vengeance501

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Offline (the 06/10/2016 at 4:16am)

vengeance501

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 20 December 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1565
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About vengeance501 : Hey,

My name is Nick and I'm 16 years old. I like to read FML's for a good laugh and when I'm bored.

I live in Good ol' Canadia, eh. I like Hip-Hop and Rock. The movie Kick-Ass kicked ass. And Parkour is awesome. Msg me, I'm always up for a good convo. :D

vengeance501's page activity

Visits<b>FML_HelloItsMe</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 3:31pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 12:36pm<b>goldengirlsfan</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 1:20am<b>dmo4</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 11:21am<b>konan__</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 4:09am<b>PoisonedIce</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 4:58pm<b>Caroline1812</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 9:45am<b>max367</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 5:55pm<b>reezy123</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 4:26am<b>papygeorges</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 3:18pm<b>silkyred</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 10:10pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 2:17pm<b>buonotomato</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 8:50pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 4:08am<b>Cynt3r</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 7:15pm<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 5:03am<b>BicBoi996</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 2:30am<b>Ltsdragons</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 10:12am

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 6:36pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 8:18pm

vengeance501's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of vengeance501's badges

vengeance501's favorite FMLs

Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML

by Anonymous / 04/30/2014 at 5:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend bought a onesie. He sleeps in it, goes out in it and won't take it off, not even for sex. FML

by BabeWithBrains / 12/08/2013 at 2:01pm / United States (Wyoming) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2013 at 6:56am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, with my name sounding vaguely like 'Turkey' and being in the phonebook for business purposes, people keep calling, offering to stuff me for Thanksgiving. FML

by NotTellingYouMyName / 11/28/2013 at 1:26am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, at the pool, a kid no older than 8 was sitting on the diving board, not letting anyone else use it. I went over and tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. My uncle stormed over, said "I got this!" and punted him over the edge. We both got thrown out for "bullying" the kid. FML

by JuggaloSlasher15 / 08/08/2013 at 7:03pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, in the middle of examining me, my gynecologist suddenly took a sharp intake of breath and vomited on the floor. FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2013 at 7:10am / Latvia (Jelgavas) / Health

Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML

by hardee fucking har yourself, sir / 08/07/2013 at 6:00pm / United Kingdom (Stockport) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend and his friends. When I stood up, he told his friend "See, she's not a twig!" I jokingly replied with, "So I'm fat?" After a few seconds of silence, his friend yelled, "It's a trap!" and left the chat. FML

by ImNotFat / 08/07/2013 at 2:04am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world. I'm scared. FML

by Anonymous / 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm / Poland (Kujawsko-Pomorskie) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML

by Notaplacetogo / 02/17/2013 at 1:45am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

by nekkidness / 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandmother saw me for the first time in years. "Not all your clothes have to be as tight as condoms, you tramp," is probably the nicest greeting she's ever given me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2012 at 7:58am / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML

by bunnyluver4545 / 01/11/2012 at 12:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy