Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

vegemute

Online | Search for a member

vegemute

14Fucked!

vegemutevegemute
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 March 1999 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4030
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About vegemute : Heyhey, my name is Jack. I'm a huge fan of survival (Survivorman is my favourite show) as well as science, history, music, cooking and travel, and I'd like to study medicine in future - Docbastard is my idol
I love meeting new people, so chuck me a message. :)

vegemute's page activity

Visits<b>Kelsey_R</b> - one hour ago<b>ILikeKoalas</b> - 7 hours ago<b>JustMe1600</b> - 14 hours ago<b>flyingmind</b> - yesterday at 8:44am<b>queensassygoat</b> - yesterday at 12:49am<b>Gladeryn</b> - yesterday at 11:26pm<b>thevelociraptor</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 10:35pm<b>igoryok76</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 10:46pm<b>sam882</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 1:27am<b>MDoremis</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 2:14pm<b>luc887</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 1:52pm<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 1:33am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 12:15pm<b>Umbraelux</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 5:21pm<b>Miss_Chevious</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 10:07pm<b>babeybazooka</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 5:18pm<b>WOTAN1488</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 2:48pm<b>EmmaRey</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 2:36pm

Fucked!<b>ILikeKoalas</b> - one hour ago<b>Gladeryn</b> - yesterday at 5:27am<b>thevelociraptor</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 4:36am<b>Kelsey_R</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 12:29am<b>dewberry2001</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 3:51am<b>flyingmind</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 5:14pm<b>lindacollins423</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 7:37am<b>xxtatumalyssaxx</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 1:49pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 7:24pm<b>echarlotte</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 12:48am<b>_lyricall</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 4:56pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 6:30am<b>alexlots</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 4:55pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 3:52pm

vegemute's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of vegemute's badges

vegemute's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered the crunching noise your foot will make if you accidentally drop a cement block on it. FML

#20011651
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29385) - you deserved it (2787)

On 08/09/2012 at 3:33pm - health - by flatfoot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found one of my mom's old diaries that dated back to my infant days. I couldn't help but read a little. I'm now in great concern over how many times my mom wrote that she wanted to dunk me in the toilet or throw me against a wall. FML

#20010632
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23307) - you deserved it (3469)

On 08/09/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML

#20006521
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29597) - you deserved it (1888)

On 08/06/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by Joe Lizen - United States (Illinois)

Today, as I sat down for my flight, I realised that the passenger I had to sit next to for the next seven hours was wearing a necklace made from tampon packaging. FML

#19995117
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23322) - you deserved it (1845)

On 07/31/2012 at 7:28pm - misc - by lotd - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, a homeless lady decided she needed to change underwear in the middle of the sidewalk. I turned around just in time to see her legs in the air with no undies on. I can never eat salami again. FML

#19988661
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22144) - you deserved it (2227)

On 07/28/2012 at 4:07am - misc - by em from Cali - United States (California)

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

#19983789
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27267) - you deserved it (2111)

On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was in the hospital. I had recently broken my arm, and had to have it re-broken. I've secretly been a lesbian for years. Guess who came out to her strict Christian parents while on anesthetics. FML

#19982177
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33593) - you deserved it (4704)

On 07/24/2012 at 7:44pm - love - by Arthurie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally got to see my boyfriend, after two months apart. As we hugged, he lifted me up and spun me around like in the movies. It would have been really romantic if I hadn't hit a little boy while he was riding past on his bike. I've just traumatized a little kid. FML

#19981666
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23374) - you deserved it (2538)

On 07/24/2012 at 2:33pm - kids - by Jessi (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss bitched at me because my body language "indicates that you don't enjoy doing your job". I just have scoliosis. FML

#19972077
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25281) - you deserved it (1507)

On 07/22/2012 at 12:50am - work - by c - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while I was walking home alone, a homeless man approached me and took me by the hand. Apparently, he's been watching me for weeks and has fallen madly in love with me. He told me not to worry, though; he's not a rapist. FML

#19918640
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34290) - you deserved it (2167)

On 07/10/2012 at 12:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my manager called me into his office and spent half an hour screaming at me for granting one of our workers so many religious off-days. Apparently, the name of these "religious observances" actually means something to the effect of "scoring some pussy" in Macedonian. FML

#19909832
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21641) - you deserved it (4037)

On 07/08/2012 at 2:32pm - work - by a4rk (man) - Malaysia (Sarawak)

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32134) - you deserved it (3816)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML

#19902817
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11441) - you deserved it (25892)

On 07/07/2012 at 12:08am - misc - by totallyembarassed - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I discovered that I'm adopted. How? After a great lunch, I asked my uncle how he'd made the salad dressing. He replied, "Haha! It's a secret family recipe, my dear!" I wouldn't have thought twice about it, were it not for my parents' shocked expressions, and the long, awkward silence. FML

#19901344
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27736) - you deserved it (1705) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/06/2012 at 6:14pm - misc - by Lyn (woman) - France

Today, I was at the airport. I was on my way to see my dad for the first time since I was 4. Whilst I was waiting for my dad to find me, a strange man started flirting with me. Irritated, I told him I was waiting for my dad to get me, and to f*ck off. The strange man was my father. FML

#19887326
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37129) - you deserved it (3741)

On 07/03/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by BunniesOnAcid - United States (Tennessee)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: