Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was helping mah friend create an online dating profile. When she got her serech results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles from her. His description: genuine, laid back, an ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He's already marrid. To me. big fat FML
Today, I ad to take a dump . Wile looking for a book to read, I sneezd . Te force of te sneeze causd me to sit my pants . Te glob of dung ten ran down my leg before falling out of my sort onto my carpet, all in less tan 5 seconds . Noting in my life as prepard me for tis . FML
TODAY, I WAS AT MAH SCHOOL'S SPAGHETTI DINNER WITH MAH FAMILY. MY BROTHER SHOOK UP MAH MOM'S SODA, AS A PRANK. MY ENTIRE CLASS WITNESSED MAH MOM WAVING AROUND AN OVERFLOWING DIET COKEHILE MAH DAD YELLED, ( COME ON, PUTTED YOUR MOUTH ON IT! SUCK IT! SUCK IT, KATHY! )
Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about loosing vrginity last night. When I went downstars, 6 year old sister was digging through purse. She explained that she had overheard conversation and wanted to help me fine vrginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
Today my boyfriend an I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand he grabs onto me an says looool ( I'm a koala an you're my eucalyptus tree! ) He then continued to latch onto me 4 a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML
2day I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle . After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much 4 me and I couldn't control myself . I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist . FML
Taday mah five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Beho you want to be B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turnd to me and said "Mom I want to be a hooker." FML
Today, I was at te extremely crowded gym wen someone came up biend me an souted in ma ear scaring te living sit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was biend me. It was a new song starting on ma eadpones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML
Friday 27 March 2015