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vegemute

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vegemute
  • Town/Country : Australia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1053
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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vegemute's favorite FMLs

Today, I met an old friend from high school and his hot girlfriend. I jokingly said she must be blind to go out with him. His response: "Yeah, she is." FML

#17728499
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17178) - you deserved it (29944)

On 09/12/2011 at 3:25pm - misc - by aru9 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

#17483730
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31697) - you deserved it (2552)

On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States

Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML

#17261824
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31996) - you deserved it (8021)

On 07/26/2011 at 12:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to my friend's house because his family was having a move away party for him. Everything was going good until his dad decided to give a toast. Including an anecdote about how he walked in on us watching porn together. FML

#17250020
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25528) - you deserved it (8742)

On 07/25/2011 at 2:43am - intimacy - by best_friend - United States (Texas)

Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML

#17172932
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36653) - you deserved it (5847)

On 07/19/2011 at 2:24am - kids - by hatemylife - United States (New York)

Today, I got home from work to find my house covered in graffiti dicks, the windows smashed, the front lawn entirely ripped up, and my letter box containing dog shit. I also found a note taped to the door saying, "Suck on this Darren". Darren is my next door neighbor. FML

#17063070
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53024) - you deserved it (2641)

On 07/11/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

#16993109
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28632) - you deserved it (2741)

On 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I saw a guy with a "free hugs" poster. Since nobody else was hugging him, I decided to. He had a boner. FML

#16886368
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20133) - you deserved it (33429)

On 06/27/2011 at 7:34pm - intimacy - by nomorefreehugs - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I snuck out to see my girlfriend in the middle of the night. When I got to her house, I decided to throw a rock at her window to wake her up. It broke a hole in the window. FML

#16075095
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9543) - you deserved it (41503)

On 05/07/2011 at 2:40am - misc - by Kaz (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I painted a kids room at my new nanny job while the dad "helped" by staring at my ass and telling me how hard it is to position your "junk" correctly when wearing a speedo. First day on the job. FML

#15865508
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34166) - you deserved it (3171)

On 04/20/2011 at 9:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

#15426482
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44884) - you deserved it (25754)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML

#15207309
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36258) - you deserved it (3013)

On 03/05/2011 at 3:26pm - misc - by devinbyrne - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML

#14898622
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31411) - you deserved it (2998)

On 02/08/2011 at 6:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my mum told me how I was only here because my dad couldn't pull out in time. FML

#14671096
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35898) - you deserved it (2968)

On 01/22/2011 at 5:03am - intimacy - by Theaccident (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at the Museum I volunteer at, I was touching some of the things in the exhibit where you can feel what natural boobs and testes feel like. I started rolling the "boob" like a stress ball and forgot where I was. When I realized people were staring, it became very awkward. FML

#13799355
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8470) - you deserved it (36703)

On 11/11/2010 at 6:30am - intimacy - by latino (man) - United States (Florida)



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