Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

velvel

Search for a member

velvel

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6639
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

velvel's page activity

Visits<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 1:48pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 2:04pm<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 4:41am<b>Immortal_Toaster</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 7:17am<b>Capriciousfox</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 12:34am<b>itssnotfunny</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 2:03pm<b>mommy2cassidy</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 5:30pm<b>Hawk42</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 5:26pm<b>DBKT</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 5:05pm<b>Regem_Arcana</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 2:50pm<b>guineagirl</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 5:33pm<b>Leo619</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 10:02am<b>Snackycake</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 7:24pm<b>arianenv</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 2:30am<b>Rallred32</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 9:52pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 10:42am<b>imshadyxo</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 4:30am<b>thebeast74</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 1:26pm

Liked!<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 7:05pm

velvel's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of velvel's badges

velvel's favorite FMLs

Today, I missd my flight because I was held in arport security because I'd "threatend" an employee. He had confiscatd my eyelash curler and jokingly I askd if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML

#16685518
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35356) - you deserved it (8948)

On 06/15/2011 at 10:42pm - misc - by missy - United States (Alaska)

Today , I had to lie to my female roommate about what happened last night. She was drunk and spent half the night cuddling with me and trying to get me to kiss her. I've loved this girl fir two yeres , but I promised her I wouldn't let her cheat on her boyfriend with anyone. Even me. mega FML

#16677911
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65547) - you deserved it (11539)

On 06/15/2011 at 2:00pm - love - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today... I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My grlfriend lookd at it and said "Oh look... now he's R1-D1". It was super cute... but I couldn't help thinking... "That's not how the numbering system works 4 droids." FML

#16657656
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13749) - you deserved it (48102)

On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)

Today, looool I woke up with bowel problems which have been causing me to violently pass wind every couple of minutes. I have to spend the next two hours sitting an exam in dead silence. FML

#16607175
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34000) - you deserved it (2974)

On 06/11/2011 at 4:48am - health - by pleasestop (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that my dad makes me wear dresses and skrts not cuz I look pretty in them, but cuz he was sick and tred of people asking him if I was a boy or a grl. FML

#16605996
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38669) - you deserved it (5723)

On 06/11/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by mbesameh (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today , I found out that as a suparvisor , if u raprimand a famala workar and and tha convarsation with "Now gat back to making sandwichas." your boss will considar it saxism and suspand you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50438) - you deserved it (7840)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, My Co-worker Finally Gave Me A Ceck For Te Money E Owes Me. In Te Memo Line, E Wrote "for Swallowing". Now I Ave To Go Cas It. FML

#16577397
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35939) - you deserved it (6569)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Patrick R - United States (Texas)

YESTERDAY, I USED THE STAFF TOILETS AT SCHOOL. AS I SAT DOWN, I HEARD A SUDDEN PLOP, FOLLOWED BY THE STENCH OF DIARRHOEA FROM THE NEXT CUBICLE. IT WAS FOLLOWED BY A ( I DO APOLOGISE! ) IT WAS ENGLISH TEACHER. AND WE CONTINUED TO CHAT. FML

#16575897
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32981) - you deserved it (6880)

On 06/09/2011 at 9:22am - health - by IPityTheStool (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

2day mah kitchen is floodd, and according to mah landlord, this is normal, cuz it raind last night. Funny, I thought the purpose of a roof was to stop water from getting in. Guess I was wrong. Silly me. FML

#16559634
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42828) - you deserved it (3491)

On 06/08/2011 at 7:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, my girlfriend got into my Facebook and cangd our relationsip status to single just to seiec of my friends would ( like ) it. After revealing to me wat se did, se now says I can no longer be friends wit anyoneo likd it. FML

#16550492
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39482) - you deserved it (5918)

On 06/07/2011 at 7:09pm - love - by fmfb - United States

Today I was reading a crappy ( How to spice up yur marriage ) book with my husband 4 laughs . One of the ideas was 4 the guy tohip his knob out stand behind his grl and say ( Can you say that into the microphone? ) Now he does it every chance he gets and I fall 4 it EVERY TIME . FML

#16542323
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12440) - you deserved it (40540)

On 06/07/2011 at 3:50am - intimacy - by Kate (woman) - United States (California)

Today I tougt it would be a good idea to declare ma love to te girl I ave a crus on . I guess I souldn't ave gone an kissd er witout warning because now ma face is coverd wit slap marks an I ad to explain myself at te police station fir sexual arassement .

#16531117
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12704) - you deserved it (49703)

On 06/06/2011 at 2:55pm - love - by Someguy (man) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

Today, ma boyfriend and I were about to ave sex in is car. He got out of te car and moved to te passenger seat wit me. As e sut te door, it slammed against ma fingers, breaking one of tem. He ten asked if we could still ave sex. FML

#16530015
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43187) - you deserved it (6593)

On 06/06/2011 at 1:20pm - intimacy - by JayFri - United States

Today... while driving with my three year old... I was showing her the different kinds of brds. I pointd out a bright rd cardinal perchd in a row of hedges. She squeald as it took flight... so happy to see such a brightly colord brdie fly. Until it hit my windshield. fat FML

#16520207
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29536) - you deserved it (4053)

On 06/05/2011 at 9:44pm - kids - by Whoops (woman) - United States (Texas)

Yesterday, I was in the elevator with mah boss, when I let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of mah life as we left the frst floor !! We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes !! FML

#16516164
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17577) - you deserved it (43063)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:45pm - misc - by - United States



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: