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velvel

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6137
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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velvel's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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velvel's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML

#16908147
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10135) - you deserved it (77820)

On 06/29/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by ashleyrae (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I sprained my knee while going down on one knee to propose to my girlfriend. She laughed as I rolled in pain. I still haven't gotten an answer. FML

#16858982
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39662) - you deserved it (4284)

On 06/26/2011 at 12:29am - love - by smoothmove - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML

#16774144
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37142) - you deserved it (11865)

On 06/21/2011 at 12:46am - love - by holdengurl18 - China

Today, I had to pick my parents up from jail. They thought it would be okay to have sex behind a bush. FML

#16761961
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46551) - you deserved it (3849)

On 06/20/2011 at 11:57am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to pick my parents up from jail. They thought it would be okay to have sex behind a bush. FML

#16761961
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46551) - you deserved it (3849)

On 06/20/2011 at 11:57am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to pick my parents up from jail. They thought it would be okay to have sex behind a bush. FML

#16761961
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46551) - you deserved it (3849)

On 06/20/2011 at 11:57am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, while a very cute girl was explaining the apartment's laundry machines to me, I blurted out, "It's okay, my pants are used to handling huge loads". FML

#16758524
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14743) - you deserved it (35371)

On 06/20/2011 at 3:37am - misc - by NewTenant (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I purchased an app to track my period. When my mother asked me why I got it, I told her I was going to use it so I knew when to not go on a date because I don't want to be uncomfortable during a long movie. She slapped me in the face and called me a dirty prostitute and a liar. FML

#16752428
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45069) - you deserved it (8467)

On 06/19/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by stillAvirgin:( - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I thought it would be funny to jump in the pool while holding my cat. I am currently in the hospital due to the severe cuts on my face and throat. FML

#16725871
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9603) - you deserved it (100730)

On 06/18/2011 at 6:32am - health - by princev - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to jump in the pool while holding my cat. I am currently in the hospital due to the severe cuts on my face and throat. FML

#16725871
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9603) - you deserved it (100730)

On 06/18/2011 at 6:32am - health - by princev - United States

Today, I got some really bad mosquito bites on the outside of my thighs. They itched, and my jeans prevented me from scratching them, so I unbuttoned my pants, stuck my down my leg and started scratching. My mom walked in, and won't believe I wasn't masturbating. FML

#16723796
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32391) - you deserved it (5991)

On 06/18/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by callie - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that's what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML

#16722873
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50060) - you deserved it (3379) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/18/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by Inconnu - France

Today, my girlfriend smelt my penis after I got back from the gym. She was making sure it didn't smell like latex. I can't even go to the gym without her thinking I'm cheating on her. FML

#16700863
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43148) - you deserved it (9362)

On 06/16/2011 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by evomadrid24 - United States (California)

Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML

#16687724
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38879) - you deserved it (3291)

On 06/16/2011 at 12:19am - love - by Ari (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband asked me to come see his turd. After saying no, he said, "What kind of wife are you?" FML

#16687170
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32807) - you deserved it (9201)

On 06/15/2011 at 11:53pm - misc - by randomjulz - United States



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