velvel

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velvel

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8234
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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velvel's page activity

Visits<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 10:04am<b>biggredd75</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 10:50pm<b>lungjiao</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 2:31pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 10:42pm<b>jazzybrar</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 10:54am<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 4:13pm<b>just_a_person9</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 5:13pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 7:19pm<b>shebewoofle</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 11:46pm<b>mistykitten</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 11:10am<b>ratman775</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 7:05pm<b>KabamWolf</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 11:17am<b>WordBea</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 2:55pm<b>ahmadmuneer</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 12:31am<b>Dangerousreaper</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 3:11am<b>XmasaX</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 5:04pm<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 1:48pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 2:04pm

Fucked!<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 4:05pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 7:05pm

velvel's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of velvel's badges

velvel's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up and stepped out of bed right into a pile of dog crap. Acting quickly, I jumped on to my other foot, which would have been a great idea, except for this morning there were two piles. FML

by unknown / 02/04/2011 at 3:11am / Animals

Today, as I was walking home, I passed some little girls who threw a bunch of snowballs at me. I dodged every single one, ran away laughing, and gave them the finger. I then ran into a snowman. FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2011 at 12:19am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I got into a car accident. Why? I was distracted by a floating spec of dust and was pretending I was in space. FML

by moxy / 01/24/2011 at 10:00am / Transportation

Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2011 at 12:40am / Egypt / Animals

Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I beat her. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm / France / Health

Today, I was working in a restaurant. I stopped to pick up some silverware a customer dropped. Apparently my belt wasn't tight enough because a woman behind me immediately hurled in disgust. On top of being found revolting, I'm now in trouble for "flashing" someone. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2011 at 1:45am / United States / Work

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

by Anonymous / 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and badly needed to pee. Just as I was about to say I had to go to the bathroom, my boyfriend suddenly put his hands around my stomach and picked me up. He hit just the right spot, causing me to empty my bladder then and there. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2010 at 2:03pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Health

Today, for the first time, a good looking guy was in my yoga class. Today also marked the first time I farted during yoga class. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2010 at 8:05am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, my husband ran at me, groaning like a zombie. I was so startled that I screamed, punched him, and started sobbing. Now he won't talk to me because this is 'the first step on the road of domestic violence'. FML

by katybaby / 12/09/2010 at 12:15pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I found out that even if you have to go really bad, never burst into a bathroom stall assuming that it's vacant because you don't see any legs underneath. There might be a child in there, who will scream, and whose mother will burst in and start screaming at you for being a "pedo." FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2010 at 9:55pm / United States / Kids

Today, I was sitting in a parked car. A woman was having difficulties maneuvering out. She honked the horn repeatedly for me to move, then looked me in the eye and called me a "f**king bitch", before driving off. I was in the passenger seat. FML

by agstadra / 12/08/2010 at 10:24am / Canada / Transportation

Today, I went into labor with my first child, and as much as I pleaded, I had to wait for my husband to finish his raid in World of Warcraft before he'd take me to the hospital. FML

by newmother / 12/05/2010 at 8:38am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML

by Anonymous / 12/01/2010 at 12:11am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy

Today, I went shopping with my parents. Halfway through, I got separated from them and tried to call them only to find out my cell phone battery was flat. A few minutes later, an announcement was made for a lost child. It was by my parents. I'm 36. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2010 at 2:35am / Singapore / Miscellaneous