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vegemute

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vegemute

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  • Number of visits : 2277
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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vegemute's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend got a new tattoo. It was a big tattoo of Pikachu on his hip. I told him now I'd feel like I was having sex with an 8-year-old boy. His defense? "No, no, think of it as having sex with Pikachu!" He still refuses to understand why that's weird. FML

#20050023
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24541) - you deserved it (4889)

On 08/30/2012 at 9:08pm - intimacy - by Kat (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I had to force myself to take a dump at school, even though I have severe restroom anxiety and shyness. I had finally relaxed enough to go when the tornado drills went off mid-dump, and 46 students and teachers packed into the bathroom with me. FML

#20048959
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33017) - you deserved it (2233)

On 08/30/2012 at 1:55am - misc - by DamnTornadoAlley - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to force myself to take a dump at school, even though I have severe restroom anxiety and shyness. I had finally relaxed enough to go when the tornado drills went off mid-dump, and 46 students and teachers packed into the bathroom with me. FML

#20048959
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33017) - you deserved it (2233)

On 08/30/2012 at 1:55am - misc - by DamnTornadoAlley - United States (Texas)

Today, the pharmacist warned me that my antibiotics might cause slight gastrointestinal distress. The fact that I have been on the john for the past 90 minutes drenched in sweat would lead me to believe our definitions of "slight" are a bit different. FML

#20047681
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20723) - you deserved it (1317)

On 08/29/2012 at 9:12am - health - by jdch_99 - United States

Today, there's a cricket in my apartment. I don't know if I'm more annoyed by the fact that it somehow got up three flights of stairs to get here, or that my cat is so excited about it that he's jumping on me and howling in my face to announce the cricket's presence instead of killing it. FML

Today, I made the mistake of telling my dentist that my dog died. She spent the next half-hour talking about her pets and how they died. I ended up crying in her dentist's chair. FML

#20045592
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19221) - you deserved it (2651)

On 08/28/2012 at 12:43am - animals - by anonya - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML

#20044244
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23370) - you deserved it (3018)

On 08/27/2012 at 8:57am - love - by kvdfan (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend confided to me that he has a used condom collection. When I reacted with disgust, he "reassured" me that he only keeps the ones he uses with me. FML

#20036074
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28503) - you deserved it (2505)

On 08/22/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by WTF (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to slowly explain to my best friend that when babies are born, the umbilical cord is attached to the baby's belly-button, not the mother's. FML

#20035907
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17560) - you deserved it (1472)

On 08/22/2012 at 4:36pm - misc - by baffled (woman) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, my boyfriend and I reached that point in our relationship where just a simple phone conversation was too boring. His idea to spice things up? Playing Minecraft together. FML

#20035502
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17281) - you deserved it (5780)

On 08/22/2012 at 11:13am - love - by Minecraftwhyyy (woman) - United States

Today, at football practice, the biggest lineman shouldered me so hard in the groin that my protective cup pushed back with enough force to crack the bone. FML

#20032631
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25013) - you deserved it (1784)

On 08/20/2012 at 8:46pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, thanks to a new form of birth control, I've now been having my period non-stop for six weeks. FML

#20022564
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36797) - you deserved it (4071)

On 08/15/2012 at 1:08pm - health - by theflow (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my fiancée showed me her wedding plans. It will be themed on one of her video games, the best man will be dressed as an alien warlord, and the vows talk about how we'll beat the odds and be blessed by the "Goddess Kalahira". Apparently, I have no say in this. FML

#20021119
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21583) - you deserved it (5437)

On 08/14/2012 at 6:50pm - love - by cestquoicebordel?? (man) - France

Today, it's garbage day. My mom accidentally threw away a receipt she needed to return something and told me to go get it. While I was looking for it, a cop gave me hell for "stealing recyclables on private property." This all happened in my front lawn. FML

#20020707
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20697) - you deserved it (1536)

On 08/14/2012 at 2:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML

#20020549
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18826) - you deserved it (1534)

On 08/14/2012 at 12:14pm - health - by Todd - United States



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