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viper71

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viper71

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  • Number of visits : 327
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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viper71's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my sister plucking her nipples. A shame I didn't get a big fuck-off bottle of brain bleach for Christmas. FML

#20422121
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28447) - you deserved it (7613)

On 12/25/2012 at 8:49pm - intimacy - by FuckMyEyes (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, "Community" was pulled from its mid-season lineup, with plans to hopefully put it back on the schedule at some unknown time. It will probably be canceled. Meanwhile, "Whitney" is still on the air and doing fine. FML

#18253650
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23357) - you deserved it (6906)

On 11/15/2011 at 5:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML

Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML

#9019177
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28952) - you deserved it (6516)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:17am - love - by justlittleoldme (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He suddenly pulls away, and goes, 'OMNOMNOMNOM' then continues kissing me. FML

#8938821
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21130) - you deserved it (20255)

On 03/09/2010 at 1:43am - love - by anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, on Facebook, I joined a group called "I want our relationship to last." My boyfriend commented "I don't." FML

#8586322
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29169) - you deserved it (5892)

On 02/23/2010 at 11:28am - love - by kal (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML

#7609277
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42304) - you deserved it (11954)

On 01/27/2010 at 8:35am - intimacy - by chanclepants - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

#5974378
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33745) - you deserved it (8852)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that nothing kills a wet dream faster than a kitten who pounces on things that wiggle under the blanket. FML

#5903153
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21199) - you deserved it (3549)

On 10/19/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by JohnB (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my english teacher asked me why I didn't have my project completed. Thinking quick on my feet I told her it was because my grandmother had just passed away. Apparently they go to the same country club and have known each other for years. My teacher started crying and ran out of the room. FML

#5607225
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7968) - you deserved it (66113)

On 10/02/2009 at 5:07pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML

#4880765
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48985) - you deserved it (2252)

On 08/28/2009 at 10:56am - misc - by wtfman101 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went with my fiancé to meet his parents. He was really sweet the whole way there, and once we got there he introduced me as 'the girl I'm going to marry'. His parents took one look at me and said, "Are you sure?" I laughed, because I thought they were joking. They weren't. FML

#4309429
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45215) - you deserved it (2748)

On 08/05/2009 at 2:17pm - love - by kelizabeth (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML

#4029321
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45496) - you deserved it (26247)

On 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm - money - by re2K5 (man) - Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto)

Today, I was at the movies with my mom and dad, and the preview to my "My Sisters Keeper" came on. The trailer started out with "Most babies are accidents..." Right as that line was finished my mom elbowed me and laughed. FML

#3295379
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58621) - you deserved it (4510)

On 06/28/2009 at 2:12am - kids - by A2 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML

#2238808
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51197) - you deserved it (18261)

On 05/24/2009 at 12:03pm - misc - by untitledentity (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)



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