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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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velvel

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velvel
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1471
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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velvel's favorite FMLs

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML

#18946444 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (5533) - you deserved it (2737)

On 01/29/2012 at 8:27pm - health - by Rachal - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I blushed when a fortune cookie said "You have the attitude of a winner." My self esteem is so low. FML

#18844596 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (6409) - you deserved it (1233)

On 01/18/2012 at 2:41pm - misc - by FML - United States (Texas)

Today, my family and I were burning our Christmas tree. For a laugh, my dad jokingly pushed me toward the fire. I tripped, and my doctor says the burns are probably going to scar. FML

#18805376 (175)

I agree, your life sucks (12091) - you deserved it (826)

On 01/14/2012 at 12:32pm - health - by frownyface - United States (Arizona)

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

#18703291 (260)

I agree, your life sucks (7751) - you deserved it (5505)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was pushed over and robbed in a parking lot by a man in an ugly Christmas sweater. When I looked up, I was too distracted by the sweater to even look at his face. FML

#18681564 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (16669) - you deserved it (4883)

On 01/02/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was reading a book in German, which I don't know very well. Suddenly I reached a passage I had no trouble understanding. Excited, I showed my husband, saying I was finally getting the hang of it. He laughed and patted my head. Turns out, that particular passage was a quote. In English. FML

#18266824 (157)

I agree, your life sucks (2784) - you deserved it (9421)

On 11/16/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by dunicha - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML

#18200253 (272)

I agree, your life sucks (17410) - you deserved it (2049)

On 11/09/2011 at 7:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, as I was walking back to my dorm, I looked down and thought "I wonder why the ground is wet in just this one spot." Then I got hit with a water balloon. FML

#18180694 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (7665) - you deserved it (1011)

On 11/06/2011 at 11:50pm - misc - by Kirby - United States (Ohio)

Today, while in the grocery store my boyfriend said very loudly "Don't make me hit you in public again!" He says things like this every time we are in the grocery store line. The sad part is that it's better than when he says "Are you gonna pay for the stuff you put in your purse?" FML

#18109383 (375)

I agree, your life sucks (10438) - you deserved it (2481)

On 10/30/2011 at 4:38am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was so bored at my job as a receptionist that I actually got excited when the phone rang. FML

#18067160 (69)

I agree, your life sucks (6817) - you deserved it (865)

On 10/24/2011 at 9:33pm - work - by anonymous - United States

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

#18013165 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (14209) - you deserved it (25969)

On 10/18/2011 at 2:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML

#17981787 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (22971) - you deserved it (7380)

On 10/14/2011 at 11:23am - intimacy - by cduran2011 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dad came to confiscate my phone. I stuck it in between my boobs so he wouldn't be able to see it. He said, "Honey, your breasts aren't big enough to hide that." FML

#17935197 (243)

I agree, your life sucks (4260) - you deserved it (11094)

On 10/08/2011 at 1:03pm - misc - by G - United States (California)

Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML

#17919622 (137)

I agree, your life sucks (28425) - you deserved it (6972)

On 10/06/2011 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML

#17919318 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (8665) - you deserved it (3137)

On 10/06/2011 at 11:23am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)