Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

vladimir26

Online | Search for a member

vladimir26

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2520
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 24 posted

About vladimir26 : Anime and Manga addict.
18 year old Otaku.
Book and tea lover.

vladimir26's page activity

Visits<b>RockyLovesARacer</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:12pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 7:18pm<b>bradix1186</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 2:48pm<b>vernk</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 1:23pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 10:24am<b>Orchard</b> - the 05/25/2013 at 6:51pm<b>NaN101</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 5:24am<b>JoeHallenbeck</b> - the 03/26/2013 at 11:17am

vladimir26's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of vladimir26's badges

vladimir26's favorite FMLs

Today, I was diagnosed with food poisoning for the third time since moving to this base in Japan. My husband keeps cooking questionable meat and vegetables from the commissary because he thinks the food from a Japanese grocery store is radioactive. FML

#21452616
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22001) - you deserved it (1690)

On 08/06/2015 at 4:33am - health - by ithinkimturningjapanese - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)

Today, my boyfriend gave me serious shit because I couldn't name 10 Pokémon. He said he even considered dumping me. Glad to know he has his priorities straight. FML

Today, I got hit in the face by a ping-pong ball. It hit me so hard, it burst a big zit on impact. FML

#21436170
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23240) - you deserved it (2730)

On 07/04/2015 at 2:25am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, while swimming under water, my 80-pound lab thought I was drowning and tried to "rescue" me by jumping in after me, wrapping his front legs around my neck, and standing on my chest. FML

#21429802
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22052) - you deserved it (1747)

On 06/21/2015 at 10:16pm - animals - by Angel (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was invited to a fancy-shmancy charity event, and the host - my friend - told me to wear a long, ballroom, fancy gown. Turns out my friend was just being a dick and it was a pool party. I spent $200 on my hair and makeup alone. FML

#21429755
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25900) - you deserved it (4381)

On 06/21/2015 at 8:50pm - misc - by ssondik - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was trying to sleep in the car, and when I went to rest my face on my fist, our car hit a bump and I ended up punching myself in the face. FML

#21429093
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22665) - you deserved it (3847)

On 06/20/2015 at 3:03pm - misc - by Bengemon825 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

#21428553
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30148) - you deserved it (12398)

On 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by shmarf (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML

#21428226
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29731) - you deserved it (3699)

On 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm - work - by fartypants - United States (Florida)

Today, my mother got heartburn. She claimed she only gets heartburn when she is near a pregnant woman. She threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't take a pregnancy test, despite there being no way I was pregnant. Turns out, I am pregnant, and my mother's ego has never been bigger. FML

#21427606
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30184) - you deserved it (8566)

On 06/17/2015 at 2:09pm - kids - by RecentCollegeGrad (woman) -

Today, I tried talking to my wife about our sexless marriage. Her only response was to toss me a sock and say "Knock yourself out, fuckstick." FML

#21422165
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28669) - you deserved it (3182)

On 06/07/2015 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I'm warning you: never spoon naked with your girlfriend after eating taco bell. The shartpocalypse just might begin in her ass and end on your stomach. FML

#21420039
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30205) - you deserved it (4303)

On 06/03/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML

Today, my mom told me I'm the reason she's going to kill herself one day. FML

#21414323
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27694) - you deserved it (2663)

On 05/23/2015 at 3:51am - kids - by DaoOfPow (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got a call from a really great company that I applied to work for, asking me to come in for an interview. When I went in, they had no appointment scheduled and no idea who I was. It turned out it was all a prank by my brother and his friends. My brother is 30. FML

#21413299
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28435) - you deserved it (1808)

On 05/20/2015 at 10:49pm - work - by stilljobless (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was feeling pretty, so I wore a skirt for the first time in years. Two hours later, my thighs hurt from slapping together so much. I no longer feel pretty. FML

#21407700
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29403) - you deserved it (4875)

On 05/10/2015 at 9:47am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: