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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4176) - you deserved it (37905)
On 09/15/2011 at 5:22pm - misc - by Cooper491 - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I met an old friend from high school and his hot girlfriend. I jokingly said she must be blind to go out with him. His response: "Yeah, she is." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15590) - you deserved it (23047)
On 09/12/2011 at 3:25pm - misc - by aru9 - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31229) - you deserved it (2512)
On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States
Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27088) - you deserved it (6257)
On 07/26/2011 at 12:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to my friend's house because his family was having a move away party for him. Everything was going good until his dad decided to give a toast. Including an anecdote about how he walked in on us watching porn together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21387) - you deserved it (6714)
On 07/25/2011 at 2:43am - intimacy - by best_friend - United States (Texas)
Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35993) - you deserved it (5810)
On 07/19/2011 at 2:24am - kids - by hatemylife - United States (New York)
Today, I got home from work to find my house covered in graffiti dicks, the windows smashed, the front lawn entirely ripped up, and my letter box containing dog shit. I also found a note taped to the door saying, "Suck on this Darren". Darren is my next door neighbor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51476) - you deserved it (2565)
On 07/11/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28101) - you deserved it (2717)
On 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by Username - United States
Today, I saw a guy with a "free hugs" poster. Since nobody else was hugging him, I decided to. He had a boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19844) - you deserved it (32951)
On 06/27/2011 at 7:34pm - intimacy - by nomorefreehugs - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I snuck out to see my girlfriend in the middle of the night. When I got to her house, I decided to throw a rock at her window to wake her up. It broke a hole in the window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8699) - you deserved it (32594)
On 05/07/2011 at 2:40am - misc - by Kaz (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I painted a kids room at my new nanny job while the dad "helped" by staring at my ass and telling me how hard it is to position your "junk" correctly when wearing a speedo. First day on the job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31834) - you deserved it (3028)
On 04/20/2011 at 9:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41271) - you deserved it (21079)
On 03/22/2011 at 1:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35706) - you deserved it (3000)
On 03/05/2011 at 3:26pm - misc - by devinbyrne - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26323) - you deserved it (2346)
On 02/08/2011 at 6:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my mum told me how I was only here because my dad couldn't pull out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32186) - you deserved it (2421)
On 01/22/2011 at 5:03am - intimacy - by Theaccident (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Monday 17 June 2013
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