velvel

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velvel

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8507
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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velvel's page activity

Visits<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 3:49pm<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 10:04am<b>biggredd75</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 10:50pm<b>lungjiao</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 2:31pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 10:42pm<b>jazzybrar</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 10:54am<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 4:13pm<b>just_a_person9</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 5:13pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 7:19pm<b>shebewoofle</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 11:46pm<b>mistykitten</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 11:10am<b>ratman775</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 7:05pm<b>KabamWolf</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 11:17am<b>WordBea</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 2:55pm<b>ahmadmuneer</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 12:31am<b>Dangerousreaper</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 3:11am<b>XmasaX</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 5:04pm<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 1:48pm

Fucked!<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 4:05pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 7:05pm

velvel's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of velvel's badges

velvel's favorite FMLs

Today, I subbed for a first grade class. They were releasing butterflies. Butterflies scare me shitless. A bunch of 7 year-olds watched as I screamed hysterically when one landed on me. FML

by mottephobe / 04/06/2011 at 2:22am / United States (Utah) / Animals

Today, I was at a local talent show and during a piano performance I had to go to the bathroom. I sang along in the bathroom but was unaware how loud I was until I walked out and everyone started applauding me while the pianist was still playing. FML

by American idol / 04/06/2011 at 2:19am / Miscellaneous

Today, I wore my cheerleading uniform to my boyfriend's house. He was a nerd in high school and mentioned a fantasy about hooking up with a cheerleader. I started acting sassy and a little mean, figuring he would enjoy a more realistic experience. Apparently not, because he started to cry. FML

by oc_cheergirl / 04/05/2011 at 10:32pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

by dickface / 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

by omg / 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I flipped out when I saw a centipede. I screamed, very loudly and in a very high voice. My girlfriend came into the room, stomped on it, picked it up and threw it in the trashcan. I apologized to her for the scene and all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML

by thenotsomanlyman / 03/07/2011 at 11:17am / United States / Animals

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2011 at 6:22am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I went to Victoria's Secret to get fitted for a new bra since mine weren't fitting properly. To my amazement, I wasn't a 32A, but a 32AA. I might as well have craters on my chest. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2011 at 5:09pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my son's high school play. The moment I arrived at the auditorium, I shouted out his name to let him know I made it. Thinking I was a student, a teacher yelled, "SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!" Scared out of my mind, I quickly obeyed, to mass giggling from the kids. FML

by Annie / 02/24/2011 at 1:39am / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, I was in bed, about to fall asleep, when I remembered something funny. While trying not to laugh, I started grunting and biting my lip, when suddenly my brother walked by my door. He refuses to believe that I wasn't masturbating. FML

by afafakfhsg / 02/18/2011 at 7:19pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

by bride / 02/14/2011 at 1:24am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML

by Katrina / 02/13/2011 at 5:32pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML

by Katrina / 02/13/2011 at 5:32pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML

by Katrina / 02/13/2011 at 5:32pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML

by Katrina / 02/13/2011 at 5:32pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy