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vlopez917

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vlopez917
  • Town/Country : Phoenix, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 January 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 85
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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vlopez917's favorite FMLs

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

#20163281
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37572) - you deserved it (4966)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

#20142294
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25560) - you deserved it (1535)

On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

#20110803
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24240) - you deserved it (3964)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I had a mild epileptic seizure. My mom's immediate reaction was not to comfort me or call for help, but to freak out over the fact that I'd spilled my glass of milk over the floor. FML

#19270777
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20271) - you deserved it (1297)

On 03/13/2012 at 12:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML

#18519378
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17252) - you deserved it (3862)

On 12/15/2011 at 12:30pm - misc - by Grubendol - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

#18095977
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20674) - you deserved it (3697)

On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I'd just finished cleaning the bathrooms at work when I saw a young boy go in. Of course, I thought nothing of it until I had to use the bathroom myself ten minutes later. The kid had taken a shit and missed the toilet completely. FML

#17029959
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24858) - you deserved it (1655)

On 07/08/2011 at 3:43pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my doctor put me on some extra strength antibiotics for an infection. On the label it says "WARNING: may cause Diarrhea"... 'may cause' is a funny term... this is the second time I've sharted in my pants today. FML

#8153486
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17391) - you deserved it (2522)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:11am - health - by NotSoSick (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML

#4995103
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11439) - you deserved it (37286)

On 09/02/2009 at 7:19am - intimacy - by keepsmiling - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I borrowed a van to move some of my furniture. I wasn't used to the brakes so when I stopped at a red light, I pretty much ended up in the cross walk. Suddenly I heard a loud thud at the side of the van. I turned to see what idiot would walk into a van. It was a blind man. FML

#174723
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10616) - you deserved it (38162)

On 03/01/2009 at 8:09pm - misc - by jazojigga (man) - United States (California)



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