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vegemute

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vegemute

14Fucked!

vegemutevegemute
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 March 1999 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4040
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About vegemute : Heyhey, my name is Jack. I'm a huge fan of survival (Survivorman is my favourite show) as well as science, history, music, cooking and travel, and I'd like to study medicine in future - Docbastard is my idol
I love meeting new people, so chuck me a message. :)

vegemute's page activity

Visits<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - 8 hours ago<b>Kelsey_R</b> - yesterday at 1:20pm<b>ILikeKoalas</b> - yesterday at 7:25am<b>JustMe1600</b> - yesterday at 12:11am<b>flyingmind</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 8:44am<b>queensassygoat</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 12:49am<b>Gladeryn</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 11:26pm<b>thevelociraptor</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 10:35pm<b>igoryok76</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 10:46pm<b>sam882</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 1:27am<b>MDoremis</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 2:14pm<b>luc887</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 1:52pm<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 1:33am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 12:15pm<b>Umbraelux</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 5:21pm<b>Miss_Chevious</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 10:07pm<b>babeybazooka</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 5:18pm<b>WOTAN1488</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 2:48pm

Fucked!<b>ILikeKoalas</b> - yesterday at 1:23pm<b>Gladeryn</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 5:27am<b>thevelociraptor</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 4:36am<b>Kelsey_R</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 12:29am<b>dewberry2001</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 3:51am<b>flyingmind</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 5:14pm<b>lindacollins423</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 7:37am<b>xxtatumalyssaxx</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 1:49pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 7:24pm<b>echarlotte</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 12:48am<b>_lyricall</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 4:56pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 6:30am<b>alexlots</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 4:55pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 3:52pm

vegemute's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of vegemute's badges

vegemute's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching a movie alone with my girlfriend. She shifted positions as I put my arm around her, and ended up kneeing me in the crotch and shouldering me in the throat simultaneously. FML

#20016514
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21100) - you deserved it (2109)

On 08/12/2012 at 5:23am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise! FML

#20016279
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49074) - you deserved it (3215)

On 08/12/2012 at 1:49am - intimacy - by happybirthday - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

#20015702
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31374) - you deserved it (8608)

On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

#20015702
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31374) - you deserved it (8608)

On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16267) - you deserved it (40465)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16267) - you deserved it (40465)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend cutely climbed through my bedroom window for some sexy time. He decided he'd introduce bondage. As I was tied to the bed, completely naked, we heard the front door open. He got scared and left via the window, leaving me handcuffed to my bed. FML

Today, I accidentally sprayed some perfume in my eye. After rinsing said burning eye with water for a few minutes, I half-blindly grabbed the eyedrops my sister left on the counter and used some. They were actually tea tree oil drops. Ouch. FML

#20014690
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22114) - you deserved it (4955)

On 08/11/2012 at 2:21am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML

#20014116
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30980) - you deserved it (2134)

On 08/10/2012 at 8:45pm - health - by dumbasdogshit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML

#20014116
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30980) - you deserved it (2134)

On 08/10/2012 at 8:45pm - health - by dumbasdogshit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after much debate, my husband convinced me to let his scumbag brother babysit our seven-year-old son while we went out to a restaurant. When we got home, we found him teaching our son how to pick the lock to our liquor cabinet. My husband is unapologetic. FML

#20014051
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22303) - you deserved it (3578)

On 08/10/2012 at 7:59pm - kids - by shira512 (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I finished my first two weeks as an ice cream truck driver. Now I can't get that annoying ice cream truck music out of my head. It's even in my dreams. FML

#20013286
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22722) - you deserved it (3874)

On 08/10/2012 at 9:58am - work - by ice cream dude - United States (Colorado)

Today, I finished my first two weeks as an ice cream truck driver. Now I can't get that annoying ice cream truck music out of my head. It's even in my dreams. FML

#20013286
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22722) - you deserved it (3874)

On 08/10/2012 at 9:58am - work - by ice cream dude - United States (Colorado)

Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML

#20012686
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24321) - you deserved it (3093)

On 08/10/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by banana2894 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to allow the cats to sleep with us on the bed. As we started to cuddle, one of the cats pissed right in between us. We are sleeping on the couch until the baking soda absorbs the smell in the mattress. I'll be sleeping there longer than that. FML

#20012106
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9609) - you deserved it (27474)

On 08/09/2012 at 8:02pm - animals - by couchsurfer - Canada (Ontario)



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