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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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vgman88

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vgman88
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 312
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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vgman88's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on for a party. I'm currently in a hospital, dressed as a chicken, waiting for medical assistance. FML

#19046512 (144)

I agree, your life sucks (5232) - you deserved it (891)

On 02/11/2012 at 5:19am - animals - by lulu - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got to listen while my grandma, who has dementia and therefore a poor memory, explained to me why the old man on TV was a sex god. She forgot everything once she said it. I got to listen to her explanation five times over. FML

#18942178 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (6425) - you deserved it (587)

On 01/29/2012 at 11:23am - misc - by scared for life (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML

#18913819 (207)

I agree, your life sucks (19341) - you deserved it (2521)

On 01/26/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by RequilaRainbow - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

#18744677 (323)

I agree, your life sucks (30771) - you deserved it (28045)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had tried, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injured squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl and smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML

#18570075 (284)

I agree, your life sucks (8983) - you deserved it (622)

On 12/21/2011 at 1:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after explaining to my two year old that we were going bra shopping, he decided to announce to the entire bank that we were going to buy Mommy some boobies. FML

#18561778 (194)

I agree, your life sucks (12110) - you deserved it (14928)

On 12/20/2011 at 1:59pm - kids - by imamomma - United States

Today, I dropped my 7-year-old son off at school. He decided to have fun and step out of my car screaming "Stranger danger" while running away and pointing at me. I then had to get out of my car to shut the door he'd left wide open. This caused 20 other kids to scream "Stranger danger" as well. FML

#18551732 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (21228) - you deserved it (1722)

On 12/19/2011 at 7:24am - kids - by dealingdave - United States (Missouri)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at work, and was told to clean up the urine that a child had left down the slide inside the play place. While in the slide, another little kid peed on my head. FML

#18538451 (88)

I agree, your life sucks (8482) - you deserved it (681)

On 12/17/2011 at 7:19pm - work - by kellb123 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML

#18519378 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (6760) - you deserved it (1435)

On 12/15/2011 at 12:30pm - misc - by Grubendol - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I went to eat the orange I'd brought to work, but couldn't find it. After minutes searching, I found it. Nailed to the ceiling. FML

#18517264 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (8003) - you deserved it (783)

On 12/15/2011 at 1:57am - work - by Username - United States (California)

Today, after getting rear ended by a car, I texted my husband to let him know I was in the hospital. His response? "I'm at Taco Bell." FML

#18515573 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (20579) - you deserved it (1968)

On 12/14/2011 at 10:34pm - misc - by Mariah Heimann - United States (Illinois)

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913 (15)

I agree, your life sucks (2775) - you deserved it (24244)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

#18464488 (224)

I agree, your life sucks (5326) - you deserved it (47819)

On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I rubbed my face in my armpit stubble because it felt like my ex-boyfriend's face. FML

#18342381 (263)

I agree, your life sucks (3648) - you deserved it (12381)

On 11/24/2011 at 10:51pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML

#18342108 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (8792) - you deserved it (641)

On 11/24/2011 at 10:12pm - misc - by hannahlorraine - United States