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A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20536) - you deserved it (350979)
On 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by blovesg (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went to a club and my friends and I went up on the stage, then the security told me to get down and said the stage was only for girls. I'm 23. I'm a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53319) - you deserved it (5573)
On 03/29/2009 at 5:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)
Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83324) - you deserved it (23675)
On 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by SLA (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I fell asleep in the car on a 10+ hour trip with my family as soon as we got on the highway. When I woke up an hour later, I realized I'd had a wet dream. I had to sit next to my grandma with semen all over my thighs and boxers for the rest of the trip. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63146) - you deserved it (8249)
On 03/11/2009 at 8:30pm - misc - by MoneyMike (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
I agree, your life sucks (989817) - you deserved it (78783)
On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (55581) - you deserved it (323936)
On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went to a plastic surgeon's office with a friend. The doctor walked in and before he could look at the consult papers, he started explaining the lipo suction procedure to me. I had to interrupt him and tell him that I was only there for support for my friend's nose job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34825) - you deserved it (4013)
On 02/17/2009 at 4:53pm - health - by tigerfiend (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (177990) - you deserved it (61464)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, I lost 200 dollars while playing poker with my new sunglasses. Turns out you can see the cards in the reflection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9458) - you deserved it (59956)
On 02/16/2009 at 10:25am - misc - by jwz (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41704) - you deserved it (13988)
On 02/04/2009 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by PlayTag (man) - United States (California)
Today, my mother called to say that my 11 year old nephew found my secret stash of nipple tassles, furry hand cuffs, and a bottle of lube. He doesn't want to visit me anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7359) - you deserved it (18905)
On 02/03/2009 at 1:51am - kids - by peneloperigby (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, my boyfriend told me in a very natural way that my mother is better at sex than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60857) - you deserved it (2826)
On 12/05/2008 at 3:12am - intimacy - by Mak1 - Belgium (Brabant)
Today, my girlfriend told me that I was irrationally jealous. I’ve just learnt that she has a website where she masturbates in front of a webcam. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45008) - you deserved it (2282)
On 12/01/2008 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Maestro - Sent from mobile version
Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30912) - you deserved it (14483)
On 11/14/2008 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Kaji - Sent from mobile version
Today, I took advantage of the fact that my wife was sleeping to watch a porn film on my computer. I put headphones on so that she wouldn't hear. It wasn't until she came out of her bedroom that I realised I hadn't plugged them in properly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6456) - you deserved it (36899)
On 11/13/2008 at 5:31am - intimacy - by Skylan - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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