucks (58) - you deserved it (3226)

On 02/09/2012 at 11:42am - health - by SocialAnxietyNightmare (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, after I spent nearly three hours building an igloo, my dog decided it would be a nice to enter it and take a shit. FML

#19032075 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (6019) - you deserved it (944)

On 02/09/2012 at 1:37am - animals - by A (woman) - United States

Today, I was attacked by a bird at 3 in the morning. The bird was being attacked by an owl, and decided the safest place to land wasn't in a tree, but my face. No-one will believe me, despite the 12 stitches across my face. FML

#19026198 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (6073) - you deserved it (436)

On 02/08/2012 at 12:45pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I had to get my picture taken for a badge at the hospital. My sister came home and told my parents that she'd had a horrible day at work. They showed her my "hysterical" badge picture to cheer her up. FML

#19025712 (39)

I agree, your life sucks (4879) - you deserved it (551)

On 02/08/2012 at 10:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to explain to this really intimidating girl that I wasn't giving her a dirty look, and that it was just my face at rest. FML

#19018819 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (5831) - you deserved it (680)

On 02/07/2012 at 3:39pm - misc - by Emily (woman) - United States

Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML

#19011410 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (6804) - you deserved it (530)

On 02/06/2012 at 4:43pm - health - by Marc - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I asked my professor what happened to the assignment I gave him several weeks ago. Turns out he lost it, and graded me zero as a result. Now if I want a mark, he says I'll have to hand-write it all over again, but that I "probably shouldn't bother," because it was "a bit shit, really." FML

#19011157 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (6708) - you deserved it (500)

On 02/06/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, a train hit me. A slow mini-train full of kindergartners who were on a tour of the museum I was visiting. FML

#19004597 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (10038) - you deserved it (2701)

On 02/05/2012 at 9:14pm - health - by MahSquito (man) - United States

Today, was the fifth night I've dreamed of brushing my teeth. I wake up about three times a night because as I spit in my dream, I actually spit on my face as I'm sleeping. FML

#18995010 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (6201) - you deserved it (702)

On 02/04/2012 at 7:35pm - misc - by wetdreams - Canada (Alberta)

Today, our school chorus went to a senior citizens' home. An elderly lady died during my solo. FML

#18964784 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (12138) - you deserved it (1039)

On 01/31/2012 at 10:34pm - misc - by sorrygrandma - United States (Pennsylvania)