Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

velvel

Search for a member

velvel

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6222
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

velvel's page activity

Visits<b>DBKT</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 5:05pm<b>Regem_Arcana</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 2:50pm<b>guineagirl</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 5:33pm<b>Leo619</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 10:02am<b>Snackycake</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 7:24pm<b>arianenv</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 2:30am<b>Rallred32</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 9:52pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 10:42am<b>imshadyxo</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 4:30am<b>thebeast74</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 1:26pm<b>guru_nanak51</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 12:28am<b>vb68</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 12:10am<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 2:57am<b>RadikulRam</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 5:08pm<b>hnasr</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 8:56pm<b>JessicaPf</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 11:29pm<b>maxinne</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 11:49pm<b>andiboo</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 1:36am

velvel's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of velvel's badges

velvel's favorite FMLs

Today, I signed up for an online dating site. In order to prove I was human and complete my registration, I had to pass a CAPTCHA. Coincidentally enough, the words in it were "depressed" and "loser". FML

#16515986
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29707) - you deserved it (7032)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:31pm - love - by Jakub89 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I bought a dog to make me feel less lonely. He ran away. FML

#16512093
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51530) - you deserved it (7464)

On 06/05/2011 at 8:23am - love - by Loveless - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I thought it would be hot if I sent my boyfriend kinky message. He didn't reply so I sent a few more. 10 minutes later I got a reply saying, "Honey, this is his mom and you should be a little less desperate." FML

#16510507
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19913) - you deserved it (51891)

On 06/05/2011 at 3:23am - intimacy - by yup - United States (Washington)

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

#16507836
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50932) - you deserved it (5371)

On 06/05/2011 at 12:14am - love - by longlostkid556 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that if I don't give my mom attention immediately after she calls my name, she will throw a baseball at me. FML

#16504841
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30797) - you deserved it (9971)

On 06/04/2011 at 9:10pm - misc - by wooowmom (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, when I weighed myself on my scale, it broke. FML

#16417126
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33672) - you deserved it (26474)

On 05/30/2011 at 12:12pm - misc - by trev - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was walking through town when a rough looking woman asked me for a cigarette. I don't smoke but I offered her some apples, and she took two. As I continued on past her, she pegged both of them at me, hitting the back of my head. FML

#16413890
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34790) - you deserved it (10611)

On 05/30/2011 at 4:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend in a crowded mall. I thought this was a good idea, until she went ballistic, began screaming and crying, and then stabbed me in the stomach with a ballpoint pen. I got banned from the mall. FML

#16411283
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21755) - you deserved it (48238)

On 05/30/2011 at 12:29am - love - by kingpin9219 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was catching the bus to my new job. While waiting at the lights, I decided to play the staring game and ended up staring at a woman in the car next to the bus for ages, really creeping her out. It turns out she's my new boss. FML

#16408581
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10345) - you deserved it (44113)

On 05/29/2011 at 9:45pm - work - by milkymoo (woman) - Cyprus

Today, I was working at a retirement center, when an old woman came to me and asked if I would like her old clothes. I politely said, "I'm sorry, but I'm a guy." She then said, "You could have just said no, instead of rudely lying to me." FML

#16380790
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34282) - you deserved it (4031)

On 05/28/2011 at 12:09am - misc - by Imaman - United States (Virginia)

Today, I saw a hot guy at the laundromat. Wanting an excuse to talk to him, I tossed a pair of my red underwear into his washer. What I didn't realize was that he was washing his whites. Thanks to me, he now has an entire load of pink shirts and boxers. FML

#16374822
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7637) - you deserved it (70491)

On 05/27/2011 at 4:52pm - love - by nicole - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found out my mom intentionally puts extra butter and oil in the food she cooks for me because she wants me to be fatter than her. FML

#16355568
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53198) - you deserved it (3375)

On 05/26/2011 at 10:24am - health - by fatteningmeup (woman) - United States

Today, my mom asked if I was seeing anyone. I launched into a description of my girlfriend, only for her to interrupt, saying that she meant a therapist, and the fact that I'd just made up a relationship was further proof that I needed one. I really do have a girlfriend. FML

#16353801
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38992) - you deserved it (3396)

On 05/26/2011 at 3:53am - love - by lovingpsychosis - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, I was texting at work when my manager walked in. I quickly dropped my phone in the garbage to avoid trouble. Since I was working so hard, she decided to do me a favor and throw the trash out for me. FML

#16352403
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9248) - you deserved it (49510)

On 05/26/2011 at 1:04am - work - by explosiveBAM - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML

#16126147
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60965) - you deserved it (4749)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:17am - intimacy - by Chels (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: