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Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33511) - you deserved it (7833)
On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML
I agree, your life sucks (27538) - you deserved it (3118)
On 02/20/2013 at 7:01am - kids - by Laila - United States
Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22591) - you deserved it (4245)
On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the n-word. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31839) - you deserved it (6274)
On 02/14/2013 at 11:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I went to the market to buy some groceries. Before I got even half-way home, a guy stormed toward me, pulled what looked like a knife, and chased me around the block while screaming that he'd kill me for sleeping with his wife. Nope, still a 15-year-old virgin here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28217) - you deserved it (1300)
On 02/14/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Saudi Arabia (Ash Sharqiyah)
Today, I've been living in Kenya in a nasty apartment for so long that when I looked down into my drink and saw a dead fly, I just picked it out and continued drinking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24078) - you deserved it (3454)
Today, I was super hungry and went to a Thai restaurant. The waitress left two small bowls of fried rice on the counter, and I thought they were for me. I ate one and a lady came over screaming. Apparently the small cups of rice was part of a religious ceremony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20602) - you deserved it (12240)
On 02/12/2013 at 3:04am - misc - by Thai rice mistake - United States (California)
Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8476) - you deserved it (23934)
On 02/11/2013 at 9:30pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I came home from a two-week vacation. When I walked into my house, I found cat poop everywhere. It took me several hours to clean it all up, and the house still smells terrible. The worst part is that I've never owned a cat in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26377) - you deserved it (1196)
On 02/09/2013 at 8:39pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, I watched The Passion of the Christ with my girlfriend. She kept scoffing at what she called the "historical inaccuracies", and actually tried to convince me that Hitler killed Jesus. When I corrected her, she looked at me, mouth agape, as if I was insane. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24795) - you deserved it (3250)
On 02/08/2013 at 7:44pm - love - by and she doesn't even give bjs (man) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)
Today, while using a public restroom to change my tampon, I made eye contact with someone looking at me through the little space in the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33808) - you deserved it (1505)
On 02/07/2013 at 4:51am - misc - by fviz (woman) - United States
Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23918) - you deserved it (3035)
On 02/06/2013 at 8:59am - animals - by DogLover (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30059) - you deserved it (2191)
On 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm - misc - by Experience (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my co-worker told me that I need to quit smoking because it was making me look and smell horrible. I've never smoked in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22447) - you deserved it (2417)
On 02/04/2013 at 7:42pm - health - by Mattrd - United States
Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45216) - you deserved it (2511)
On 02/04/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Monday 20 May 2013
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