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vegemute

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vegemute

47Fucked!

vegemutevegemute
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 March 1999 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4940
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About vegemute : Heyhey, my name is Jack. I have a love for survival (Survivorman is my favourite show) as well as science, history, music, cooking and travel, and I'd like to study medicine in future - Docbastard is my idol
I love meeting new people, so chuck me a message. :)

vegemute's page activity

Visits<b>WittyMoron</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 2:09pm<b>isnobodyhere</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 1:05pm<b>jentrynicole</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 10:39pm<b>lalala96</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 11:45pm<b>ilovemonkeybutts</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 9:14pm<b>flyingmind</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 7:23pm<b>Tori_belle</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 11:49pm<b>shanewh40</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 11:26pm<b>jeffprobs</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 10:58pm<b>becca1998</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 1:04pm<b>rynoyhedino</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 1:57am<b>kitkat818</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 2:39pm<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 10:20am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 8:46am<b>Gladeryn</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 8:07pm<b>YTfangirl</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 2:25pm<b>Jesmassimo</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 7:36am<b>iireenee</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 8:53am

Fucked!<b>WittyMoron</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 8:09pm<b>Tori_belle</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 2:13am<b>becca1998</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 4:35pm<b>rynoyhedino</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 7:58am<b>kitkat818</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 11:08am<b>MyUsernameisEpic</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 9:48pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 10:07pm<b>invadermaythe1st</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 5:46pm<b>rookworst</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 2:44pm<b>LexiD19</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 7:04pm<b>KaylaRox1908</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 1:43pm<b>sa5v</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 1:59pm<b>emmarawr17</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 9:49pm<b>lolcaption2324</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 11:55am<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 7:46am<b>Dogluvr1197</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 12:12am<b>NoYesNoYesNoYes</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 8:33pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 12:36am

vegemute's FML badges

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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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vegemute's favorite FMLs

Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML

#19710621
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20695) - you deserved it (42677)

On 05/31/2012 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML

#19710160
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11811) - you deserved it (32761)

On 05/31/2012 at 3:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my little brother got his crush to go out with him by impressing her with his level 500 FarmVille. This is the next generation. FML

#19708903
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31102) - you deserved it (2458)

On 05/31/2012 at 8:43am - kids - by Discouraged - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was cutting the grass, it was really hot and I fainted. I woke up to see my mom standing over me. I thought she was going to freak out and call an ambulance. Instead she said, "Good, you're up. Now you can finish." FML

#19705989
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27056) - you deserved it (2370)

On 05/30/2012 at 7:07pm - misc - by Aw522 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to sneak out of work to get my daughter from her school. Apparently, she had thought that hurling a bowling ball down the stairs during the lunch hour rush would make her cool. In actual fact, it made her expelled. FML

#19704812
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26042) - you deserved it (2796)

On 05/30/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The)

Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML

#19702897
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34934) - you deserved it (8059)

On 05/30/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving home, when some kid on a motorbike shot in front of me from the pavement, almost running me off the road. When I confronted him, he screamed, "Watch where you're going next time!" If I could flush every last one of these human turds from the toilet of life, I would. FML

#19698892
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20836) - you deserved it (3324)

On 05/29/2012 at 1:10pm - misc - by cunting cunts (man) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML

#19682982
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12455) - you deserved it (44677)

On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)

Today, I was choosing my soft drink at a restaurant. The kid in front of me was too short to reach the lids so I handed him one. His mom rushed over, pried it out of his hands, threw it away, and yelled, "She's filthy, don't use that." FML

Today, I finally told my roommate, who doesn't pay rent, to go get a job. He left, came back, and immediately went to my refrigerator to eat. I asked him about his job and what his pay is. Apparently, putting together a bike for a kid is a job. FML

#19671365
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20602) - you deserved it (2687)

On 05/24/2012 at 3:41am - money - by hunterjumper1212 - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML

#19664729
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28704) - you deserved it (4478)

On 05/22/2012 at 9:24pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

#19650159
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30339) - you deserved it (3383)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to the water park with my boyfriend. A swimsuit was required to go on the rides. My bikini straps somehow got torn off and I had nothing else with me. My boyfriend said, "Hell, just wear my spare shorts. You could pass as a guy with your chest". FML

#19642292
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31478) - you deserved it (3343)

On 05/18/2012 at 3:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I finally gained the nerve to ask out the girl of my dreams. She responded by saying, "You need to lower your standards." FML

#19637650
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29116) - you deserved it (2942)

On 05/17/2012 at 5:07pm - love - by colts609380 - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to convince my husband to not trim the lower branches of my favorite tree. After pleading my case, I turned around and ran smack into one of said branches. My face and my dignity still hurt. FML

#19636760
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9214) - you deserved it (21108)

On 05/17/2012 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)



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