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violette

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violette
  • Town/Country : Australia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 4 September 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 355
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About violette : Hey there, name's Chloe.

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violette's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84224) - you deserved it (13912)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

#5724132
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40016) - you deserved it (2866)

On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML

#5292418
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18261) - you deserved it (88285)

On 09/16/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by sarahh38 (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend and I were starting to get in the mood. I get on top of him, lean down to kiss him, and he begins to laugh. Puzzled, I ask him why. He tells me that when I'm naked and on top of him, I remind him of a cow, with 'udders' . Offended, I go to get off. 'No no' he protests, 'a SEXY cow'. FML

#4936228
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28602) - you deserved it (4247)

On 08/30/2009 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by sigh (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend getting it on with the neighbour's daughter. As soon as he saw me, he started singing 'It Wasn't Me' by Shaggy, completely naked, still sitting with the girl. FML

#4933603
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51917) - you deserved it (4130)

On 08/30/2009 at 5:26pm - love - by shaggy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, we had bingo. Three rounds into it a group behind me started to yell, "BINGO, BINGO!". I looked around and saw no one was coming to verify that they had a bingo, so I turned around and said "Stand up." The girl was a midget, she was standing up. FML

#4838689
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32165) - you deserved it (12763)

On 08/26/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML

#4636801
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54826) - you deserved it (10824)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML

#4596913
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55361) - you deserved it (11850)

On 08/17/2009 at 9:50am - misc - by malebonding (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

#3919884
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79611) - you deserved it (5384)

On 07/21/2009 at 12:39am - intimacy - by fmjob (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML

#2736001
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76480) - you deserved it (4912)

On 06/09/2009 at 4:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting in Science class and to my surprise I felt my pants suddenly becoming warm and wet. I looked behind me to see that 4 boys from my class had inserted a small funnel into my exposed buttcrack and where pouring the melted butter from the experiment into that area. FML

#260451
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82188) - you deserved it (24199)

On 03/10/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Sarah - United Kingdom (Bolton)

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML

#126669
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (114784) - you deserved it (20783)

On 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)



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