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vegemute

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vegemute

5Fucked!

vegemutevegemute
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 March 1999 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3854
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About vegemute : Heyhey, my name Jack. I'm a huge fan of survival (Survivorman is my favourite show) as well as science, history, music, cooking and travel, and I'd like to study medicine in future - Docbastard is my idol
I love meeting new people, so chuck me a message. :)

vegemute's page activity

Visits<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - 3 hours ago<b>_lyricall</b> - 5 hours ago<b>flyingmind</b> - 17 hours ago<b>LunaBlack666</b> - 20 hours ago<b>echarlotte</b> - yesterday at 10:55am<b>labracabrador</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 2:34am<b>aishah77</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 12:33pm<b>Heatmizer</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 8:40am<b>trevorboii</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 12:45am<b>rareawesomeness</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 6:16am<b>alexlots</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 10:54am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 10:39am<b>nunes36</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 3:08am<b>lola4455</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 11:18pm<b>Araj_Hs</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 6:13am<b>Archangel77</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 6:58am<b>Majjzg</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 6:26am<b>BBlah</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 6:21am

Fucked!<b>echarlotte</b> - yesterday at 12:48am<b>_lyricall</b> - yesterday at 4:56pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 6:30am<b>alexlots</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 4:55pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 3:52pm

vegemute's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of vegemute's badges

vegemute's favorite FMLs

Today, my racist grandmother was complaining that the new nurse at her nursing home is a black woman. I casually asked, "Is she cute?" I'm now out of the will. FML

#18641039
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32429) - you deserved it (7135)

On 12/29/2011 at 1:47am - misc - by Snurkles McGree (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad got drunk and thought it would be a great idea to clean up the yard by dumping gasoline all over the leaves and lighting our entire front yard on fire. FML

#18334271
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29489) - you deserved it (2409)

On 11/24/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by JWhite - United States (California)

Today, I was late for work. Trying to cut a few seconds off the clock, I tried to open my breakfast candy bar while taking a piss. I ended up pissing all over myself and dropping the bar in the toilet. FML

#17960824
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9622) - you deserved it (38700)

On 10/11/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by Massasam - United States

Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML

#17752221
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5667) - you deserved it (53336)

On 09/15/2011 at 5:22pm - misc - by Cooper491 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I met an old friend from high school and his hot girlfriend. I jokingly said she must be blind to go out with him. His response: "Yeah, she is." FML

#17728499
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20197) - you deserved it (34447)

On 09/12/2011 at 3:25pm - misc - by aru9 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

#17483730
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37122) - you deserved it (3480)

On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States

Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML

#17261824
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34431) - you deserved it (8324)

On 07/26/2011 at 12:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to my friend's house because his family was having a move away party for him. Everything was going good until his dad decided to give a toast. Including an anecdote about how he walked in on us watching porn together. FML

#17250020
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28800) - you deserved it (9287)

On 07/25/2011 at 2:43am - intimacy - by best_friend - United States (Texas)

Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML

#17172932
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41261) - you deserved it (6301)

On 07/19/2011 at 2:24am - kids - by hatemylife - United States (New York)

Today, I got home from work to find my house covered in graffiti dicks, the windows smashed, the front lawn entirely ripped up, and my letter box containing dog shit. I also found a note taped to the door saying, "Suck on this Darren". Darren is my next door neighbor. FML

#17063070
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59989) - you deserved it (3085)

On 07/11/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

#16993109
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34009) - you deserved it (3626)

On 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I saw a guy with a "free hugs" poster. Since nobody else was hugging him, I decided to. He had a boner. FML

#16886368
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24254) - you deserved it (38367)

On 06/27/2011 at 7:34pm - intimacy - by nomorefreehugs - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I snuck out to see my girlfriend in the middle of the night. When I got to her house, I decided to throw a rock at her window to wake her up. It broke a hole in the window. FML

#16075095
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11496) - you deserved it (46975)

On 05/07/2011 at 2:40am - misc - by Kaz (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I painted a kids room at my new nanny job while the dad "helped" by staring at my ass and telling me how hard it is to position your "junk" correctly when wearing a speedo. First day on the job. FML

#15865508
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38056) - you deserved it (3449)

On 04/20/2011 at 9:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

#15426482
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50146) - you deserved it (28088)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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