Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

velvel

Search for a member

velvel

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6211
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

velvel's page activity

Visits<b>DBKT</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 5:05pm<b>Regem_Arcana</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 2:50pm<b>guineagirl</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 5:33pm<b>Leo619</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 10:02am<b>Snackycake</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 7:24pm<b>arianenv</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 2:30am<b>Rallred32</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 9:52pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 10:42am<b>imshadyxo</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 4:30am<b>thebeast74</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 1:26pm<b>guru_nanak51</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 12:28am<b>vb68</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 12:10am<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 2:57am<b>RadikulRam</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 5:08pm<b>hnasr</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 8:56pm<b>JessicaPf</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 11:29pm<b>maxinne</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 11:49pm<b>andiboo</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 1:36am

velvel's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of velvel's badges

velvel's favorite FMLs

Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML

#16685518
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35235) - you deserved it (8934)

On 06/15/2011 at 10:42pm - misc - by missy - United States (Alaska)

Today, I had to lie to my female roommate about what happened last night. She was drunk and spent half the night cuddling with me and trying to get me to kiss her. I've loved this girl for two years, but I promised her I wouldn't let her cheat on her boyfriend with anyone. Even me. FML

#16677911
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65355) - you deserved it (11513)

On 06/15/2011 at 2:00pm - love - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML

#16657656
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13692) - you deserved it (47994)

On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up with bowel problems which have been causing me to violently pass wind every couple of minutes. I have to spend the next two hours sitting an exam in dead silence. FML

#16607175
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33859) - you deserved it (2966)

On 06/11/2011 at 4:48am - health - by pleasestop (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that my dad makes me wear dresses and skirts not because I look pretty in them, but because he was sick and tired of people asking him if I was a boy or a girl. FML

#16605996
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38556) - you deserved it (5713)

On 06/11/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by mbesameh (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50326) - you deserved it (7818)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my co-worker finally gave me a check for the money he owes me. In the memo line, he wrote "for swallowing". Now I have to go cash it. FML

#16577397
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34603) - you deserved it (6424)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Patrick R - United States (Texas)

Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by a "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. And we continued to chat. FML

#16575897
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32843) - you deserved it (6870)

On 06/09/2011 at 9:22am - health - by IPityTheStool (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my kitchen is flooded, and according to my landlord, this is normal, because it rained last night. Funny, I thought the purpose of a roof was to stop water from getting in. Guess I was wrong. Silly me. FML

#16559634
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41388) - you deserved it (3370)

On 06/08/2011 at 7:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, my girlfriend got into my Facebook and changed our relationship status to single just to see which of my friends would "like" it. After revealing to me what she did, she now says I can no longer be friends with anyone who liked it. FML

#16550492
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37768) - you deserved it (5764)

On 06/07/2011 at 7:09pm - love - by fmfb - United States

Today, I was reading a crappy "How to spice up your marriage" book with my husband for laughs. One of the ideas was for the guy to whip his knob out, stand behind his girl and say "Can you say that into the microphone?" Now he does it every chance he gets, and I fall for it EVERY TIME. FML

#16542323
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12089) - you deserved it (40023)

On 06/07/2011 at 3:50am - intimacy - by Kate (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to declare my love to the girl I have a crush on. I guess I shouldn't have gone and kissed her without warning, because now my face is covered with slap marks, and I had to explain myself at the police station for sexual harassement. FML

#16531117
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12662) - you deserved it (49527)

On 06/06/2011 at 2:55pm - love - by Someguy (man) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex in his car. He got out of the car and moved to the passenger seat with me. As he shut the door, it slammed against my fingers, breaking one of them. He then asked if we could still have sex. FML

#16530015
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43045) - you deserved it (6572)

On 06/06/2011 at 1:20pm - intimacy - by JayFri - United States

Today, while driving with my three year old, I was showing her the different kinds of birds. I pointed out a bright red cardinal perched in a row of hedges. She squealed as it took flight, so happy to see such a brightly colored birdie fly. Until it hit my windshield. FML

#16520207
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29438) - you deserved it (4040)

On 06/05/2011 at 9:44pm - kids - by Whoops (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in the elevator with my boss, when I let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML

#16516164
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16616) - you deserved it (41416)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:45pm - misc - by - United States



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: