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vegemute

Offline (the 05/27/2015 at 11:11pm) | Search for a member

vegemute

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vegemute
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 March 1999 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3627
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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vegemute's page activity

Visits<b>annarcheer</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 7:09pm<b>aishah77</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 8:19am<b>nunes36</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 3:08am<b>lola4455</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 11:18pm<b>arasx0</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 5:08pm<b>Araj_Hs</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 6:13am<b>Archangel77</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 6:58am<b>Majjzg</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 6:26am<b>BBlah</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 6:21am<b>bridgetb77</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 7:51pm<b>fatiezzhm</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 7:30am<b>AHSFan</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 9:43am<b>vegasked</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 4:17pm<b>WattledParsley</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 9:41pm<b>jinxy333</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 5:33pm<b>leogirl1992</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 9:00am<b>BrandyFaye</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 8:58pm<b>IndicaPaincakes</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 11:27pm

Fucked!<b>annarcheer</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 3:52pm

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vegemute's favorite FMLs

Today, I was fired for not asking a senior citizen for proof that he was over 21 and legally allowed to purchase alcohol. When I told my manager he was clearly over 21, he replied, "But what if he WASN'T?" FML

#21412440
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29716) - you deserved it (3077)

On 05/19/2015 at 7:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend decided to suddenly stop in the middle of sex, just as I was actually starting to enjoy myself, just to bear hug me and exclaim, "Crikey, she's angry!" in the voice of Steve Irwin. He laughed so hard at his own joke that he went soft and couldn't continue. FML

#21410853
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29511) - you deserved it (2756)

On 05/16/2015 at 5:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter barged into the bathroom while I was peeing, inspected the toilet and said, "You're well hydrated, good job." FML

#21405462
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28583) - you deserved it (3365)

On 05/06/2015 at 1:22am - kids - by seethroughpee - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after recently getting my car fully serviced and fixed, the horn has decided to spontaneously beep. To stop the beeping I have to press the horn hard, making it look like I'm purposely doing it to piss people off. FML

Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML

#21167190
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57716) - you deserved it (6941)

On 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by 404: sense not found (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to somebody shaking my shoulder. I had slept over at a friend's house, so I assumed my friend was just fooling around. With my head under the pillow, I swung my hand at his face then gave him the finger. Turns out, my friend left for basketball and I had slept in. It was his mom. FML

#21141244
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40297) - you deserved it (17049)

On 05/15/2014 at 10:34pm - misc - by NickJJ - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

#21128713
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37302) - you deserved it (4097)

On 05/02/2014 at 10:04am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my girlfriend's little brother challenged me to a water gun fight. I accepted, not knowing he was going to fill his gun with vinegar, then shoot me in the eyes with it. FML

#21111233
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41563) - you deserved it (4238)

On 04/12/2014 at 3:59pm - kids - by BeatByA9yrold (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

#21111156
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36220) - you deserved it (8490)

On 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, a woman pushed a stroller in front of my car. Thinking I'd hit someone, I jumped out. Turns out it was a doll. The "woman" was a 14-year-old girl, claiming, "I did it for the Vine!" FML

#21058421
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50221) - you deserved it (3959)

On 02/12/2014 at 7:52pm - misc - by Parusu - United States (Florida)

Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML

#21051355
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42182) - you deserved it (21925)

On 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Evolution mama (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, I got a ransom note saying, "We have kidnapped your husband and won't release him unless you postpone the wedding." The wedding is tomorrow and it was in his handwriting. FML

#20998964
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50488) - you deserved it (4060)

On 12/20/2013 at 9:51am - misc - by oh why... (woman) - United States

Today, it was safe to say I started sleepwalking again, after I woke up with a mouth filled with soil and a ravaged plant. FML

#20995711
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36719) - you deserved it (3237)

On 12/17/2013 at 10:38am - health - by adventurousnightsbutnotinagoodway (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, my neighbor put up an electric fence to keep my five-year-old son out. FML

#20980679
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38692) - you deserved it (13234)

On 12/04/2013 at 5:29pm - kids - by Awkward - United States (Washington)



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

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