Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

vordhosbn

Offline (the 03/04/2015 at 2:58pm) | Search for a member

vordhosbn

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 8 March 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7032
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

vordhosbn's page activity

Visits<b>jwb8711</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 3:28pm<b>TheNiceOne</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 11:18pm<b>Aisuchu</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 12:36am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 3:32pm<b>mikaellikestacos</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 12:45pm<b>ShazzRandom</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 10:18pm<b>CAMAR0kid93</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 2:25pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:51pm<b>spanelli</b> - the 12/15/2010 at 11:40pm

vordhosbn's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of vordhosbn's badges

vordhosbn's favorite FMLs

Today, after several sleepless nights full of crying, I went to my university's free help center. After telling the psychologist my problems and asking what to do, he looked at me blankly and said, "Uh, it's not depression, I guess. You should go out more and, like, party some more." FML

#21367402
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25953) - you deserved it (2442)

On 03/03/2015 at 5:02pm - health - by Anonymous - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, I fell out of a window while trying to close it so no one would fall out. FML

#21366431
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27970) - you deserved it (3937)

On 03/02/2015 at 8:26am - misc - by meeeee! - United States (Delaware)

Today, my boss called me, furious about how I "never answer my phone", especially when important clients are trying to reach me, and how unprofessional I am. I make very sure to never miss any calls, my boss just keeps giving out the wrong number to people. FML

#21362364
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29386) - you deserved it (1656)

On 02/24/2015 at 5:19am - work - by O (woman) - Sweden

Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML

#21346857
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34144) - you deserved it (3166)

On 01/30/2015 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. The guy who picked up sounded drunk, told me to fuck off, and hung up. FML

#21342247
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39076) - you deserved it (3339)

On 01/22/2015 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a homeless guy tried to light my hair on fire with a match at the bus stop. FML

#21342118
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29286) - you deserved it (2215)

On 01/22/2015 at 5:40am - misc - by burningman (man) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, my dad was fixing my wardrobe and pushed too hard, causing stuff to fall from the top shelves. I saw it happen with my own eyes, but he's dead-set convinced that it was some kind of poltergeist fucking with him, and now he doesn't want me to go in my room. FML

#21338219
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26837) - you deserved it (2088)

On 01/16/2015 at 11:22am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML

#21334934
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28730) - you deserved it (2336)

On 01/11/2015 at 3:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I found my intoxicated step-father in our back yard trying to domesticate a stray opossum, attempting to give it steak and malt liquor. FML

#21334215
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26245) - you deserved it (1915)

On 01/09/2015 at 10:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to work and said hi to my boss. He reached towards me. I thought he was trying to give me a hug, so I awkwardly hugged him back. Turned out he was just trying to fix my shirt collar. FML

#21334002
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26531) - you deserved it (3770)

On 01/09/2015 at 4:17pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, one of my friends posted on Facebook saying if you're held up at an ATM, putting your PIN in backwards will alert the cops. I pointed out it's an urban legend, and asked how it'd work if their PIN was the same backwards. He drove over and beat the crap out of me. FML

#21332664
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34454) - you deserved it (5133)

On 01/07/2015 at 12:07pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I got reprimanded by my boss for saying "It's a stab in the dark, though." According to him, it's a euphemism for anal sex and I was being offensive to a gay colleague, the same one who kept insisting it was no problem. I got written up anyway. FML

#21330417
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30489) - you deserved it (2162)

On 01/04/2015 at 1:52am - work - by boss stabber (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML

#21310827
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35764) - you deserved it (3214)

On 12/03/2014 at 4:21pm - work - by WTF - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that if life gives you lemons, your sister is going to squeeze them over your face while you take a nap on the couch. FML

#21303546
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27973) - you deserved it (2175)

On 11/21/2014 at 9:00pm - misc - by ShutUp007 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I decided to give my boyfriend a surprise striptease. After I turned around, I heard him murmur "Oh, wow." I turned back around, only to find him watching a gif of a cat falling into snow in slow motion. FML

#21291260
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35711) - you deserved it (4137)

On 11/03/2014 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Dezzy - United States (Missouri)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: