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vegemute

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vegemute

47Fucked!

vegemutevegemute
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 March 1999 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4925
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About vegemute : Heyhey, my name is Jack. I have a love for survival (Survivorman is my favourite show) as well as science, history, music, cooking and travel, and I'd like to study medicine in future - Docbastard is my idol
I love meeting new people, so chuck me a message. :)

vegemute's page activity

Visits<b>WittyMoron</b> - yesterday at 2:09pm<b>isnobodyhere</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 1:05pm<b>jentrynicole</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 10:39pm<b>lalala96</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 11:45pm<b>ilovemonkeybutts</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 9:14pm<b>flyingmind</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 7:23pm<b>Tori_belle</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 11:49pm<b>shanewh40</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 11:26pm<b>jeffprobs</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 10:58pm<b>becca1998</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 1:04pm<b>rynoyhedino</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 1:57am<b>kitkat818</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 2:39pm<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 10:20am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 8:46am<b>Gladeryn</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 8:07pm<b>YTfangirl</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 2:25pm<b>Jesmassimo</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 7:36am<b>iireenee</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 8:53am

Fucked!<b>WittyMoron</b> - yesterday at 8:09pm<b>Tori_belle</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 2:13am<b>becca1998</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 4:35pm<b>rynoyhedino</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 7:58am<b>kitkat818</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 11:08am<b>MyUsernameisEpic</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 9:48pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 10:07pm<b>invadermaythe1st</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 5:46pm<b>rookworst</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 2:44pm<b>LexiD19</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 7:04pm<b>KaylaRox1908</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 1:43pm<b>sa5v</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 1:59pm<b>emmarawr17</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 9:49pm<b>lolcaption2324</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 11:55am<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 7:46am<b>Dogluvr1197</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 12:12am<b>NoYesNoYesNoYes</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 8:33pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 12:36am

vegemute's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of vegemute's badges

vegemute's favorite FMLs

Today, a small kid looked at me, screamed in terror, and hid behind his dad. I was just walking down the same aisle in the store. This is far from the first time it's happened. FML

#20051755
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23360) - you deserved it (2975)

On 09/01/2012 at 12:07am - kids - by KidKillah - United States (California)

Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML

#20051425
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13861) - you deserved it (38591)

On 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by pride? what's that? :( (woman) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontanous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML

#20051213
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30784) - you deserved it (17268)

On 08/31/2012 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by jon (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got rear-ended. An old woman got out and came over to my car window. I thought she was coming to apologize and trade insurance companies. Instead, she poured her soda on my head, ran back into her car, and drove away. FML

#20050170
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26848) - you deserved it (1697)

On 08/30/2012 at 10:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend got a new tattoo. It was a big tattoo of Pikachu on his hip. I told him now I'd feel like I was having sex with an 8-year-old boy. His defense? "No, no, think of it as having sex with Pikachu!" He still refuses to understand why that's weird. FML

#20050023
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28517) - you deserved it (5438)

On 08/30/2012 at 9:08pm - intimacy - by Kat (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I had to force myself to take a dump at school, even though I have severe restroom anxiety and shyness. I had finally relaxed enough to go when the tornado drills went off mid-dump, and 46 students and teachers packed into the bathroom with me. FML

#20048959
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36985) - you deserved it (2549)

On 08/30/2012 at 1:55am - misc - by DamnTornadoAlley - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to force myself to take a dump at school, even though I have severe restroom anxiety and shyness. I had finally relaxed enough to go when the tornado drills went off mid-dump, and 46 students and teachers packed into the bathroom with me. FML

#20048959
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36985) - you deserved it (2549)

On 08/30/2012 at 1:55am - misc - by DamnTornadoAlley - United States (Texas)

Today, the pharmacist warned me that my antibiotics might cause slight gastrointestinal distress. The fact that I have been on the john for the past 90 minutes drenched in sweat would lead me to believe our definitions of "slight" are a bit different. FML

#20047681
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23583) - you deserved it (1541)

On 08/29/2012 at 9:12am - health - by jdch_99 - United States

Today, there's a cricket in my apartment. I don't know if I'm more annoyed by the fact that it somehow got up three flights of stairs to get here, or that my cat is so excited about it that he's jumping on me and howling in my face to announce the cricket's presence instead of killing it. FML

Today, I made the mistake of telling my dentist that my dog died. She spent the next half-hour talking about her pets and how they died. I ended up crying in her dentist's chair. FML

#20045592
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22114) - you deserved it (2916)

On 08/28/2012 at 12:43am - animals - by anonya - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML

#20044244
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26560) - you deserved it (3298)

On 08/27/2012 at 8:57am - love - by kvdfan (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend confided to me that he has a used condom collection. When I reacted with disgust, he "reassured" me that he only keeps the ones he uses with me. FML

#20036074
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32521) - you deserved it (2836)

On 08/22/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by WTF (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to slowly explain to my best friend that when babies are born, the umbilical cord is attached to the baby's belly-button, not the mother's. FML

#20035907
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20874) - you deserved it (1740)

On 08/22/2012 at 4:36pm - misc - by baffled (woman) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, my boyfriend and I reached that point in our relationship where just a simple phone conversation was too boring. His idea to spice things up? Playing Minecraft together. FML

#20035502
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20560) - you deserved it (6429)

On 08/22/2012 at 11:13am - love - by Minecraftwhyyy (woman) - United States

Today, at football practice, the biggest lineman shouldered me so hard in the groin that my protective cup pushed back with enough force to crack the bone. FML

#20032631
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27964) - you deserved it (1987)

On 08/20/2012 at 8:46pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



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