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vegemute

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vegemute
  • Town/Country : Australia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1041
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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vegemute's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend borrowed my Jane Norman dress to wear to a Halloween party. He got hammered, threw up all over it, and fell unconscious on the shower floor. FML

#13664079
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14217) - you deserved it (5564)

On 10/31/2010 at 2:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my dad asked me for a word that rhymes with vagina. He was filling out an anniversary card for my mom. FML

#13614950
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24348) - you deserved it (2219)

On 10/27/2010 at 1:59pm - intimacy - by nothingdoes (woman) - United States

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

#13481200
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35911) - you deserved it (7751)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was sitting in a lecture about the history of the KKK and the problems it has caused, when the weirdest and quietest kid leans over my shoulder and says "I'd burn you first..." and winks. FML

#13455190
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27860) - you deserved it (2857)

On 10/15/2010 at 2:00am - misc - by racist - United States

Today, I started my first day at a new hospital. My first assignment? Shave an elderly man's testicles. FML

#13333152
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30420) - you deserved it (3987)

On 10/05/2010 at 7:36pm - work - by hospital - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML

#13287262
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25872) - you deserved it (2897)

On 10/02/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML

#13274666
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24314) - you deserved it (5056)

On 10/01/2010 at 9:06am - health - by Embarrassed - United States

Today, I was on my way home on an airplane. The guy I had to sit next to was reading a book with naked girls in it. About 15 minutes into the flight, he had an erection and started to giggle. It was a 2 hour flight. FML

#13124550
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30530) - you deserved it (2815)

On 09/20/2010 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Thomas - United States (Oregon)

Today, I noticed that the walls of my apartment are ridiculously thin, when I heard my neighbor slowly walk up the stairs, slam the bathroom door, lift the toilet cover, take a pee and end with a nice "AAHH." FML

#13030985
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20161) - you deserved it (2141)

On 09/13/2010 at 2:49am - misc - by edwinduarte1 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

#12563425
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48420) - you deserved it (5944)

On 08/16/2010 at 4:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was repainting the walls in my room. While painting, I noticed a dark spot on the wall that wouldn't seem to go away no matter how much paint I put on it. A bucket of paint and hours later, I realized that "dark spot" was a shadow. FML

#12214891
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7259) - you deserved it (51859)

On 07/30/2010 at 9:44pm - misc - by ick - United States (California)

Today, I was outside when a mouse ran toward my feet. There was a wall behind me, so I tried to jump over him. He changed course, and I landed on him. It crunched. FML

#11940720
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28184) - you deserved it (6780)

On 07/17/2010 at 10:54am - misc - by killer (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got called a f***ing b**ch by one of my students. I teach kindergarten. FML

#10851356
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42871) - you deserved it (6356)

On 05/29/2010 at 10:36pm - work - by love_today - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I just realized the harder my girlfriend comes during sex, the louder she snores after. I've tried earplugs but sometimes, like tonight, once I am up, I can't fall back to sleep. My choices are thus great sex and no sleep, or great sleep but no sex. FML

#10398806
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31768) - you deserved it (4026)

On 05/07/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by SkiMaskFukd (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML

#9143571
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34963) - you deserved it (2794)

On 03/16/2010 at 9:34pm - misc - by disturbed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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