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vegemute

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vegemute

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
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  • Number of visits : 2442
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Visits<b>BBlah</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 6:59am<b>LivToFail</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 6:36pm<b>captain_nick</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 10:13am<b>demi94</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 11:41pm<b>Horsempeg</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 12:03am<b>klenorris</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 1:59am<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 9:15pm<b>davotesolono</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 11:35pm<b>notabeachbabe</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:55pm<b>football98</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 6:33am<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 1:53pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 1:02pm<b>dingostacy</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 3:42pm<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 11:11pm<b>belljars</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 5:00am<b>bigboi1992</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 3:40am<b>leeebeeeee18</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 10:11am<b>ironfey</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 8:13pm

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vegemute's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad walked in on me filming a Harlem Shake video. He stared for a moment, said "Son, I don't have a problem with homosexuals, but... nevermind." then shook his head and walked out. FML

#20806774
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37112) - you deserved it (23649)

On 07/27/2013 at 6:43pm - misc - by ¬_¬ (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

#20805312
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56243) - you deserved it (9326)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States

Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML

#20607466
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49359) - you deserved it (6445)

On 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand

Today, the Chinese student I've been teaching English to got on stage in front of hundreds of people to read her final essay. She ended with, "What a fucking day." I don't swear, and I no longer have a job. FML

#20571924
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34877) - you deserved it (2424)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by effiestonem154 (woman) - United States

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

#20518830
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25342) - you deserved it (43187)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by think i'm dating perdix (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, the guy I like asked me out for the first time. It's a good thing he did it over Facebook, because I started shaking and almost threw up. I don't know how I'm going to function on our date next week. FML

#20514506
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29112) - you deserved it (7406)

On 02/20/2013 at 2:31am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML

#20512419
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30828) - you deserved it (3403)

On 02/18/2013 at 5:15pm - work - by ari (woman) - United States

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28514) - you deserved it (5997)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML

#20509476
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29600) - you deserved it (6924)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:03pm - money - by an idiot (man) - Australia

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36946) - you deserved it (2413)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I waited over 30 minutes in freezing cold weather for my bus. When it finally arrived, I went to get on board, but slipped and fell on the icy ground. The driver waited a whole 2 seconds before snorting, "Ain't nobody got time for this shit", closing the doors, and driving off. FML

#20476700
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38856) - you deserved it (2807)

On 01/24/2013 at 4:25pm - misc - by frozensolid (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

#20462136
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36619) - you deserved it (3837)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by WTF (man) -

Today, my dad learned that it's possible to power a lightbulb with a potato. Since then, he's been going around the house removing all the plugs from the wall and plugging them into potatoes instead. He's absolutely baffled as to why it won't work. FML

#20450090
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27552) - you deserved it (2356)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:23pm - misc - by Darkandcold - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

#20449894
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50367) - you deserved it (4840)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States



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