vladimirnabokov

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Offline (the 12/22/2014 at 5:53am)

vladimirnabokov

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 11 April 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3690
  • Number of comments : 166
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About vladimirnabokov : I like key lime pie and talking.

vladimirnabokov's page activity

Visits<b>achoo123</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 10:30pm<b>draftskink</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 2:00am<b>mommy2cassidy</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 4:42pm<b>tbro47</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 2:29pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 10:25pm<b>pinkpig23</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 3:15pm<b>ImTheAlpha</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 9:02pm<b>SigridAa</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 6:23pm<b>tartar18</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 11:00am<b>cjwayy</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 8:18pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 7:00pm<b>gay_flavored_cx</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 2:23pm<b>DismissedOwl5</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 10:16am<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 3:43pm<b>inner_peace</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 7:58am<b>animalover9</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 11:38am<b>AnasMerchant</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 8:46am<b>RhineBl</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 10:40pm

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vladimirnabokov's favorite FMLs

Today, a customer left a Starbucks card in the tip jar at work. It was empty. I work at Starbucks. FML

Today, I was at a party. Trying to overcome my social anxiety, I was trying to take part in conversations. So, when a girl mentioned she had a doctor's appointment next morning, I blurted out: "What kind of a doctor?" Everyone stared as she responded: "A gynaecologist." FML

by cocacola999 / 05/03/2014 at 6:38am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, my neighbor asked to come over and use my laptop. She showed up drunk, grabbed my boobs, and asked if I'd ever had a lesbian experience. We both have husbands and kids; the kids were in the room. FML

by freakedout / 04/10/2014 at 10:32pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, my dad told me that I can't wear leggings on Friday nights, because, "your butt is too distracting for my poker buddies." FML

by JustClaire95 / 03/17/2014 at 7:58am / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mom baked a cake for the whole family. One spent EpiPen later, I found out there were nuts in it, which I'm severely allergic to. My mom's defense was that she thought I'd have "gotten over" my allergy by now. FML

by Anonymous / 11/16/2013 at 4:40pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, my boyfriend took me home for the first time. His place was covered in Insane Clown Posse stuff, even the toilet bowl. He's an undercover Juggalo. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2013 at 10:08pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, after making several comments about how I didn't exactly look thin, my boyfriend said, "Well, at least we know you'll look good pregnant." FML

by Cheer4Life / 11/11/2013 at 4:41pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, at a grocery store, a man came up to me while I was picking out apples and whispered in my ear, "That's how Snow White died." FML

by awkward / 11/06/2013 at 4:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, despite my fear of using public restrooms, I was forced to anyway to avoid my bladder exploding. I was finally getting over it when someone stuck their head under the stall to "see if someone's in there". I'm scared more now than I was before. FML

by s3xygrandpa / 11/06/2013 at 2:09pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, the guy I really like asked me if I'd like to go to a hockey game this weekend. I said I'd love to go, so he said, "Then you'd best get a ticket soon before they sell out." I still don't know if I have a date or not. FML

by Anonymous / 11/06/2013 at 12:29pm / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, like every other day, my daughter thinks that degrading skinny people is very "non-conformist" and "edgy". This time, though, a slightly slim girl punched her in the face when she accused her of being anorexic. Now people think I gave my daughter her new black eye. FML

by curvster daughter / 11/02/2013 at 2:46pm / United States / Kids

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML

by anna / 10/31/2013 at 2:27pm / United States (Mississippi) / Kids

Today, I found out my 13-year-old daughter thinks the showerhead got her pregnant. FML

by catfan / 10/30/2013 at 1:48am / United States (California) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was wearing a letterman jacket that had my school name and "Okinawa Japan" on the back. A high school kid walks up to me and says, "I can't forgive you people for bombing Pearl Harbor." I'm black. FML

by The_FN_Gunny / 10/29/2013 at 6:31pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm severely sunburned and can barely walk properly. My boyfriend keeps telling his friends that it's because of "how hard he gave it to me last night". FML

by snowwhite / 10/28/2013 at 12:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy