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Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23221) - you deserved it (4128)
On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States
Today, my wife and I almost got a divorce over a game of Yahtzee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21638) - you deserved it (13071)
On 08/07/2011 at 5:44pm - love - by Username - United States
Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43321) - you deserved it (7600)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24105) - you deserved it (11434)
On 07/28/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27018) - you deserved it (6252)
On 07/26/2011 at 12:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45958) - you deserved it (5587)
On 07/23/2011 at 8:09pm - misc - by assante2010 - United States (Maine)
Today, I realized that the guy I've been sending anonymous, dirty emails to knows who I am. My signature, which includes my full name, was automatically added to the end of every email. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7402) - you deserved it (56900)
On 07/22/2011 at 9:10pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I asked the girl I like to send me 'yummy pictures.' I got a picture of cheesecake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8459) - you deserved it (71709)
On 07/22/2011 at 2:29am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35253) - you deserved it (7732)
On 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm - love - by toni405 - United States
Today, my mom took me to an AA meeting because she said I needed help. I have never tried alcohol in my life, and told them this. I was then harangued by the "instructor" because apparently one of the signs of alcoholism is denial. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26835) - you deserved it (1961)
On 07/21/2011 at 10:10am - health - by blah (man) - United States
Today, my girlfriend's overprotective parents decided that I'm a bad influence on their daughter. I'm a straight A engineering student who openly speaks out against drugs, alcohol, and discrimination. Their reason? Someone told them I dyed my hair black. They think I'm a "closet Nazi". FML
I agree, your life sucks (34858) - you deserved it (2799)
On 07/21/2011 at 12:10am - love - by rbeast (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my family is on the third day of driving cross country. My husband is still pretending he is driving on a NASCAR track, sound effects and all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18415) - you deserved it (2950)
On 07/20/2011 at 4:18pm - misc - by Stacy Dee - United States
Today, while in line at a gas station, I felt something on my shoulder. I turned around only to see a woman behind me pulling the sunburnt skin off my shoulder. When I told her to stop, she yelled, hit me with her purse and ran off crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37091) - you deserved it (2676)
On 07/20/2011 at 9:38am - misc - by therundown - United States (Ohio)
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11498) - you deserved it (46621)
On 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I walked in on my father and brother attempting to harmonize their farts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25497) - you deserved it (3982)
On 07/14/2011 at 4:09pm - misc - by Username - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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