vmarsbars

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vmarsbars

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 October 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5577
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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vmarsbars's page activity

Visits<b>brennen05</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 9:43am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 10:36pm<b>imerichello</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 12:58pm<b>jennlody</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 4:47pm<b>DippinGrizzly907</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 6:12am<b>XxWolfQueen</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 1:35am<b>vetgirl23</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 6:43pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 1:46pm<b>feevilmonkey</b> - the 05/14/2009 at 6:26pm<b>lsutiget1999</b> - the 05/07/2009 at 2:19pm<b>ness6</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 7:32pm<b>crazy_chickxoxo</b> - the 04/29/2009 at 4:32pm<b>username666</b> - the 04/25/2009 at 10:11pm<b>bymd</b> - the 03/19/2009 at 7:28pm<b>kerbearrr</b> - the 03/19/2009 at 6:43pm<b>asianpua</b> - the 03/03/2009 at 9:07am<b>blonde_moments</b> - the 02/19/2009 at 7:50pm

vmarsbars's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

vmarsbars's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking back to my home in the city in the dark. I'm paranoid, so when I saw movement behind me I clutched my mace. The faster I walked, the closer the person seemed to be. I spun around and sprayed my attacker with mace. It was my shadow and the wind blew the mace back into eyes. FML

by Eyesore / 04/16/2009 at 5:27pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, it was really windy and rainy causing me to trip and knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself, I apologized and patted the kid on its' head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn and look at the kid, and discover I've been interacting with a trash can. FML

by trashcanned / 04/06/2009 at 7:47am / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I was walking out of a Starbucks and saw someone walking out behind me, thinking it would be the nice thing to do I held the door open. I was holding the door for about 30 seconds before realizing I was holding the door for my own shadow. FML

by Anonymous / 04/06/2009 at 12:14am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea. In the middle of it, I noticed there was no more toilet paper nor paper towels remaining. The smallest bill in my wallet was a 5. I had to pay 10 dollars to wipe my own butt. FML

by highleyj / 04/01/2009 at 4:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2009 at 3:09pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was having lunch at a cafe. There was an attractive guy looking at me from another table. I smiled back and gave a little wink. A minute later he approached me. I introduced myself and asked if he wanted my number. He said, "Um, no but what are you eating? It looks really good" FML

by Samantha / 03/28/2009 at 10:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I saw a video in class about women aged 65+ and their sex lives. An elderly, blind woman was having sex at her senior's home. I don't know what's worse, watching an hour-long documentary on this, or the fact that these women are having way more sex than I am. FML

by notenoughsex / 03/19/2009 at 1:46am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was watching this TV show where a man was describing how much he loved this woman, how he made every opportunity to see her, and how he loved her in a way nobody else could. I smiled, because that's exactly the way I feel about my crush. Then I realized the program was about stalkers. FML

by bluten / 03/18/2009 at 12:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was with my grandma waiting in a line. She only speaks Chinese and there was a black man in front of us talking his phone. My grandma tells me that the black man's really loud and annoying. The man finishes and turns and said fluently in Chinese, "What's wrong with loud black men?" FML

by kaichennnxx / 03/16/2009 at 10:09pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was swimming in the ocean with my best friend and a giant wave came and knocked off the bottom of my bikini. My friend told me that she would go get another bottom so I could walk onto the very crowded beach. She left me for half an hour, laughing from the shore with her entire family. FML

by paymeinhugs / 03/16/2009 at 9:04pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss forgot her meeting with an official from the military base and called to ask me to handle it. The very cute Marine showed up that afternoon and we talked for an hour. After he left, I realized I had forgotten about the paper mustache I taped to my face for fun that morning. FML

by Jaeda / 03/12/2009 at 4:04pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids