Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

vladimir26

Offline (the 12/11/2014 at 4:50am) | Search for a member

vladimir26

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1736
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 24 posted

About vladimir26 : Anime and Manga addict.
18 year old Otaku.
Book and tea lover.

vladimir26's page activity

Visits<b>RockyLovesARacer</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:12pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 7:18pm<b>bradix1186</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 2:48pm<b>vernk</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 1:23pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 10:24am<b>Orchard</b> - the 05/25/2013 at 6:51pm<b>NaN101</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 5:24am<b>JoeHallenbeck</b> - the 03/26/2013 at 11:17am

vladimir26's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of vladimir26's badges

vladimir26's favorite FMLs

Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML

#19575645
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8113) - you deserved it (26628)

On 05/05/2012 at 1:01am - animals - by lexii - United States

Today, I realized that both my husband and son refer to me as "the bitch." FML

#19510821
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17863) - you deserved it (25259)

On 04/22/2012 at 11:34am - misc - by stoggie96 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

#19506149
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42045) - you deserved it (3835)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon

Today, I was in the car with my daughter, when I narrowly missed hitting a car after running a stop sign. After she screamed at me and demanded to know what I was doing, I had to admit that I'd been daydreaming about David Bowie. FML

#19478782
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5338) - you deserved it (27888)

On 04/16/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by DJ Clitter (man) - United States

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

#19475030
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19212) - you deserved it (36782)

On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada

Today, a woman was staring at me. This went on for about five minutes until I couldn't take it anymore. I screamed at her to cut it out. It turns out she had a lazy eye. FML

#19472127
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8169) - you deserved it (29194)

On 04/15/2012 at 11:29am - misc - by Salvation711 - United States

Today, a guy asked me why I'm single. As a joke, I told him that not only do I have a penis, but that it's so large that most men are intimidated by it. He wasn't impressed. And I actually wonder why I'm single. FML

#19460491
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10324) - you deserved it (27158)

On 04/13/2012 at 9:11am - intimacy - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML

#19453436
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18300) - you deserved it (47513)

On 04/12/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by girly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was stopped and searched by a cop, and he quickly found the bag of weed in my pocket. He didn't arrest or fine me, but he did confiscate my weed and told me to "get lost." Pretty sure I just got legally mugged. FML

#19449472
464 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13940) - you deserved it (36340)

On 04/11/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by erockinthesuburb (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a serious conversation about our future. Somehow it turned into a 10-minute discussion about what time of day we usually take a crap. FML

#19440866
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19331) - you deserved it (5114)

On 04/10/2012 at 12:41am - love - by kellie1115 - United States (West Virginia)

Today, it's my 30th birthday. I was having a great night until I overheard my mother say, "I can't believe that thing made it to 30." FML

Today, I called my girlfriend saying "I think we need to break up." She said "No, I don't think so," and hung up. FML

#19387601
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16748) - you deserved it (30125)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:03am - love - by Jeff make - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML

#19350596
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27791) - you deserved it (4901)

On 03/26/2012 at 10:54am - kids - by ohhdear.___. (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML

#19277345
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10505) - you deserved it (32146)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm - misc - by zztopspinner (man) - United States

Today, I was debating if I actually do talk to myself. I was having this conversation with myself. FML

#19236548
96 comments


Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: