vikingsocks

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vikingsocks

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 79
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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vikingsocks's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

by ugh / 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML

by hailey / 12/10/2012 at 12:10am / United States (Maryland) / Money

Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML

by anon / 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I showed off my new tattoo to my friends. Too bad it says "Walk Earless" now instead of "Walk Fearless." That's right, I'm now supporting Van Gogh. FML

by inked / 02/05/2012 at 12:54am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

by MLGreco / 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm / United States / Kids

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2011 at 3:42am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, while I was sleeping, my girlfriend took my phone and set the ringtone to a bloodcurdling scream. I found this out when I received a call while driving to work and, thinking someone was being murdered in my backseat, I panicked and swerved into a parked car. FML

by iscreamforicecream / 06/01/2011 at 7:53am / United States (Arizona) / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML

by GirlishMan1883897 / 07/24/2010 at 6:53am / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML

by zzdug / 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML

by Noname / 03/17/2009 at 6:16am / United States (California) / Intimacy