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vegemute

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vegemute

47Fucked!

vegemutevegemute
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 March 1999 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5003
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About vegemute : Heyhey, my name is Jack. I have a love for survival (Survivorman is my favourite show) as well as science, history, music, cooking and travel, and I'd like to study medicine in future - Docbastard is my idol
I love meeting new people, so chuck me a message. :)

vegemute's page activity

Visits<b>Gladeryn</b> - one hour ago<b>WittyMoron</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 2:09pm<b>isnobodyhere</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 1:05pm<b>jentrynicole</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 10:39pm<b>lalala96</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 11:45pm<b>ilovemonkeybutts</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 9:14pm<b>flyingmind</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 7:23pm<b>Tori_belle</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 11:49pm<b>shanewh40</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 11:26pm<b>jeffprobs</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 10:58pm<b>becca1998</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 1:04pm<b>rynoyhedino</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 1:57am<b>kitkat818</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 2:39pm<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 10:20am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 8:46am<b>YTfangirl</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 2:25pm<b>Jesmassimo</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 7:36am<b>iireenee</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 8:53am

Fucked!<b>WittyMoron</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 8:09pm<b>Tori_belle</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 2:13am<b>becca1998</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 4:35pm<b>rynoyhedino</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 7:58am<b>kitkat818</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 11:08am<b>MyUsernameisEpic</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 9:48pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 10:07pm<b>invadermaythe1st</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 5:46pm<b>rookworst</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 2:44pm<b>LexiD19</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 7:04pm<b>KaylaRox1908</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 1:43pm<b>sa5v</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 1:59pm<b>emmarawr17</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 9:49pm<b>lolcaption2324</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 11:55am<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 7:46am<b>Dogluvr1197</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 12:12am<b>NoYesNoYesNoYes</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 8:33pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 12:36am

vegemute's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of vegemute's badges

vegemute's favorite FMLs

Today, my neighbor put up an electric fence to keep my five-year-old son out. FML

#20980679
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40220) - you deserved it (13845)

On 12/04/2013 at 5:29pm - kids - by Awkward - United States (Washington)

Today, my father took revenge on me for bankrupting him in a game of Monopoly. His revenge consisted of having a truckload of sand dumped in my driveway while I was at work. FML

#20966996
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41509) - you deserved it (3484)

On 11/22/2013 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked in on my brother smoking weed. He immediately tried to hide it by dropping it down his pants, still lit. Screaming in pain, he pulled down his pants. The ashes burned his knob. I had to take him to the emergency room. FML

Today, my girlfriend discovered subliminal messaging. She thought that whispering "you want to shave your beard" under her breath while I'm not looking at her, then denying ever saying it, would eventually make me shave my alleged upper-lip hair FML

#20832150
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37219) - you deserved it (5515)

On 08/11/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by -__- (woman) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML

#20826835
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52546) - you deserved it (4640)

On 08/08/2013 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dad walked in on me filming a Harlem Shake video. He stared for a moment, said "Son, I don't have a problem with homosexuals, but... nevermind." then shook his head and walked out. FML

#20806774
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40011) - you deserved it (25589)

On 07/27/2013 at 6:43pm - misc - by ¬_¬ (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

#20805312
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60417) - you deserved it (9907)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States

Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML

#20607466
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53286) - you deserved it (6874)

On 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand

Today, the Chinese student I've been teaching English to got on stage in front of hundreds of people to read her final essay. She ended with, "What a fucking day." I don't swear, and I no longer have a job. FML

#20571924
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38477) - you deserved it (2690)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by effiestonem154 (woman) - United States

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

#20518830
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28105) - you deserved it (46590)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, the guy I like asked me out for the first time. It's a good thing he did it over Facebook, because I started shaking and almost threw up. I don't know how I'm going to function on our date next week. FML

#20514506
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32562) - you deserved it (7861)

On 02/20/2013 at 2:31am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML

#20512419
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34202) - you deserved it (3718)

On 02/18/2013 at 5:15pm - work - by ari (woman) - United States

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31942) - you deserved it (6421)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML

#20509476
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33189) - you deserved it (7487)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:03pm - money - by an idiot (man) - Australia



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