This member hasn't filled in the description.
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I was making tea when I smelled something burning. My very fluffy cat had put his tail right next to the open flame and burnt his fur. Now I have a semi-hairless cat and a very smelly apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35572) - you deserved it (5914)
On 05/07/2013 at 10:18am - animals - by AussieG75 (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54418) - you deserved it (4702)
On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States
Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45304) - you deserved it (5503)
On 04/30/2013 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68544) - you deserved it (3075)
On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States
Today, I saw a woman in the neighbouring apartment taking a shower without pulling the blinds of her bathroom window. As a good Samaritan, I waved my arms to attract her attention that she forgot the blinds. She noticed me, opened the window, did a weird boob dance and middle fingered me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35650) - you deserved it (12253)
On 04/21/2013 at 10:56pm - misc - by Magicali (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I realized how tiny my apartment is, when I was able to vacuum from bedroom to bathroom through the living room without switching the power outlet from the one in the kitchen. I pay a fortune to live in this shoebox. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36053) - you deserved it (8325)
On 04/20/2013 at 4:22pm - money - by citylife - United States
Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34975) - you deserved it (15527)
On 04/06/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by Evalynne - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40367) - you deserved it (3821)
On 04/03/2013 at 9:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I was babysitting, and after the kids fell asleep I started hiding the Easter candy. They woke up when I was half-done, and it didn't take them long to figure out what was going on. They won't stop crying, and every time I go near them, they scream "LIAR!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26747) - you deserved it (4997)
On 04/01/2013 at 12:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36175) - you deserved it (2250)
On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)
Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38487) - you deserved it (16823)
On 03/11/2013 at 7:33am - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I woke to find my laptop and printer covered in what smells like pee. My boyfriend then confessed to me that he occasionally "sleep-pees". It's like sleepwalking, but where he urinates on random objects. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25935) - you deserved it (1660)
On 03/11/2013 at 12:09am - misc - by marcymoo - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36091) - you deserved it (7332)
On 03/10/2013 at 9:40am - intimacy - by cremyfrozentreat - United States (Florida)
Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30189) - you deserved it (6124)
On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30021) - you deserved it (1845)
On 02/18/2013 at 7:26pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
