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vegemute

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1576
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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vegemute's page activity

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vegemute's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML

#14898622
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32585) - you deserved it (3092)

On 02/08/2011 at 6:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my mum told me how I was only here because my dad couldn't pull out in time. FML

#14671096
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38236) - you deserved it (3178)

On 01/22/2011 at 5:03am - intimacy - by Theaccident (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at the Museum I volunteer at, I was touching some of the things in the exhibit where you can feel what natural boobs and testes feel like. I started rolling the "boob" like a stress ball and forgot where I was. When I realized people were staring, it became very awkward. FML

#13799355
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9127) - you deserved it (38374)

On 11/11/2010 at 6:30am - intimacy - by latino (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend borrowed my Jane Norman dress to wear to a Halloween party. He got hammered, threw up all over it, and fell unconscious on the shower floor. FML

#13664079
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18593) - you deserved it (6991)

On 10/31/2010 at 2:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my dad asked me for a word that rhymes with vagina. He was filling out an anniversary card for my mom. FML

#13614950
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28098) - you deserved it (2502)

On 10/27/2010 at 1:59pm - intimacy - by nothingdoes (woman) - United States

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

#13481200
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37866) - you deserved it (7982)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was sitting in a lecture about the history of the KKK and the problems it has caused, when the weirdest and quietest kid leans over my shoulder and says "I'd burn you first..." and winks. FML

#13455190
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32322) - you deserved it (3193)

On 10/15/2010 at 2:00am - misc - by racist - United States

Today, I started my first day at a new hospital. My first assignment? Shave an elderly man's testicles. FML

#13333152
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35287) - you deserved it (5030)

On 10/05/2010 at 7:36pm - work - by hospital - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML

#13287262
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30097) - you deserved it (3266)

On 10/02/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML

#13274666
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26859) - you deserved it (5368)

On 10/01/2010 at 9:06am - health - by Embarrassed - United States

Today, I was on my way home on an airplane. The guy I had to sit next to was reading a book with naked girls in it. About 15 minutes into the flight, he had an erection and started to giggle. It was a 2 hour flight. FML

#13124550
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32391) - you deserved it (2981)

On 09/20/2010 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Thomas - United States (Oregon)

Today, I noticed that the walls of my apartment are ridiculously thin, when I heard my neighbor slowly walk up the stairs, slam the bathroom door, lift the toilet cover, take a pee and end with a nice "AAHH." FML

#13030985
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24823) - you deserved it (2855)

On 09/13/2010 at 2:49am - misc - by edwinduarte1 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

#12563425
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49674) - you deserved it (6066)

On 08/16/2010 at 4:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was repainting the walls in my room. While painting, I noticed a dark spot on the wall that wouldn't seem to go away no matter how much paint I put on it. A bucket of paint and hours later, I realized that "dark spot" was a shadow. FML

#12214891
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7839) - you deserved it (53940)

On 07/30/2010 at 9:44pm - misc - by ick - United States (California)

Today, I was outside when a mouse ran toward my feet. There was a wall behind me, so I tried to jump over him. He changed course, and I landed on him. It crunched. FML

#11940720
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32192) - you deserved it (7338)

On 07/17/2010 at 10:54am - misc - by killer (woman) - United States (Florida)



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