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viper71's favorite FMLs
by FuckMyEyes / 12/25/2012 at 8:49pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, "Community" was pulled from its mid-season lineup, with plans to hopefully put it back on the schedule at some unknown time. It will probably be canceled. Meanwhile, "Whitney" is still on the air and doing fine. FML
by Anonymous / 11/15/2011 at 5:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML
by mom21 / 02/08/2011 at 12:46pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML
by justlittleoldme / 03/12/2010 at 8:17am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Love
by anonymous / 03/09/2010 at 1:43am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
by kal / 02/23/2010 at 11:28am / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Love
by chanclepants / 01/27/2010 at 8:35am / Intimacy
Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML
by sad_dad / 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by JohnB / 10/19/2009 at 8:43pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, my english teacher asked me why I didn't have my project completed. Thinking quick on my feet I told her it was because my grandmother had just passed away. Apparently they go to the same country club and have known each other for years. My teacher started crying and ran out of the room. FML
by Anonymous / 10/02/2009 at 5:07pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML
by wtfman101 / 08/28/2009 at 10:56am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I went with my fiancé to meet his parents. He was really sweet the whole way there, and once we got there he introduced me as 'the girl I'm going to marry'. His parents took one look at me and said, "Are you sure?" I laughed, because I thought they were joking. They weren't. FML
by kelizabeth / 08/05/2009 at 2:17pm / United States (Kansas) / Love
Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML
by re2K5 / 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm / Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto) / Money
Today, I was at the movies with my mom and dad, and the preview to my "My Sisters Keeper" came on. The trailer started out with "Most babies are accidents..." Right as that line was finished my mom elbowed me and laughed. FML
by A2 / 06/28/2009 at 2:12am / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML
by untitledentity / 05/24/2009 at 12:03pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…