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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36520) - you deserved it (2416)
On 04/27/2012 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by yosenfal (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)
Today, I put my ironing board away in the bathroom. After closing the door, I heard a loud noise. The board had opened up while falling over, taking up the width of the room. I can't open the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17721) - you deserved it (2321) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/26/2012 at 4:45pm - misc - by Magicgwen - Sent from mobile version
Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21744) - you deserved it (3610)
On 04/23/2012 at 12:04am - love - by gottalovefriends - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, while watching TV with my wife, I realized that we were still watching "My Little Pony" even though the kids had been asleep for half an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16144) - you deserved it (4408)
On 04/19/2012 at 12:08pm - misc - by ajnmegs - United States (Colorado)
Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24479) - you deserved it (1904)
On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, there was a mandatory staff-wide "cleaning party" for a corporate inspection. I was assigned the outside bar which is infested with full-grown roaches with wings. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15347) - you deserved it (1236)
On 04/17/2012 at 12:26am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I found out that my daughter has been watching Supernatural and The X-Files so she'll fit in better at school. I'm not even angry that she's suddenly a brain-dead conformist, it's just that she now has nightmares all the time and insists on sleeping in my bed. She's a kicker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13991) - you deserved it (3679)
On 04/16/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by orangechicken (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I introduced my Spanish friend to a girl I've had a crush on for a long time. Because he only spoke Spanish and she only spoke English, I was the translator. The first thing he said to her was, "You are really pretty." I translated it as "I like other men." Later, they found out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6794) - you deserved it (28777)
On 04/15/2012 at 2:49am - love - by needurlove (man) - United States (Idaho)
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (13285) - you deserved it (34162)
On 04/12/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by girly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (13285) - you deserved it (34162)
On 04/12/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by girly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15796) - you deserved it (2819)
On 04/10/2012 at 6:48am - animals - by Baustigt - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I realized the reason my 20-year-old daughter has been so moody and aggressive is because she missed the promotional My Little Pony toys at McDonald's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16256) - you deserved it (3420)
On 04/08/2012 at 2:55pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my racist grandmother was complaining that the new nurse at her nursing home is a black woman. I casually asked, "Is she cute?" I'm now out of the will. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25509) - you deserved it (6207)
On 12/29/2011 at 1:47am - misc - by Snurkles McGree (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my dad got drunk and thought it would be a great idea to clean up the yard by dumping gasoline all over the leaves and lighting our entire front yard on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22023) - you deserved it (1567)
On 11/24/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by JWhite - United States (California)
Today, I was late for work. Trying to cut a few seconds off the clock, I tried to open my breakfast candy bar while taking a piss. I ended up pissing all over myself and dropping the bar in the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7276) - you deserved it (25932)
On 10/11/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by Massasam - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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