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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, at the Museum I volunteer at, I was touching some of the things in the exhibit where you can feel what natural boobs and testes feel like. I started rolling the "boob" like a stress ball and forgot where I was. When I realized people were staring, it became very awkward. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7258) - you deserved it (33182)
On 11/11/2010 at 6:30am - intimacy - by latino (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend borrowed my Jane Norman dress to wear to a Halloween party. He got hammered, threw up all over it, and fell unconscious on the shower floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13787) - you deserved it (5523)
On 10/31/2010 at 2:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my dad asked me for a word that rhymes with vagina. He was filling out an anniversary card for my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23014) - you deserved it (2138)
On 10/27/2010 at 1:59pm - intimacy - by nothingdoes (woman) - United States
Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32658) - you deserved it (7419)
On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was sitting in a lecture about the history of the KKK and the problems it has caused, when the weirdest and quietest kid leans over my shoulder and says "I'd burn you first..." and winks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27317) - you deserved it (2822)
On 10/15/2010 at 2:00am - misc - by racist - United States
Today, I started my first day at a new hospital. My first assignment? Shave an elderly man's testicles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29859) - you deserved it (3953)
On 10/05/2010 at 7:36pm - work - by hospital - United States (New York)
Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25307) - you deserved it (2873)
On 10/02/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22319) - you deserved it (4829)
On 10/01/2010 at 9:06am - health - by Embarrassed - United States
Today, I was on my way home on an airplane. The guy I had to sit next to was reading a book with naked girls in it. About 15 minutes into the flight, he had an erection and started to giggle. It was a 2 hour flight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26443) - you deserved it (2207)
On 09/20/2010 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Thomas - United States (Oregon)
Today, I noticed that the walls of my apartment are ridiculously thin, when I heard my neighbor slowly walk up the stairs, slam the bathroom door, lift the toilet cover, take a pee and end with a nice "AAHH." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19698) - you deserved it (2122)
On 09/13/2010 at 2:49am - misc - by edwinduarte1 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43923) - you deserved it (5529)
On 08/16/2010 at 4:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was repainting the walls in my room. While painting, I noticed a dark spot on the wall that wouldn't seem to go away no matter how much paint I put on it. A bucket of paint and hours later, I realized that "dark spot" was a shadow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6179) - you deserved it (40930)
On 07/30/2010 at 9:44pm - misc - by ick - United States (California)
Today, I was outside when a mouse ran toward my feet. There was a wall behind me, so I tried to jump over him. He changed course, and I landed on him. It crunched. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27619) - you deserved it (6724)
On 07/17/2010 at 10:54am - misc - by killer (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I got called a f***ing b**ch by one of my students. I teach kindergarten. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38474) - you deserved it (5158)
On 05/29/2010 at 10:36pm - work - by love_today - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I just realized the harder my girlfriend comes during sex, the louder she snores after. I've tried earplugs but sometimes, like tonight, once I am up, I can't fall back to sleep. My choices are thus great sex and no sleep, or great sleep but no sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31142) - you deserved it (3991)
On 05/07/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by SkiMaskFukd (man) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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