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velvel

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velvel
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5428
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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velvel's favorite FMLs

Today, I signed up for an online dating site. In order to prove I was human and complete my registration, I had to pass a CAPTCHA. Coincidentally enough, the words in it were "depressed" and "loser". FML

#16515986
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28088) - you deserved it (6859)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:31pm - love - by Jakub89 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I bought a dog to make me feel less lonely. He ran away. FML

#16512093
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45305) - you deserved it (5792)

On 06/05/2011 at 8:23am - love - by Loveless - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I thought it would be hot if I sent my boyfriend kinky message. He didn't reply so I sent a few more. 10 minutes later I got a reply saying, "Honey, this is his mom and you should be a little less desperate." FML

#16510507
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16877) - you deserved it (39585)

On 06/05/2011 at 3:23am - intimacy - by yup - United States (Washington)

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

#16507836
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44231) - you deserved it (4189)

On 06/05/2011 at 12:14am - love - by longlostkid556 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that if I don't give my mom attention immediately after she calls my name, she will throw a baseball at me. FML

#16504841
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26940) - you deserved it (9479)

On 06/04/2011 at 9:10pm - misc - by wooowmom (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, when I weighed myself on my scale, it broke. FML

#16417126
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32043) - you deserved it (25531)

On 05/30/2011 at 12:12pm - misc - by trev - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was walking through town when a rough looking woman asked me for a cigarette. I don't smoke but I offered her some apples, and she took two. As I continued on past her, she pegged both of them at me, hitting the back of my head. FML

#16413890
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32889) - you deserved it (10167)

On 05/30/2011 at 4:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend in a crowded mall. I thought this was a good idea, until she went ballistic, began screaming and crying, and then stabbed me in the stomach with a ballpoint pen. I got banned from the mall. FML

#16411283
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20107) - you deserved it (45918)

On 05/30/2011 at 12:29am - love - by kingpin9219 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was catching the bus to my new job. While waiting at the lights, I decided to play the staring game and ended up staring at a woman in the car next to the bus for ages, really creeping her out. It turns out she's my new boss. FML

#16408581
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9602) - you deserved it (41973)

On 05/29/2011 at 9:45pm - work - by milkymoo (woman) - Cyprus

Today, I was working at a retirement center, when an old woman came to me and asked if I would like her old clothes. I politely said, "I'm sorry, but I'm a guy." She then said, "You could have just said no, instead of rudely lying to me." FML

#16380790
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29337) - you deserved it (3121)

On 05/28/2011 at 12:09am - misc - by Imaman - United States (Virginia)

Today, I saw a hot guy at the laundromat. Wanting an excuse to talk to him, I tossed a pair of my red underwear into his washer. What I didn't realize was that he was washing his whites. Thanks to me, he now has an entire load of pink shirts and boxers. FML

#16374822
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6697) - you deserved it (66188)

On 05/27/2011 at 4:52pm - love - by nicole - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found out my mom intentionally puts extra butter and oil in the food she cooks for me because she wants me to be fatter than her. FML

#16355568
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49306) - you deserved it (3127)

On 05/26/2011 at 10:24am - health - by fatteningmeup (woman) - United States

Today, my mom asked if I was seeing anyone. I launched into a description of my girlfriend, only for her to interrupt, saying that she meant a therapist, and the fact that I'd just made up a relationship was further proof that I needed one. I really do have a girlfriend. FML

#16353801
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33688) - you deserved it (2975)

On 05/26/2011 at 3:53am - love - by lovingpsychosis - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, I was texting at work when my manager walked in. I quickly dropped my phone in the garbage to avoid trouble. Since I was working so hard, she decided to do me a favor and throw the trash out for me. FML

#16352403
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8729) - you deserved it (47492)

On 05/26/2011 at 1:04am - work - by explosiveBAM - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML

#16126147
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57554) - you deserved it (4484)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:17am - intimacy - by Chels (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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