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velvel

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6117
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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velvel's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of velvel's badges

velvel's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

#17182524
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34158) - you deserved it (7154)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, as a 1 year anniversary present, my boyfriend let me see and wear my engagement ring. He then made me give it back at the end of the day. FML

#17180663
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31068) - you deserved it (5196)

On 07/19/2011 at 6:57pm - love - by nickrick12 - United States (Florida)

Today, after being in love with one of my best friends for ages, he took me on a date. We then went back to his place and we made love. Afterwards, he told me he wanted to show me something and led me outside. He ran back in and locked the door. It's a two hour walk home. FML

#17174791
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52413) - you deserved it (6691)

On 07/19/2011 at 7:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I was laying in bed making out with a girl. After trying to figure out for a while why she was spending so much time on my neck it finally hit me. She was frantically and secretly trying to remove the gum she got stuck in my hair. She failed. FML

#17170835
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35665) - you deserved it (3906)

On 07/19/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by tLee - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, in front of family and friends, as I got down on one knee, my girlfriend fainted. Her father, a lawyer, rushed over and said, "Anything she says for the next 72 hours is not legally binding" and whisked her away. FML

#17147393
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38467) - you deserved it (2722)

On 07/17/2011 at 8:34am - love - by bigjohn106 - United States (Maryland)

Today, my six year old son came up to me with his arms spread and said, "I feel like a hug." I got really excited and hopeful because he is very anti-social and hates physical contact. As soon as I stood up to hug him he said "Feeling's gone" and walked away. FML

#17134448
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39352) - you deserved it (4250)

On 07/16/2011 at 9:28am - kids - by Rejected (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML

#17128085
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34927) - you deserved it (8415)

On 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was playing my guitar outside my apartment building, and some people had put some money in my guitar case. One guy threw in what I thought was a crumpled piece of paper or something. It was actually a used condom. It leaked all over the money and my case. FML

#17112659
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42066) - you deserved it (4528)

On 07/14/2011 at 9:09pm - intimacy - by gross - Canada

Today, I walked in on my father and brother attempting to harmonize their farts. FML

#17109341
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30989) - you deserved it (5243)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:09pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

#17109043
426 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30578) - you deserved it (89086)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got a nose bleed in the ladies bathroom. An old lady comes out of a stall and says, "Oh, your nose is bleeding. Well I shit my pants. I'm sure it'll come out in the wash." FML

#17100769
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22405) - you deserved it (2125)

On 07/13/2011 at 11:15pm - health - by stephiew - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML

#17080358
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38230) - you deserved it (21782)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:09pm - misc - by couldntholdit (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while using the restroom at work, I dropped my keys into the toilet. I left to find something to get them out and figured nobody would use a toilet with keys in it. I came back to a bowl of dung and "Shit happens" written on the wall in lipstick. FML

#16980115
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31735) - you deserved it (7568)

On 07/05/2011 at 12:04am - work - by Stacy - United States

Today, my sister confessed to me that she sold some of my old shirts to the girl who's stalking me. This explains why I got a note that read, "I have your scent, now I can track you." FML

#16965226
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41052) - you deserved it (2608)

On 07/03/2011 at 8:27pm - misc - by beablue18 - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, while riding a roller coaster I got hit in the chest by a wasp going 80 miles per hour. As if that didn't hurt enough it somehow managed to survive and fell down my shirt. It crawled around and bit me a few times before the ride ended. FML

#16956758
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35178) - you deserved it (3621)

On 07/03/2011 at 1:25am - animals - by jreed509 - United States (Pennsylvania)



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