About vladimir26 : Ben Ban Quan
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Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6373) - you deserved it (23003)
On 03/07/2010 at 10:08pm - misc - by Numbnuts (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was rushed to the hospital because I was crying so hard I couldn't breathe. Why was I crying? My favorite anime character died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12379) - you deserved it (60225)
On 01/30/2010 at 3:54pm - misc - by Obsessed (woman) - United States (California)
Today, as I walked into my class, someone shouted at me, "Wild Snorlax Appeared! Use Your Ultra Balls!", since I am overweight and everyone in class laughed at me. I got made fun of by Pokémon nerds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27774) - you deserved it (5421)
On 01/19/2010 at 7:03pm - misc - by snorlax (man) - United States (California)
Today, I realized that I will never be able to buy the car I've wanted since middle school. The car? A greyish-silver Volvo, which is the make and color of car Kurt Cobain drove. The reason? I've been informed that it's also the make and color of the car that Edward Cullen drives in Twilight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26097) - you deserved it (7461)
On 01/10/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by coinoperatedgirl (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I got a haircut, and after thanking the stylist I went up front to pay. The lady behind the counter took one look at me, smiled and said "well, now you'll need a hat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18763) - you deserved it (1661)
On 01/07/2010 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I tried to get my girlfriend of nine months to have oral sex with me. She was eating a hot dog. She then said, "If you ask me again, this is what I'll do to you." She then bit the hot dog in half. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6395) - you deserved it (22109)
On 12/28/2009 at 5:16am - intimacy - by Dontworryaboutit (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10265) - you deserved it (25844)
On 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31856) - you deserved it (2160)
On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I was watching Pokémon with my daughter when she told me that I reminded her of her favorite Pokémon. Feeling good about it, I asked which one. She pointed to the screen and said "Snorlax!" The fat and lazy one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22948) - you deserved it (5711)
On 11/15/2009 at 8:45am - kids - by dessaye (woman) - Singapore
Today, I was teaching a ten year old how to play piano. Halfway through the lesson, she made a minor mistake, which, trying to be a good tutor, I corrected her. She smiled up at me, paused, then slammed the key cover down onto my fingers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29712) - you deserved it (2190)
On 11/10/2009 at 4:41pm - misc - by PiaNO (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, as I was waking up, I let out a huge morning fart. When I open my eyes, I realized that I was crashing at a friends place with four other people. Yep, they all heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8056) - you deserved it (3205)
On 11/07/2009 at 2:16am - misc - by munnyfish (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was sitting in my bed drinking Yoohoo from a juice box. I decided it would be fun to see how much I could fit in my mouth. As soon as my mouth was full, I sneezed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6603) - you deserved it (30924)
On 10/22/2009 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I moved out of my parents basement. After I hugged my parents I walked out the door only to remember I left my phone in the kitchen. I open the door and see my parents dancing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26742) - you deserved it (9853)
On 10/04/2009 at 4:31pm - misc - by neverStopLaughin - United States (Colorado)
Today, my fiancé was performing oral on me, when I heard him start making a "Waka waka waka waka" noise. He confessed to pretending to be Pacman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17247) - you deserved it (3500)
On 10/03/2009 at 9:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was at my friend's dorm eating supper. He and all his roommates are Chinese, and since I'm majoring in Chinese, I could understand what they were talking about. Too bad none of his friends knew that, and talked about banging me while I was sitting there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19843) - you deserved it (2401)
On 09/27/2009 at 11:16pm - intimacy - by NiHao (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Monday 20 May 2013
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