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vegemute

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vegemute

3Fucked!

vegemute
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 March 1999 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3832
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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vegemute's page activity

Visits<b>labracabrador</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 2:34am<b>aishah77</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 12:33pm<b>Heatmizer</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 8:40am<b>trevorboii</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 12:45am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 12:30am<b>rareawesomeness</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 6:16am<b>alexlots</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 10:54am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 10:39am<b>nunes36</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 3:08am<b>lola4455</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 11:18pm<b>Araj_Hs</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 6:13am<b>Archangel77</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 6:58am<b>Majjzg</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 6:26am<b>BBlah</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 6:21am<b>bridgetb77</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 7:51pm<b>fatiezzhm</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 7:30am<b>AHSFan</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 9:43am<b>vegasked</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 4:17pm

Fucked!<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 6:30am<b>alexlots</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 4:55pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 3:52pm

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vegemute's favorite FMLs

Today, while working at the daycare, I had to clean the entire place. During the next four hours, I scooped up three human teeth, a rotten log of shit, a tire iron, a condom wrapper, and a yogurt that expired in 2003. I only cleaned the place a week ago. FML

#20106106
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24573) - you deserved it (1880)

On 10/07/2012 at 5:41pm - kids - by Skidmark Sally - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

#20104739
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27196) - you deserved it (6962)

On 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm - kids - by TheVirginJenny - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to pry my sister's used tampon out from between my dog's jaws. FML

#20104660
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25725) - you deserved it (1794)

On 10/06/2012 at 6:58pm - animals - by banj0 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my four roommates and I contracted lice. While all our heads were slathered in mayonnaise and saran wrap, our building's fire alarm went off. FML

#20103879
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22949) - you deserved it (3171)

On 10/06/2012 at 3:28am - health - by EastOneTen - United States

Today, I was watching TV with my mom, when a plumbing ad came on. A hot guy showed up on-screen and said "I'm here to snake your drain." My mom immediately piped up with, "Oh, I'd let him snake my drain any day." Thanks for that imagery, mom. FML

#20101823
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22778) - you deserved it (2913)

On 10/04/2012 at 7:24pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML

#20101402
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26707) - you deserved it (2039)

On 10/04/2012 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML

#20083358
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22635) - you deserved it (3233)

On 09/22/2012 at 10:12am - animals - by Grauncho - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML

#20083352
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27440) - you deserved it (27414)

On 09/22/2012 at 10:06am - intimacy - by holyshitbatman - United States (Illinois)

Today, my roommate came out of the bathroom, and asked me how the scales knew her weight in both pounds and kilos, even though "the exchange rate is always changing." I actually live with this idiot. FML

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. My dad noticed my depression and got me to tell him what was wrong. I told him everything, and trusting him to have an intelligent suggestion, I asked him what I should do. He shrugged and said, "Fuck, sue him, I dunno." FML

#20082521
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20073) - you deserved it (2445)

On 09/21/2012 at 7:20pm - love - by Pissed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to a new dentist because I've been experiencing occasional toothache. Upon seeing my x-rays, he noticed something odd. Apparently, during a root canal a while ago, a piece of an instrument broke off, and has been lodged within ever since. FML

#20080998
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27192) - you deserved it (1490)

On 09/20/2012 at 5:34pm - health - by fuckalltwitardsintheface (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26208) - you deserved it (3016)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I had my girlfriend over to meet my parents. After dinner, we were in the living room talking. My dad thought it would be funny to grab our cat, stick it down his shirt, then pretend to give birth to it, with sound effects. FML

#20070030
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22905) - you deserved it (2119)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:37am - misc - by Sprtsgeek13 - United States (Maine)

Today, I found out there's a rumor going around that my smoking hot co-worker and I had sex over the weekend. I'm not nearly as pissed off about the rumor as I am by the fact that I can't remember it because I was too drunk. FML

#20069142
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10865) - you deserved it (30159)

On 09/12/2012 at 5:58pm - intimacy - by bruisedego31 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML

#20066447
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21494) - you deserved it (7393)

On 09/10/2012 at 5:20pm - work - by kevcng (man) - United States



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