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Today, I found out the hot girl I'd been flirting with on Facebook is actually 3 10-year-olds who created a fake profile to see how many desperate losers would try to hook up with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9190) - you deserved it (48851)
On 08/09/2009 at 7:54pm - misc - by pwndbykidz (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was picking my daughter up at day care. She was outside playing kick ball. A red ball rolls over to me, and trying to impress the kids, I kicked it over the slide. I turn around to see three crying six year olds. It was their hamster ball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24478) - you deserved it (65195)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I went to a bookstore and asked the sales woman,"Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14461) - you deserved it (37843)
On 08/04/2009 at 12:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by one. I was last and I was the smallest. I was also the only Asian amongst my friends. They now call me "the stereotype". FML
I agree, your life sucks (34502) - you deserved it (20376)
On 07/30/2009 at 10:21am - intimacy - by verysadasian (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up. The first thing was"Best positions for a small penis." FML
I agree, your life sucks (73905) - you deserved it (9460)
On 07/12/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by wtf (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because she wants to "become" a lesbian. I also learned that she's coming to my house for dinner tonight. My sister is her date. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58042) - you deserved it (3204)
On 07/05/2009 at 12:46pm - love - by fd_uplife (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6219) - you deserved it (87398)
On 06/27/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by notinflammable (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, in the shower, a dime fell on my foot. The only place it could have come from? One of my fat rolls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24812) - you deserved it (60113)
On 06/23/2009 at 10:37pm - health - by FattyMcFatterson (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, after buying the plane ticket to Glendale, CA to visit 17 year old Courtney who I met on a dating website, she called me for the first time to say that she was actually 19 year old Seth from Atlanta, GA. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11114) - you deserved it (68445)
On 06/15/2009 at 1:42am - love - by gabe8 (man) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65917) - you deserved it (163237)
On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had organised to go for an all day fishing trip, but had forgotten to book a day off. I called my boss and told him that I had to stay with my mum in hospital after a car crash that she had last night. He called me a liar and fired me. Turns out my mum is having an affair with my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53754) - you deserved it (12787)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:32am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, I finally beat the song "Through the Fire and Flames" on Guitar Hero 3. I then realized that it was the biggest accomplishment I've ever made in my entire life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42601) - you deserved it (27493)
On 05/13/2009 at 6:20pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was walking to class with my roommate. She didn't notice the car coming up behind her because her headphones were in. As I pulled her out of the way, she thought I was goofing around and shoved me back... in front of the car. I got hit and rolled off the hood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (94073) - you deserved it (3723)
On 05/07/2009 at 3:11pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Toscana)
Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14 year old boy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (76045) - you deserved it (203439)
On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)
Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30745) - you deserved it (75106)
On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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