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A new Thumb
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Judgmental
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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35334) - you deserved it (11293)
On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29491) - you deserved it (7949) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version
Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26487) - you deserved it (27834)
On 07/15/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by oops - United States
Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6815) - you deserved it (31954)
On 06/24/2012 at 5:45pm - kids - by :( (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11019) - you deserved it (37280) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote: "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10359) - you deserved it (34460)
On 04/23/2012 at 6:06pm - misc - by pathetic (man) - Poland (Mazowieckie)
Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20224) - you deserved it (7078)
On 04/06/2012 at 10:26pm - misc - by Tanner - United States (Oregon)
Today, I realized that the "holla" tattoo I stupidly got on my lower lip five years ago isn't fading as I expected it to, and will probably contribute to my unemployment for years to come. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4013) - you deserved it (47286)
On 03/30/2012 at 3:13pm - work - by bananamuffin - United States
Today, I was chatting to a nice girl at the mall, and I said if she didn't get a raise, I would write to the management. She said they have no email address, and I replied that I meant an actual letter. "Like, on paper?" she said, "Damn, how old are ya, pops?" I want a ticket off this planet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19428) - you deserved it (2155)
On 03/14/2012 at 11:17am - misc - by S. Michaels (man) - United States
Today, I discovered that for the last six months my mother has been leaving my TV on FOX while I sleep, in the hope that my subconscious will absorb it and turn me into "a morally-upright human being". FML
I agree, your life sucks (21899) - you deserved it (3374)
On 12/16/2011 at 5:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40115) - you deserved it (4002)
On 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)
Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21903) - you deserved it (23026)
Today, I found out that the double spacing format in an essay refers to the space between each line, not the words. I've been pressing the space bar twice between each word all through high school and halfway through college. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9647) - you deserved it (57028)
On 09/24/2011 at 2:47pm - misc - by essay2 - United States (California)
Today, I had a science test. A question asked, "What is the first stage of photosynthesis?" I didn't know, so just trying to be light-hearted, I wrote, "The plant must first believe in itself." My teacher didn't think it was funny, and gave me detention for insulting her intelligence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18447) - you deserved it (10544)
On 09/22/2011 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23424) - you deserved it (6436)
On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 17 June 2013
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