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vegemute

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vegemute

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  • Title : Mister
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  • Number of visits : 2024
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Visits<b>klenorris</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 1:59am<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 9:15pm<b>davotesolono</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 11:35pm<b>notabeachbabe</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:55pm<b>football98</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 6:33am<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 1:53pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 1:02pm<b>dingostacy</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 3:42pm<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 11:11pm<b>Horsempeg</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 1:27am<b>belljars</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 5:00am<b>bigboi1992</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 3:40am<b>leeebeeeee18</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 10:11am<b>ironfey</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 8:13pm<b>atl904</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 9:53pm<b>jgwyh</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 11:51am<b>mesutozil11</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 12:45am<b>Dswank620</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 6:43am

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vegemute's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the Salvation Army when I saw a wheelchair in the miscellaneous aisle. I thought it would be fun to ride around in it. As I was wheeling it back to where I found it, I made it back just as it's owner was hobbling out of the dressing room. FML

#5703197
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6751) - you deserved it (46483)

On 10/07/2009 at 1:58pm - misc - by imok (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after an amazing sex session, my boyfriend rolls over and stares lovingly into my eyes, puts his hand on my cheek caressing it tenderly... and says "Who's a good piggy?" in his best Homer Simpson's voice. FML

#5562076
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23264) - you deserved it (4392)

On 09/30/2009 at 4:28am - intimacy - by homersgirl (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was offered to attend a Buddhist ceremony by one of my regular customers. Not wanting to offend the couple, I made an excuse about have a project for oceanography. Surprise, the husband is an oceanographer and wants to help me with my imaginary project. Karma much? FML

#5443877
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9102) - you deserved it (44881)

On 09/24/2009 at 5:50am - work - by whatproject (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be hot to get it on in the gym storage room at school. Apparently so did my Chemistry and Drama teachers. FML

#5131831
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24957) - you deserved it (6485)

On 09/08/2009 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by TRAMATIZED (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after taking a shower, I noticed a weird noise and asked my husband about it. "I think it's in the walls," I told him. After careful inspection, he simply turned off the electric razor I had just used to shave my legs and gave me 'that' look. I had beaten him in an IQ test not 24 hours prior. FML

#5031923
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6032) - you deserved it (38707)

On 09/03/2009 at 11:24pm - misc - by nottililgirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friend called to say my boyfriend was at a diner with another woman. I immediately went and caught them in a deep conversation. I slapped him and yelled "Who's this bitch!?" It turns out she's his half sister. FML

#3705241
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8521) - you deserved it (79685)

On 07/13/2009 at 12:28am - love - by Terry (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has alzheimers and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML

#3603925
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54094) - you deserved it (2806)

On 07/09/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by lady_jeni - United States (California)

Today, I got an email from a guy to whom I sold my old phone to over eBay. Turns out I forgot to delete the nude photos of myself and my boyfriend that I had stored up. His email asked me for "any PIN numbers needed to use the phone, and oh by the way, nice tits." FML

#3389802
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9028) - you deserved it (69436)

On 07/01/2009 at 6:31am - intimacy - by paprikarulz (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I tried to keep a drunk girl from driving by holding her keys, she had a spare set in her purse. She hit me with her car when I was walking home. FML

#3252753
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56679) - you deserved it (2969)

On 06/26/2009 at 7:36pm - misc - by Chedder (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went out to dinner with my brother. There was a very attractive man sitting a few tables away who kept glancing at me. When my brother excused himself to the bathroom, the man worked up the courage to come over and introduce himself to me. He asked me if my brother was single. FML

#3104897
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60600) - you deserved it (4553)

On 06/21/2009 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by Kat (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up with a splitting headache. Then someone at work wouldn't stop whistling loudly and it was getting on my nerves. "Can the dick who is whistling please stop?" I asked. It was the general manager of my department. I'm still on probation. FML

#2560630
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11895) - you deserved it (45669)

On 06/03/2009 at 6:31am - work - by whatzthehell (woman) - Kuwait

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83820) - you deserved it (221926)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to give blood for the second time. I felt excrutiating pain when she stuck the needle in my arm. Another nurse came running over in a panic. Apparently my inexperienced nurse had put it in my tendon instead of my vein. FML

#2363233
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63139) - you deserved it (2477)

On 05/28/2009 at 12:19am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML

#2321503
854 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34149) - you deserved it (254696)

On 05/26/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by Jerrrr (man) - United States (New York)



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