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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8929
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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velvel's page activity

Visits<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 3:49pm<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 10:04am<b>biggredd75</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 10:50pm<b>lungjiao</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 2:31pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 10:42pm<b>jazzybrar</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 10:54am<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 4:13pm<b>just_a_person9</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 5:13pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 7:19pm<b>shebewoofle</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 11:46pm<b>mistykitten</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 11:10am<b>ratman775</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 7:05pm<b>KabamWolf</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 11:17am<b>WordBea</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 2:55pm<b>ahmadmuneer</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 12:31am<b>Dangerousreaper</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 3:11am<b>XmasaX</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 5:04pm<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 1:48pm

Fucked!<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 4:05pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 7:05pm

velvel's FML badges


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I agree, their lives suck

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velvel's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was making instant hot chocolate from the hot water dispenser in the break-room at work, a coworker informed me that it was industrial "recycled" wastewater that was only supposed to be used for washing tools. Thanks. I've only been doing that every day for the past 8 months. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2011 at 6:38pm / United States / Work

Today, during our wedding, my wife tried to dodge The Kiss. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2011 at 12:41am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was dancing with the 4 hottest girls I've ever seen at a club, and I fainted. FML

by gb / 08/18/2011 at 1:18am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I was caught and fined for picking a lock. I have OCD. I was picking the padlock on a toilet paper holder in a public toilet because the roll was the wrong way round. FML

by Anon / 08/16/2011 at 2:27am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a scary movie. I was starting to get a small headache so he gently brushed my hair. During a scary part he jumped and hit me in the head as hard as he could with the brush. I'm still recovering from the migraine. FML

by Username / 08/13/2011 at 7:45am / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML

by brittbrat4 / 08/13/2011 at 2:51am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my roommate and I got into an argument. He told me he understood if I didn't forgive him "for a couple of days." He'd confessed to undressing my girlfriend in her sleep. FML

by James / 08/12/2011 at 3:54am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I zoned out in a coffee shop for about two minutes and was brought back to reality when a woman smacked me out of my seat. Apparently I was staring at her chest while zoned out. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2011 at 1:44am / United States (Alaska) / Intimacy

Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML

by Creeped_out_n_stuck / 08/05/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I have to take medicine that gives me painful, violent farts. Tomorrow, I have to either get fired or go work in an office that's dead silent. How silent? Last week I heard my coworker drop a paperclip, three desks away. FML

by Tootie / 07/30/2011 at 2:58am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, someone had the unique opportunity to be able to say to me, "Excuse me, your pants are on fire." FML

by smokin / 07/26/2011 at 5:22pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I learned that I'm allergic to hornets. I also learned that when your mom sprays a hornets' nest, and they come after you, that jumping in the pool doesn't help. They hover and wait for you to surface. FML

by sisi9999 / 07/25/2011 at 12:14am / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, my three-year-old daughter rushed in, excited about her new baby brother or sister. She was so excited, I didn't have the heart to tell her men can't have babies, and I just have a beer gut. FML

by Anonymous / 07/21/2011 at 7:46pm / Australia (South Australia) / Kids

Today, I was sitting waiting for my train for a long while. When it finally came, I had pins and needles in my foot. When I got up, I fell and unsuccessfully stumbled towards the train. The doors closed and it left without me. FML

by Anonymous / 07/21/2011 at 6:43am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation

Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML

by John / 07/20/2011 at 12:38pm / United States (Illinois) / Love